Holiday Celebrations

Growing up, our family did holidays big. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween ... we had fun. The relatives got together and we would giggle with our cousins till the dreaded "Kids it's time to go," would be shouted by the parents. The memories I have of those celebrations are wonderful. Birthday cakes decorated by my mother. Bountiful feasts for the holidays. Decorations everywhere. They were happy times. When I met Brad, his family celebrated holidays a little differently. Since his immediate family lived away from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, the celebrations weren't nearly as big, unless they made the trip to Wisconsin to be with them.

Consequently when Brad and I married, we were joining two very different ways of celebrating together. Like Brad's family, we lived far from our extended families, so unless we traveled to Iowa or Pennsylvania (or they traveled here), our holidays became personal affairs, oftentimes including church families in celebrations. We celebrated many Thanksgivings and Easters at parties described as "for families without families." Our Christmas Caroling Campfire has included anyone and everyone (neighbors, church friends, co-workers, co-volunteers) who wanted to celebrate the newborn Christ. We never took our costumed kids to trick-or-treat at their grandparents on Halloween because they didn't live near by. July 4th was always with friends usually swimming in someone's pool then off to the fireworks. Brad and I never forgot to celebrate our anniversary and Valentine's Day in a special and romantic way. And birthdays are a big deal ... all about the person celebrating. With our kids we had birthday parties every single year as they were growing up (lake parties, quinceanera, sweet sixteen, scavenger hunts, water slides, pinatas, princess parties, sports themes). I wanted our family celebrations to be as big and wonderful as I remembered mine as a child. And I think, with our church families and friends, we accomplished that.

I am a big proponent of making memories ... every day if possible (Brad says I need it on a T-shirt: "Make A Memory"). So getting together with family and friends to celebrate is a big part of that. Each holiday only comes around once each year, so I believe in really enjoying each one. Brad wasn't as crazy about big celebrations except on Thanksgiving (let's face it - feast and football, what's not to love?), but, bless him, he not only put up with my big shebangs, but even planned a few (15th Anniversary Surprise Wedding Vow Renewal, anyone? Or 49th birthday Beach Surprise with the kids?).

You couples are coming from different background and traditions with how you celebrate. You may have different foods you eat, ways you open gifts, ways of decorating, specific things you participate in, special days of doing things and meshing those together can sometimes be tricky. But they can be unique to you and so much fun. We encourage you to do two things:

1. Remember it is about you both and your family first. What works for you as a couple and for your future children is what you need to focus on.
2. Respect one another's memories. Find ways to combine things you both love about your family memories. For example, Daddy's family opened Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve. My family did Christmas morning. The compromise ... Christmas Eve our children opened one gift (typically Christmas jammies) and the rest on Christmas morn.

Have fun on the holidays you have ahead. Celebrate with joy. Truly understand the meaning behind the faith holidays in celebrating. You will have days ahead filled with jobs, challenges, responsibilities and the like, so making sure to find ways to observe yearly festivities will give you things to look forward to and memories to last your lifetime.

Discussion: Share how your family celebrated each holiday and birthdays? What are similar about your celebrations? What are different? What would you like to incorporate from each way of celebrating?

Prayer: Father, we thank You that we have so many opportunities to celebrate! And we're especially thankful for the holidays that celebrate You! Lord we pray we can create new ways of celebrating with one another while keeping many of our traditions from our individual families. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Fericit Ziua Nuntii!

I once had a boss ask me what nationality I was. I started rattling off the English, Scotch-Irish, Danish and the rest before he interrupted me and said, "With those eyes?" I pointed to them and said, "Romanian." Ah, he said, "I wondered." I was told our tiny eyes - which both Anton and I have - were of Romanian descent. They are so small, getting my contacts in and out took some getting used to. Just couldn't get those eyes open enough. However, I have seen many Romanians with big eyes, so not sure how accurate that description is.

Well, since we have Romanian in the family, we thought we'd take a look at their wedding traditions. Romanians, by the way, are descendants of gypsies. Maybe that's why we've moved so much.

The groom is given a shave by his best man ... with an axe or knife. Be cool to see a chef's knife used here, hee hee. Then he and the groomsmen go pick up the bride to take her to church, gifting her with a bouquet. The groomsmen show up with pine trees which they leave at her door for good luck.

The couple has marriage godparents (naşi), perhaps a mentor couple. The couple picks who they want to be their naşi. It is the marriage godmother along with the mother of the bride who break a loaf of sweet bread or cake above the bride's head. I could see crumbs getting in the fancy hairdo here. The bread is given to unmarried wedding guests to eat. The godmother puts the bride's veil on her then replaces it at the reception for a head scarf symbolizing her transition to wife.The veil is then placed on the head of the unmarried woman who caught the bouquet at the reception.

If someone sneezes before the wedding it's good luck, as is finding a spider in the crease of the dress. Dropping the wedding rings is bad luck. There are buckets of water set at the entrance of the church which people drop coins into. As the married couple leaves the church, they kick the buckets over so all the water spills out, washing away any bad luck for the couple. As Ayla and Rob are getting married on an upper deck, I would feel real bad for the folks on the first level under those buckets! The money is given to the couple at the reception.

The godparents escort the couple into the church for the wedding. During the ceremony - now I LOVE this part - the bride and groom get crowns, symbolizing how they are now king and queen of their new home. How cool is that? Who wouldn't want crowns?!

At the reception, the groomsmen kidnap the bride and hold her for ransom. The ransom is usually alcohol.There is the traditional money dance. There are even parties given for two days after the wedding which the bride and groom must attend, so the honeymoon is postponed a couple days.

So there you go. Many to choose from! Fericit ziua nuntii! (Happy Wedding Day!)

Discussion: Any of the Romanian wedding traditions appeal to you? Which are a complete "no way!"

Prayer: Lord, there are such unique traditions in every country. How fun all the different places are. We pray you are glorified in every wedding moment all around the world. In Jesus, Amen.

Mind If I Move In Closer

Growing up, my family had fondue on Christmas Eve, went to church and typically opened one gift on Christmas Eve. Daddy's family opened all their presents on Christmas Eve then went to Midnight Mass. Our immediate family has all kinds of Christmas Eve traditions. We have cheese fondue and Polish sausage supper. We go to church for candlelight worship. We watch a Christmas movie. And we open Christmas Eve pajamas. But there is one other Christmas Eve tradition that your Daddy and I have had since that first year of marriage, one that will make some folks blush. We bought each other some sexy lingerie and, well, let it lead the way to a sweet night under the Christmas tree lights. Christmas Eve is a holy night, and we believe this was something special, pure, loving and holy between just the two of us given by our Father who created it. We did this every single year, even after you kids came along. We'd get all those presents wrapped and under the tree and then have our own Merry Christmas. Sometimes while visiting family out of town or having family visit us, we had to get a little more creative in carving out this time, but we made it work every year.

The reason we are sharing that with you is because amidst the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, it is easy to lose those sweet romantic moments. We decided early on that we would save that Silent Night as a time just for us. We don't want to delve too deeply into this, nor would we suggest you both have a similar tradition after you are married (unless of course you want to). It's just something we did, loved, looked forward to and have cherished the memories of all these years later.

You will create your own Christmas Eve traditions. They will be sweet and unique to you and your family. We pray you make beautiful memories together as you celebrate the birth of Savior, Emmanuel.

Discussion: Tell about your favorite Christmas Eve traditions. What is something you both might like to try as traditions for your family next year?

Prayer: Father, oh that we could have visited that manger 2,000+ years ago to worship the newborn King. We thank you for sending Him to us. May everyone fall on their knees this Holy Night to give you thanks and glory. In Jesus name, Amen.

A Day of Thanksgiving & Praise

Thanksgiving 1991

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Football game. Roasted turkey, Daddy's Stove Top sausage stuffing, green beans, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, cranberries and pumpkin pie. Tryptophans. Afternoon nap on the couch. Toss the football. Watch another football game. Put the Thanksgiving decorations away. Pull the Christmas boxes out of the attic.

That has been Thanksgiving at the Zimanek house since the first day of our marriage. Oh, the location or circumstances may change ... A few Turkey Trot runs; Brad's coworkers the year the turkey didn't cook; Thanksgiving at the boss's house eating the best southern food you ever tasted where sweet potato casserole was introduced; the Comfort Food Thanksgiving at the Zimaneks with Poptarts and mac 'n cheese; with the extended family and in-laws in WI; a house filled with Lauritzens and Amorosos another. But typically the schedule is always the same. All the parts work together to make this a fun, friends-family-and-football feast.

Turkey Trot 1993

This is your first Thanksgiving together. You are celebrating with Erica and anyone who wants to join you. I heard about your meal plans - a precious combination of Erica's family Thanksgivings and your own: pre-thanksgiving appetizers and a dinner with all the fixins. You will be mixing your traditions from Thanksgivings past with new ideas from this day forward. While our family will miss you terribly this Thanksgiving, we are so very excited for this adventure ahead for you. We know that our chances of celebrating Thanksgiving with you will be pretty slim as the years go on between our schedule and your own, so we cherish any moments we can have together, but that will never diminish our thanking God for you both.

President Lincoln signed this proclamation on Oct. 3, 1863 about Thanksgiving. It said: "I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens." Psalm 100:4 says: "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name."

Have fun making and creating new memories, remembering to be in thanksgiving and praise of our Lord. We love and miss you.

Discussion: Do you have any plans for future Thanksgiving traditions? What is your favorite part about Thanksgiving?

Prayer: Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord, for everything. Thank you for this day set aside in praise of you. Thank you for our family and friends. Thank you for the food we eat. We ask for your blessings on the year ahead knowing next year at this time, Mr. and Mrs. Goggin will be feasting together for the first time as husband and wife. Glory to you, O, Lord. Amen.

11:11 on 11/11

1111 is one of those numbers Zimaneks and Lauritzens seem to see all the time. On the alarm clock next to the bed, addresses, grocery store receipts. It just seems to pop up a lot. My Dad was the first to draw my attention to it. It was his address when he was a little boy. I remember countless times when he would point to whatever featured the number and say, "Eleven eleven." So, of course, when I met your Daddy, I would point it out to him as well.

Then we started this tradition: every year on Veterans Day, we would make sure we would kiss at 11:11.11 (in 2011, this was especially cool). Now it may seem silly, but it was just a little thing we did every year. And that can be complicated if either of us were working. We would call each other and blow kisses over the phone if we had to. Or make sure to get a kiss in the p.m. eleven o'clock hour (although to a veteran, they'd say that doesn't count since it's 23:00. :) Just a silly thing, but we've done it since we first met. It's become as much of a tradition for us as kissing at midnight on New Year's Day. It's just what we do. But it's special to us.

But it's not the only goofy little thing we do. Daddy loves Twinkies, and for some reason really liked Twinkie the Kid - which we lovingly refer to as the Twinkie Man. Daddy has been drawing the Twinkie Man for me since we first met. On little notes, letters, dry erase boards, even my hand. And he always has Twinkie Man signing "I love you." That is another sweet thing we do. Again, started by my father, we have been using the sign language symbol for "I love you" for a lifetime. I sign it to Daddy every single day as he leaves for work. And then, of course, he asks me to marry him several times each day.

Little things like this between the two of you are sweet ways to show how much you love each other. They are yours, personal, sweet and special. You may already have these sweet moments and traditions already. And some may come as the years go on. Are they proven ways to strengthen a marriage or make it last longer. Um, no.

But they sure are fun.

Discussion: What are some quirky things that are just yours together as a couple? Is there a tradition you've seen done by other couples you'd like to incorporate or tweak for yourselves?

Prayer: Lord, we know how important tradition is for you. And we thank you for sweet moments we can recreate and delight in daily and yearly. We love you, Father. And we thank you for our Veterans this day. In Jesus name, Amen.