Does That Really Say, "Submit?"

A week ago when Daddy and I were traveling to the beach, he asked me to read Ephesians to him. He is thinking about doing a sermon series on this epistle of Paul's and wanted to hear it read to him again. I say "again," because he had just recently listened to it on Bible Gateway. You can always get a fresh perspective of Scripture every time you listen to or read it (as we mentioned in Wednesday's post). So I read it to him. When I got to chapter 5, I read this aloud to him from verse 22:

"Wives, control your husbands..."

I stopped and looked out of the corner of my eye at my husband. He looked back at me out of the corner of his eye and said, "Stop it," as I burst into giggles. He knew I was not reading the Word directly. It actually says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." For someone as independent and in control as me, that verse can be a tough pill to swallow. Submit? Are kidding? If there is one thing my personality does not willingly agree to it's that whole submit thing. I mean, for crying out loud, he could be wrong! And I'm just supposed to submit to that? 

But God does not intend that wives submit in a doormat fashion. Matter of fact, Paul clarifies his comment in verse 33 of Ephesians 5 where he tells wives to "respect" their husbands. God wants husbands and wives to be a team. He calls the wife a "helpmate" in Genesis 2:18 when He first creates woman. While the husband is submissive to God, Paul says just a paragraph later in Ephesians 5 that God calls the husband to care for his wife as Christ does for the church. It's a pretty good system. 

Someone is the CEO of a company. Someone makes the decisions and is responsible for them. In God's eyes, the husband is that of the married couple. While those decisions are made jointly, in prayer and with love, the buck stops with the hubby. Now we know our girls: both Ayla and Kayla are strong women. They are stubborn, intelligent and independent ladies. Praise God for that, because Rob and Anton are not getting patsy girls. They can count on getting honest advice from their future wives. But with that means, the girls will have to sometimes tone it down a bit in respect to their future husbands. Speaking from experience, trust me, that can be a difficult process. But know that God places quite a bit of responsibility on the husbands as head of the household. And with prayer, as a team, you couples will do so well in serving and making decisions in Christ for God.

So hang in there, couples. God's got a workable program there that requires cooperation. And having watched you interacting in the past, we already see it working.

Discussion: Is submit a tough thing for ladies to hear? Guy, what do you think of the responsibility God places on you as head of the spiritual household? How do you couples think that will play out in your future marriages?

Prayer: Lord, we are yours. We submit to your rule, authority, love and direction. We know You have our best interests at heart. Father, we pray we can be a good team in serving you. That wives will respect their husband and husbands will love their wives sacrificially the same way Jesus does the church. May you be glorified in it all, Lord Jesus, Amen.

Conquer the World

Lately I have been fascinated with watching the Duggar family reality show called 19 Kids & Counting. I think I ignored the show when I first heard about it, thinking having that many kids was just crazy. But I stumbled across it about six months ago and was impressed by what I saw in these reruns with regards to Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's parenting skills and their dedication to their faith.

But most recently I have been captivated by their older daughters' courting, engagements and weddings. Of course, I always love weddings, but these were amazing for different reasons. These girls and their significant others have imposed strict rules on themselves during the pre-wedding process in efforts to keep themselves pure for marriage. Those rules include: side hugs only, chaperones at all times, no holding hands until you're engaged and no kissing until marriage. In today's culture these things are just unheard of! But what impressed me about their rules is not only how much these girls respected themselves enough to hold themselves to these standards, but that the men they loved did as well. You never saw those boys pressure those girls in any way. The rules were the rules, and they were worth the wait.

Now we're not saying that all couples should side hug only, not hold hands and the rest, but, those physical drives are very real, and when you open that door just a crack ... well, sometimes the door swings all the way open.

Culture today encourages, sometimes even pushes, couples to go way beyond holding hands and kissing. It is considered normal for people to have sex on first dates. And to be dating for awhile or even engaged and not be having sex, good gracious, what's wrong with you!?

I read a recent bridal magazine that suggested if you're going through a lot of stress in planning your wedding, to get in the bedroom and have sex. Then everything will be alright. Say what?! Says who?

We know the two of you had the opportunity to move in together, and we know you discussed it at length. And you know that we prayed diligently that you would be obedient to your faith. We were witness to several moments where the Father was gently reminding you to Whom you belonged and what He required. And how grateful to Him we were when we heard you had decided to wait until after your wedding. While the wait seems long, might even not make sense from the financial standpoint, we can guarantee being faithful to the Father will be such a blessing in the end in many ways.

It is our prayer that men and women will hold themselves to higher standards, those of their Father, and remember that they are worth respecting, valuing, cherishing and waiting for. Our Father says we show our love for Him in that we are obedient to Him. 1 John 5:3-4 says, "For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whatever is born of God conquers the world." 

Praying the two of you conquer the world.

Discussion: How important is being obedient to God to you? Is it difficult to go against culture or even your desires to be obedient? What rules have you set for yourself to remain obedient?

Prayer: Lord, you created us with longings to be together, a bond so beautiful in its creation. Thank you, Father, for such a beautiful gift. Help us to be obedient to you, love each other, respect each other and likewise ourselves. We are worth it. We know it, because you died for those many times when we've been disobedient. We love you, Father. In Jesus, Amen.