Happy Is The One

Yesterday during my devotion time, I read Psalm 128, one of the songs of ascents (which Jews would read while climbing the stairs to the temple in Jerusalem). This psalm is a beautiful encouragement to everyone, especially men, so I wanted to share it with our husbands-to-be. It says:

¹ Happy is everyone who fears the Lord,
    who walks in his ways.
² You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands;
    you shall be happy, and it shall go well with you.

³ Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
    within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots
    around your table.
⁴ Thus shall the man be blessed
    who fears the Lord.
⁵ The Lord bless you from Zion.
    May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem
    all the days of your life.
⁶ May you see your children’s children.
    Peace be upon Israel!

 When you read these verses, it's pretty clear what the key to happiness is for everyone ... fearing the Lord. Please understand that doesn't mean, "Eek! It's God! RUN!" in the scary fear sense. It means to completely respect. You know how when you were children and you feared disobeying your parents? It's that kind of fear. You are to be righteous enough to be obedient to Him. The phrase after that above explains how ... "who walks in His ways."

And look at what the psalmist says will be the reward! You will be happy, successful in your work, have a wife that compliments you and does good for the Kingdom, have the blessing of children, be blessed, live long and prosper (yeah, it looks like the Star Trek reference came from here). Know that this is not a endorsement for the prosperity gospel, where people believe if you are obedient to God you will be financially successful in life. There are plenty of folks who love the Lord who struggle in poverty. Matthew 5:45 says of God, "He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous." Good and bad will happen to everyone. But the eternal consequences of not obeying our Father are far worse. Christ promises us that we will have an abundant life in Him (John 10:10), but that is abundance in the Godly sense. Don't forget how much value there is in the spiritual rewards of a life of faith. Growing God's Kingdom is the best we can do. And being obedient to Him is the place to start.

So strive for righteousness in your life. It is our hope that in doing so, you will be blessed with all that is sung about in the above psalm. And how are we to be obedient? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind," (Deuteronomy 6:5. Matthew 22:37) and "Love your neighbor as yourself." (Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 22:39). Christ tells us every other law in Scripture hinges on these two commands (Matthew 22:40). There is no greater advice we can give you with regards to your life and your marriage.

Discussion: How difficult is it to be obedient to the Lord? What benefits have you seen to being obedient to Him? How does that obedience make you more successful, a better husband, good father and blessed?

Prayer: Lord God, may we remember to always fear you, love you and be obedient to you. You are our portion, Father, and it is more than enough. May our lives be lived in glory to you. In Christ, we pray, Amen.

"Marriage Ruins Everything."

The other day Kayla commented that a number of people have said to her and Anton, "Why are you getting married? Why don't you just live together? Marriage ruins everything." It broke my heart to hear that several folks have said that to them. You have to wonder, first, what kind of experiences they've had with marriage that they believe it ruins everything, and second, why they would think living together would be any better?

Brad and Anton are fans of a show called The Bachelorette. Personally, I can't stomach it because watching one woman kissing 25 different men just seems messed up. And for a few seasons now, the women have moved beyond kissing to "hooking up" (cultural slang for having sex) with several of the men. To quote the contestant this year, "I have to explore these relationships my own way." Personally, we don't think it was ever God's intention for people to explore relationships that way. He made it pretty clear that was to be saved for the marriage itself. Romans 6:16 says, "Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?" Culture has twisted social norms to where couples actually think you need to "try that out," that living together instead of marriage is okay and sadly that "marriage ruins everything."

Well, do this: ask the woman whose husband is deployed for military service if marriage ruins everything. Ask the couple who has been married for over 50 years if marriage ruins everything. Asking the husband or wife who has just lost their beloved spouse to some accident or disease if marriage ruins everything. Ask Daddy and I if marriage ruins everything. Marriage doesn't. Some people might, but the institution of marriage as designed by our Father certainly does not.

Don't be disheartened when you hear people make comments like that. Be empathetic to them, as their life circumstances may have certainly influenced their views on marriage. But know that what God has created is beautiful and leads to an abundant life in Him. As long as we are obedient to Him, we will certainly see the blessing in it. Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." We pray that when you are married you will be the sweet voice of encouragement to engaged couples to say to them, "Congratulations! How blessed you will be! Just remember to Whom you belong."

Discussion: What is the worst marriage comments you have heard? What are your personal thoughts about what marriage is? What can you point to as a good example of marriage?

Prayer: Our Lord God, we thank you for creating this beautiful union called marriage. And we pray our children delight in it. We pray they will be obedient to your Word. And we pray they will be a light in the darkness showing how what you have made is so blessed and beautiful. in Jesus we pray, Amen.

Created By God

The U.S. Supreme Court last Friday took it upon themselves to redefine the word marriage. No longer is it civilly between a man and woman, but rather between any two committed adults. I read an article after the ruling which said marriage has been evolving since the beginning of time and this was just the next step. Just makes me wonder what the next evolutionary step is after this.

See, here's the thing, marriage was created by God, something the writer of the above article failed to clarify. He designed it at the beginning of time when He said, "a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Christ affirmed this in Mark 10:7 and Matthew 19:5. Man and woman. It's man that changed marriage. Changed it where a husband would take multiple wives and concubines. Changed it where couples could divorce ... and even divorce again. Changed it where man could wed man and woman wed woman. Man changed marriage. God didn't change a thing.

Christians who believe in the Word of God walked into church disheartened Sunday, wondering "What do we do now in a world that changes God's rules." Well, we've been living in that world a long time. Man has been changing the rules since God made them. Here is what we do now ... we adhere to the Word. We remember that God is sovereign. We remember that Christians do not pick and choose which commands they should follow and decide which sins are truly sins. We are not the Creator. We don't make the rules.

My children, the world will continue to change the rules. We pray for you and your children and your children's children that they will love God so much that obedience to Him will be the most important thing in their lives. That Christ's last command in Matthew 28:19-20 - "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you." - will be our first priority, as we saw on a church parking lot sign Sunday. May you be strengthened as this world continues to evolve whatever else it wants to evolve knowing that God does not change (Malachi 3:6) and His Word will not pass away (Luke 21:33).

Discussion: What does God's unchanging nature mean to you?  What are your thoughts on the court's decision? What does God's definition of marriage mean to you?

Prayer: Father, we praise Your name that You do not change. We thank You for Your Word and pray we are obedient to it. Help us to remember we are to love one another in Your name. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Acknowledge The Lord

We titled this blog "Betrothed In Faithfulness" based on a verse in Hosea, and if you know anything at all about Hosea, you know he was definitely faithful. He was faithful to his wife and more importantly he was faithful to God. God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute and on top of that, a prostitute who would be unfaithful to him. Hosea's life imitated the relationship between God and the Israelites, who for years were not faithful in their worship of Him. Like God who continued to woo and win his people, Hosea does the same with his wife, Gomer. Hosea was faithful to God through it all, just as God has been faithful to those who love Him.

Faithfulness is key in a successful marriage. Faithfulness to God and His laws and faithfulness to one another. Without either, the marriage will truly struggle and perhaps collapse.

To keep faithfulness to God, regular time in Scripture reading, time in church and in prayer are all ways to keep God at the forefront of your life. Know what He requires and adhere to it. Remember Potiphar's wife, in the book of Genesis, pursuing Joseph? She tempted him daily. His response to her was filled with faithfulness to the Father: “Look, with me here, my master has no concern about anything in the house, and he has put everything that he has in my hand. He is not greater in this house than I am, nor has he kept back anything from me except yourself, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?" Gen. 39:8-9. Don't think for a second Joseph wasn't tempted. Joseph refused to even be it the same place with Potiphar's wife, according to verse 10. He was eluding temptation. But Joseph's greatest concern was about pleasing God.

If we made it our aim to always please God and be obedient to Him, marriages would be rock solid. Couples need to arm themselves daily with the Word to be prepared for Satan's attempt to derail us. When you marry, Satan will not give up. He will look for any opportunity to destroy it. Know that. He wants to destroy your faith, your integrity, your trust and your unity. And he will use whatever he has available and any weaknesses you show to accomplish it.

Make faithfulness your aim. When you are all googly eyed about each other, it is hard to imagine you could possibly be unfaithful to the one you love. But there are countless divorced people around the world proving Satan's success. You belong to the Lord. Be sure your behavior reflects that always. When you commit to one another in marriage, that commitment is for life. Our Father doesn't give up on us, so do not give up on one another.

The Hosea verse is this: "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord." (2:19-20). The ultimate goal in this marriage is that you both acknowledge, love and obey the Lord. Be faithful to Him.

Discussion: Share examples of relationships that were not faithful. How did it change circumstances for the couple? People around them? Share examples of relationships that were faithful. What are ways you can use to support your faithfulness to one another?

Prayer: Lord God, you are so in love with us, and we thank you for that love. We pray we love you back equally so and show it through our obedience to you. Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for Jesus. In His name we pray. Amen.

Be It Unto Me

Last Sunday after worship I asked a gal who is graduating from college this month what she was planning to do next. She said she had several options and added: "Just like your husband preached about today, I'm giving it to God and waiting to see where He leads."

How wonderful to have the confidence in God that He is in control. I heard it in Ayla's voice yesterday when she commented that her car was making strange noises. She said, "Please pray my car holds on. After this wisdom teeth surgery I have little money to my name right now. Just taking it day by day and hoping the car makes it. God has this." She knew God was in control.

This Christmas season we can look at Joseph and Mary and see their confidence that God had everything firmly in His hands, as my friend Rhona reminded me yesterday. Mary saying, "Be it unto me according to Your word, O Lord" (Luke 1:38) when the angel told her she will give birth to the Son of the Most High. Joseph taking a pregnant woman as his wife after a visit from the angel of the Lord in his dream. Both fleeing to Egypt after a warning in another dream. God had it in control, and they were obedient to Him.

That is our advice to you this day: that you remember who is in control and walk in obedience to His direction. The Father knows what will happen today and what will happen in the future. He knows the path you need to take to grow ever closer like and to Him. He knows what challenges are ahead. He knows your joys. He's got it all. Job 12:10 says: "In His hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind." In Proverbs 16:9 it says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Ephesians 1:11 says, "In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will." Isaiah 14:24 says, "The Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand." 

Twila Paris sings in one of my favorite songs "God Is In Control:"

This is no time for fear
This is the time for faith and determination
Don't lose the vision here carried away by the motion
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart
There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together
God is in control

Knowing that God has it all in His control as part of His plan is comforting, so going to Him in prayer to ask for guidance and then acting in obedience to it is essential and, frankly, wise.

Every major decision we've had to make as a couple we went to God about. Every job change, every move, tragic circumstances, major purchases ... we wanted to make sure we were acting in obedience and following His plan for our lives. He hasn't failed us yet and promises us He will not.

Jeremiah 29:11 is a verse commonly found on graduation cards. It says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope," but it's Jeremiah 29:12-13 that completes the statement: "Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Want to know what God has planned? Ask Him. He will show the way. Scripture tells us in Isaiah 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'” So don't forget to ask, listen ... and obey. Then be amazed and give Him the glory. As it says in Exodus 9:16, "But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth." 

Discussion: Share a time when you heard an answer to prayer about what you should do next in your life. Are there questions you have now for your future? How has God amazed you in guiding your life?

Prayer: Father, we are so thankful You have our lives in Your hands. Help us, Father, listen closely to Your direction and follow Your will. We pray we wiill glorify Your name in this journey of life. In Jesus, Amen.

Obedience Without Reservation

I saw a quote from a Christian music artist just recently who had made some lifestyle choices that went against Scripture. In this article about her, she made this comment when saying she had reconciled her life to her faith: "God, this is what I got, so you love me with this from where we're starting today or you don't." She said she embraced her choices at this point and has moved forward. Here's the thing. Her prayer to God ... sounds like an ultimatum founded on the obvious. She asks God if He will love her as is. And here's the thing ... if she's Christian she knows God already loves her ... enough to die for her. He created her. He knows her heart. He loves her so unbelievably much. He loves everyone of us that way. But He doesn't want us to stay where we are. No matter what sin we have, He will love us. But He wants us to become more like Christ. He doesn't want us to say, "Hey - this is my sin. Love me this way or not, I'm staying here." It's like saying, "Liars, keep lying. God loves you." Or "Thieves, keep stealing. God loves you." Or "Adulterers, keep on cheating on your spouses. God loves you."

God calls us to a life of obedience to His will. In the Disciples Bible Study it says this: "Faith is not belief without proof; faith is obedience without reservation." That is backed up with Scripture which says in 1 Samuel 15:22: "And Samuel said, “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obedience to the voice of the Lord? Surely, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams." And in Romans 6:16 "Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?" And then powerfully so in 1 John 5:2-4 "By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whatever is born of God conquers the world. And this is the victory that conquers the world, our faith." Christ himself said in John 14:23, "Jesus answered him, “Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them."

We are called by God to be obedient to His commands, and not just the ones we want to obey. We are to love. We are to be generous. We are to care for the least of these. We are not supposed to sin. Those are the rules. And we show we love God by being obedient to them ... not giving Him ultimatums and telling Him how we are going to live our lives. 

We want you both to understand the importance of obedience to God in all aspects of your lives. You will make mistakes, for sure, and God will love you nonetheless. That doesn't mean you continue in them. You will understand this more fully when you become a parent. You will love your children regardless of the errors they make, but you sure don't want them to continue in breaking the rules. You want them to grow, make choices based on righteousness and conform to the image of Christ. Don't ever settle for, "This is who I am, I like it, so I am staying this way." Instead strive for, "This is who Christ is, I love Him, and that's how I want to be."

The wisest man on the earth was King Solomon. He wrote a book called Ecclesiastes during the latter years of his life. This man had everything: money, power, women, brains. He had it all. But what he realized in his life was that none of that brought happiness. "'Meaningless, meaningless!' says the Teacher. 'Everything is meaningless,'" he says in Ecclesiastes 12:8. But he concludes at the end of his book in 12:13-14: "Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." The Israel kingdom was torn in two because King Solomon didn't obey God. And he left behind him a legacy of bad kings who disobeyed God, eventually leading to the destruction of Jerusalem. God wants obedience. He is a holy and just God who demands it. And because of His forgiveness, we see a new King was sent to earth as a baby to open the door for that forgiveness. 

Obedience without reservation ... that shows our love for Him. Be obedient.

Discussion: Are there areas of your life that you need to be obedient to God in? What are some ways you can keep yourself in check with God's commands?

Prayer: Father, please forgive us for our sins. You have told us and shown us how we are to live, and we fail You every day. Lord God, may Your Holy Spirit ever remind us of Your Word that we will be obedient to it. We love you, Father, and thank you for the King of Kings, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Conquer the World

Lately I have been fascinated with watching the Duggar family reality show called 19 Kids & Counting. I think I ignored the show when I first heard about it, thinking having that many kids was just crazy. But I stumbled across it about six months ago and was impressed by what I saw in these reruns with regards to Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's parenting skills and their dedication to their faith.

But most recently I have been captivated by their older daughters' courting, engagements and weddings. Of course, I always love weddings, but these were amazing for different reasons. These girls and their significant others have imposed strict rules on themselves during the pre-wedding process in efforts to keep themselves pure for marriage. Those rules include: side hugs only, chaperones at all times, no holding hands until you're engaged and no kissing until marriage. In today's culture these things are just unheard of! But what impressed me about their rules is not only how much these girls respected themselves enough to hold themselves to these standards, but that the men they loved did as well. You never saw those boys pressure those girls in any way. The rules were the rules, and they were worth the wait.

Now we're not saying that all couples should side hug only, not hold hands and the rest, but, those physical drives are very real, and when you open that door just a crack ... well, sometimes the door swings all the way open.

Culture today encourages, sometimes even pushes, couples to go way beyond holding hands and kissing. It is considered normal for people to have sex on first dates. And to be dating for awhile or even engaged and not be having sex, good gracious, what's wrong with you!?

I read a recent bridal magazine that suggested if you're going through a lot of stress in planning your wedding, to get in the bedroom and have sex. Then everything will be alright. Say what?! Says who?

We know the two of you had the opportunity to move in together, and we know you discussed it at length. And you know that we prayed diligently that you would be obedient to your faith. We were witness to several moments where the Father was gently reminding you to Whom you belonged and what He required. And how grateful to Him we were when we heard you had decided to wait until after your wedding. While the wait seems long, might even not make sense from the financial standpoint, we can guarantee being faithful to the Father will be such a blessing in the end in many ways.

It is our prayer that men and women will hold themselves to higher standards, those of their Father, and remember that they are worth respecting, valuing, cherishing and waiting for. Our Father says we show our love for Him in that we are obedient to Him. 1 John 5:3-4 says, "For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whatever is born of God conquers the world." 

Praying the two of you conquer the world.

Discussion: How important is being obedient to God to you? Is it difficult to go against culture or even your desires to be obedient? What rules have you set for yourself to remain obedient?

Prayer: Lord, you created us with longings to be together, a bond so beautiful in its creation. Thank you, Father, for such a beautiful gift. Help us to be obedient to you, love each other, respect each other and likewise ourselves. We are worth it. We know it, because you died for those many times when we've been disobedient. We love you, Father. In Jesus, Amen.