I Love You

We wanted to write this one for you for Valentine's Day, but this is one of those marriage subjects that is good any day. Those three key words that we hope you will say often to one another ... "I love you." You may have heard before that our American English only has one word for love. We love chocolate, warm weather, a back rub ... and our beloved. But surely the way you love those first three is nothing like the love you have for your betrothed. Yet the word is the same. Greeks have a few different words for love: agape (unconditional), phileo (brotherly) and eros (erotic) among others. I read somewhere that ancient Sanskrit and Persian had 96 and 80 words each for love. That's a lot of distinction. And with 6,500+ languages in the world, there are at least that many ways to say, "I love you." While saying it in English is enough, it would sure be sweet to stretch your mind a little bit and learn how to say it every way possible to your beloved. So we thought we'd help you out a bit a give a few ways ... including some creative ways.

For example in Ubbi Dubbi, the language game I learned from the PBS show Zoom in the 70s where you add "ub" before vowels," I love you" becomes, "Ub-eye lubove yuboo." In Pig Latin - another language game - it becomes "I-ay ove-lay oo-yay." In Elvish from Lord of the Rings, it's "Melin le." In Shyriiwook, the language of Wookies in Star Wars, it's "ah anoohowo rooohu." Numerically, "143". In sign language, the signed letters I, L and Y together.

Other languages are below. So learn a few, maybe pick a secret one for just between the two of you, and whisper those three sweet words over and over to each other.

French - Je t'aime
Polish - Kocham Cie
Danish - Jeg elsker dig
Romanian - Te iubesc
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Filipino - Mahal kita
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu
Japanese - Aishiteru
German - Ich liebe dich
Chinese - Wo ai ni
Hawaiian - Aloha au ia 'oe
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
Aramaic - Rikhmith-eykh (to female); Rikhmith-akh (to male)
Spanish - Te amo
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Saxon - Ik hou van di
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Greek - S'agapo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Czech - Miluji te
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu

Discussion: Do you have a special way of saying "I love you" to one another? Which of the above do you like?

Prayer: Father, we know You love us, for you showed us in the most amazing way ... by dying for us. Thank You, for Your beautiful Son, Jesus. May we repeat how much we love each other as often as possible. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Lost In The Shuffle

I watched a movie Thursday that I never thought I'd watch a second time ... the 2008 film Sex In The City. Never a fan of the series, I have caught enough of it in passing to know who's who and have the gist of the show. But I had seen the movie years ago. I watched it again on TV for one scene ... the scene where Carrie is jilted at the altar. Not for that specific part, but because I love the way Kristin Davis as Charlotte protects Carrie from Big's attempt at an apology in the middle of the street. I think it is raw and emotional and well played. I could have just watched that part of the movie and turned it off, but I was rolling coins from our change jar into wrappers, so the movie was a good diversion during the mundane task. It was then I noticed something that I thought could be important to discuss here. Big left Carrie at the altar because he got lost in the wedding preparations. Now while there is no excuse for Big's actions, there is something to be said for the reason.

Planning for a wedding can be all encompassing and stressful. Girls want the pageantry, glitz and big ceremony. They want to be princess for the day, swept off their feet by their prince and to shout to the world, "We're married!" And there is so much to prepare from the dress, to the wedding party, to the ceremony, to the reception details. Couples can get so wrapped up in the planning of the celebration, they forget what the celebrating is all about.

This ceremony is about uniting before God. It is a worship service. While some will make it a civil service, the truth of the matter is that marriage was created by the Creator. So to promise "to have and to hold" is done before Him. The rest is fluff and tradition invented over the years. So while some of it may seem important, honestly it isn't.

So don't stress out over it. And don't lose yourselves and the love you have for each other in the midst of it. Have fun. Consult one another about what each of you wants to happen during this celebration and respect each other's ideas.

Big and Carrie in the movie reconcile, and even marry, repeating the mantra "Me and you, just us two." We'd like you to remember that it's not just the two of you. It's you and God. That's the most important part of all. Keep that first, give that day to Him, and the rest will be a beautiful celebration to His glory.

Discussion: Has the planning for the wedding become stressful at all? Do you sometimes lose what the ceremony is truly about? What can you do for each other to remember what this wedding is truly for?

Prayer: Father, we thank You for the gift of marriage and that You will bear witness to this greatest of decisions made by couples. Lord, we pray in the preparations of the day, these betrothed will not lose sight of You through it all. In Christ, Amen.

Stealing the Show

When Ayla was around 6 or 7, Aunt Susie, who was then dating Uncle Todd, over heard Ayla speaking to Anton. She said, "When they get married, I will be the flower girl and you will be the ring bearer." Susie shared that story with us later. And just as Ayla predicted, it was so, also including cousin Lindsey as flower girl. Dressed in ivory with seed pearls dripping from their hair, the girls did a beautiful job in dropping petals along the aisle for their soon-to-be Aunt Susie and Anton was debonair in his tiny tux. This was the third time Ayla was a flower girl and second for Anton as a ring bearer. Ayla and Anton were both in Aunt Jodi's wedding and Ayla was also in our friend Zina's wedding.

When I was a little girl I served as a flower girl for the daughter of a couple who was the landlord of the apartment my parents lived in when I was a baby. Her maiden name was Nancy Rosco. Both Aunt Jodi and I were the flower girls, and our mother made our dresses. They were light blue velvet on the bottom. We had our hair put up all curly. I remember feeling like a princess that day. Like Ayla and Lindsey our only job was to drop rose petals down the aisle.

Flower girls have been doing this for thousands o
f years. Carrying herbs, wreaths, grain or garlic, these young girls would walk before the bride to bring prosperity, fertility and luck to the couple while warding away evil spirits. Nowadays the tiny girls, dressed either like a mini bride or mini bridesmaid, will drop petals along the path or aisle for the bride to walk on as a symbol of the lost of purity. These days flower girls are not necessarily dropping petals, but rather blowing bubbles or tossing confetti (does that mean you call them "bubble girls" or "confetti girls" then? Hmmm.) Lately there has been a new trend with the flower girl holding a sign that says, "Here comes the bride." When looking through a bridal magazine last fall, I saw that in one wedding the grandmothers of the bride were the flower girls. It was precious to see these women tossing petals before their granddaughter.

As for the ring bearer, that history, too, goes back hundreds or even thousands of years as jewels were presented before kings and queens on cushions. Over the years, couples got wise when rings ended up disappearing at the hands of their tiny ring bearers, and thus the cushions typically have fake rings tied to them. Of course, even the best man has been known to lose the rings.

Oftentimes the flower girls and ring bearer will steal the show based on how they do in their petal dropping efforts. Will they be afraid and not walk down the aisle? Will they actually drop the petals? Typically you hear a collective, "awwww" when the little ones process. As Anton started down the aisle at age 2 at Aunt Jodi's wedding, he stopped as soon as he heard the music and started to spin and dance. Everyone thought he was so cute, but he wasn't going anywhere. I walked up behind him as maid of honor and took his hand. He looked up at me with almost a "Hi, Mommy," and walked down the aisle with me. It is a precious memory for me of that day.

There is no hard and fast rule for selecting flower girls and ring bearers - or any rule that you have to have them at all. Typically flower girls and ring bearers are 3-8 years old. Any older and they can be junior bridesmaids or groomsmen. Any younger and you take the risk they won't do what they're supposed to do. A flower girl or ring bearer can be family members or children of dear friends. And while they can be super cute in a wedding party, remember they are little children and may not be 100 percent on board when it comes to their duties. They also tend to tucker out - especially the younger they are - when it comes to long ceremonies or celebrations. I have a picture of both Ayla and Anton sound asleep at Aunt Jodi's reception.

So necessary, no. Precious, yes. Whatever works for the couple!

Discussion: What are your thoughts about flower girls and ring bearers? Have you ever served as either? What was your experience like?

Prayer: Lord God, we thank You for little ones and their service in a wedding ceremony. We pray for courage for them and patience in their duties. We thank You that all of us are children in your eyes! In Christ our Lord, Amen.

Gently Correcting

The other day, Ayla shared a story about how Rob corrected her on something. She was frustrated, and Rob noticed her negative response and pulled her back to a place of clarity and understanding. He did it in a cute way, something Ayla really appreciated. In the sharing of this story she showed how they already are quite the team in the sense that Rob knew her well enough to see the direction she was going and could gently pull her back to where she needed to be.

That is something I greatly appreciate about Brad. He knows me so well that he knows exactly what to say or do to - in a sense - protect me from myself before going down the road to anger or frustration. And I likewise can do the same for him. But that blessing can also be a curse. Knowing what to say to kindly correct means you know what to say to bluntly or even cruelly correct or, sadly, aim to hurt. Since we have that intimate connection to one another, we have a responsibility to protect one another's hearts. Truth should always be said in love.

Both of you couples will correct each other a gazillion times in your marriages. Sometimes that correction will come at the height of frustration and thus will come out in the least kindly manner. Do your very best to remember this is the love of your life and to approach one another gently and lovingly with the intention to uplift, not tear down. If that means you need to walk away until you cool down, do it. If that means you need to pray first and ask the Father to prepare the heart of your loved one before you offer your suggestion, do it. If you are trying to help your betrothed be the best they can be, then be the best you can be. By the way, you will fail at this a bunch of times, cause the evil one loves to use those who love you most to hurt you most, so don't give him a foothold.

And if you are on the listening end of the correction, take it to heart. Ask yourself if there is truth in it and make changes. Scripture tells us in Proverbs 15:32b, "He who listens to reproof gains intelligence." Proverbs 9:8b-9 says, "Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning." Notice that the wise and righteous man (or woman) accepts reproof, instruction and teaching.

It is an honor to love and be loved so much that you can be close confidants and accountability partners for one another. So don't take advantage of that. Be kind, be sweet, be gentle, be encouraging and most importantly be truthful in love. Together you can hold one another up as you grow closer and closer to Christ.

Discussion: Share a time when your betrothed corrected you in a way that really helped you? Do you have trouble with correction? How do you feel when you are corrected harshy? How about when you are corrected gently?

Prayer: Father we thank You for the many patient and subtle ways You correct us. If only we paid closer attention to those moments. Lord, we pray we are attentive to hear You correct us and heed the gentle correction of others. We also pray we likewise are loving and truthful in our correcting. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Love Letters

In a red Pizza Hut gym bag in a burgundy trunk I took to college is every love letter Brad ever sent me during our college years. With no cellphones and long-distance calls costing so much, Brad and I wrote to each other as often as we could when we were apart at holidays or over the summer. Sometimes we wrote every single day. When I received a letter from my sweet beloved I would try to smell him in the paper, hold it close to my heart and ache to be with him. Some letters were pages and pages long and others were sweet little notes. One letter even included a cassette where Brad recorded himself for 30 minutes on one side and I recorded myself on the other. (Anton and Kayla got to hear part of this and we were all freaked out by how much Anton sounded like 19-year-old Brad). If you want to know about our love story, it's all pretty well detailed from Brad's point of view in that stack. I believe Brad has an equally large stack of letters from me. It's interesting for us to go back and read those letters. To learn what our priorities were, our outlook on life, our mushy, romantic words for one another and the details of our day to day lives. I cherish those letters. It's a unique step back in time.

Last year when I went to St. George Island with my sister for a week, Brad asked me to write him a letter every day and he would do the same. So each night before I went to bed, I wrote him a letter. We each had a nice stack to read when I got home.

In today's world, letters are becoming more and more a thing of the past. We have emails. We have texting. We have Facetime and Skype. And with Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, communication is immediate. So there is no need to write a letter. To Brad and I as writers, that is kind of sad. Letter writing is a lost art. Emails and texts are regularly deleted, never to be read again. Not that they have to be, but what a sweet memorial to love they are! To read about Brad's love for me in the years 1983-87 up to our marriage date and knowing how much more I feel it even today is pretty uplifting and precious.

When Brad and I have long gone, our children will have access to those letters. And I am sure they are filled with some pretty embarrassing comments from the two of us. Will they ever read them? Maybe not. But they will have in their hands a forever record of how their parents felt about one another from the very beginning, how they handled time spent apart, how they lived for the days they were together, how they handled disagreements and the sweet memories of a long and beautiful love story and journey. The question is whether our not they will be able to decipher the handwriting.

I guess we would encourage you to write letters to one another. They don't have to be lengthy, but they will be a sweet memory for you. Don't hesitate to be mushy and share your feelings, your memorable moments, your dreams and goals, your day-to-day activities and deep love for one another. It's something you can hold onto for a long time. Pen to paper - the written word is a tangible, historical moment in time. Praising God we both have them from one another.

Discussion: When is the last time you received a note or letter from each other? What do written letters mean to you?

Prayer: Father, Your Word is the most beautiful love letter of all and we thank You for it! That we have it to hold and read over and over again is such a gift. Thank You for the gift of the written word. We love you. In Jesus, Amen.

Prompted By The Heart

King David wants to build a temple for the Lord in his new capital city of Jerusalem. But the Lord tells him it will instead be his son, Solomon, who will do the honors. That doesn't stop David from collecting all the gold, silver, bronze, iron, marble, precious stones and wood he can get in preparation of the building. He even digs into his own "personal treasures of gold and silver for the temple of my God" (1 Chronicles 29:3). He was making an offering. Then he says to the Israelites, "Now, who is willing to consecrate himself today to the Lord?" (1 Chronicles 29:5). At t his point, the leaders of the families, officers and commanders of the king's army and officials that worked for the king, all stepped forward and made their offering likewise of gold, silver, bronze, iron and precious stones. 1 Chronicles 29:9 says, "The people rejoiced at the willing response of their leaders, for they had given freely and wholeheartedly to the Lord. David the king also rejoiced greatly."

There is another time when the Israelites dug deep in their offering for a building project. Back in Exodus when Moses was putting together plans for the tabernacle (a portable temple of the Lord), God told Moses, "You are to receive the offering for me from each man whose heart prompts him to give" (Exodus 25:2). We learn in Exodus 36 that the people went above and beyond in their offerings, so much so that the people were eventually told to restrain from bringing more, "because what they already had more than enough to do all the work" (vs. 7).

Scripture says "everyone who was willing and whose heart moved him came and brought an offering to the Lord" (Exodus 35:21). We are asked by God to give an offering. Matter of fact, in Malachi 3 we are told to give 10 percent. We talked about this last year on Nov. 7 in this blog. We told you about how blessed you will be if you give. But notice the key point here ... the condition of the heart. Is the heart prompted? Is the heart willing? We learn from Paul in 2 Corinthians 9:6-7, "The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully, will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." God wants us to give with joy back to the One who does likewise. If giving to the Lord is done reluctantly, how sincere is this gift? King David tells his son, Solomon, in 1 Chronicles 28:9, "the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts" and later reaffirms that statement when he sees the amazing response of the offering of the Israelites by saying, "I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things I have given willignly and with honest intent. And now I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you" (1 Chronicles 29:17).

We expect our children to give 10 percent of everything they earn to the Lord for the growth of His kingdom, but we want it to be given willingly, with joy to the Almighty. To reap bountifully, you must sow bountifully. We want to see you reap bountifully!

So check your heart. Are you giving with a cheerful heart? Are you giving at all? All that we have is His and He gives it to us in abundance. Praying you are doing abundantly the same.

Discussion: Do you give an offering? Do you think 10 percent is important? Do you find it hard to give out of what you earn? Would you be willing to test the Lord in giving (see Malachi 3:10)?

Prayer: Lord God we are humbled by everything you graciously give to us. Inspire us, Father, to give a portion back to you so that your kingdom can grow and your children be cared for. We know You are faithful. We pray our hearts are cheerful in giving as you do. In Jesus Christ who gave His all, Amen.

God Bless America

When I was a little girl, this long weekend was probably my most favorite time of the year. We went camping with all the cousins on my father's side of the family (and sometimes with a few from my mom's side, too) at one of several parks in Pennsylvania: Lauryl Mountain State Park, Pioneer Park or Fox Den Acres. We would swim, hike, play games and have campfires. I remember laughing so much on those weekends. We were there Friday to Monday then spent Tuesday at Kennywood amusement park for our school picnic. It was a pretty wonderful weekend year after year. To me, Memorial Weekend meant big fun. And for a lot of folks that is exactly what it's all about - with a little barbeque.

As an adult I can appreciate the long weekend like everyone else, but I have a greater sense of the sacredness of this holiday as well. It's a day set aside to remember the fallen on behalf of the free. And with my paternal grandfather, John H. Lauritzen, as one who gave everything for his country, it is all the more important to me. We live in the greatest country in the world thanks to him and the many, many men and women who died to protect our freedoms here. We are blessed indeed.

The Purple Heart

We don't ever want you to forget that. You get the honor of praying and worshiping as you like thanks to them. With so many Christians around the world under persecution in the countries like North Korea, China, Saudi Arabia, Yemen and so on, it is comforting to know we don't need to fear that. It came at a price. And we must never forget to protect those freedoms. Comfort can lead to complacency which can allow room for those who would desire to remove those freedoms.Know what it took to have what we cherish and strive to keep it that way.

We have no idea what the future will bring for this country during your lifetimes together. Cultural changes of late are taking what was once a country "under God" and stripping it of anything that resembles what He requires of us. And terrorist organizations inch ever closer to our shores. Be alert, as the evil one is prowling around seeking to destroy any evidence of the God even he believes in. We pray what the song lyrics say, "God bless America, my home sweet home." What a reunion it will be in Paradise when we can graciously say to the ones who loved and died for America, "Thank you!"

Discussion: What do you remember about Memorial Weekend growing up? Do you know someone who died while in service to our country? What does your freedom here mean to you?

Prayer: Lord God, we thank You for the freedoms we have here. We thank You for Your blessings on this country and pray for our leaders and servicemen men and women. Lord, I pray we always remember the sacrifice made for those freedoms. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

The Advocate

You may have seen folks at church this Sunday dressed in red. It's the color people wear for Pentecost, the religious season we celebrate 50 days after the resurrection of our Lord Jesus. Pentecost Sunday is the day God sent the Holy Spirit to descend like "tongues of fire" (Acts 2:3) on each of the disciples in that upper room. That day, the disciples got to experience first hand what it was like to have the Lord dwelling (or tabernacling) within them. Jesus tells the disciples in John 14:16 and 26 "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to help you and be with you forever. The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." Thanks to the Holy Spirit, we can understand Scripture, hear God's Spirit guide and direct us, gain wisdom and discernment and have a passion to share the Good News with others. The Holy Spirit helps us to speak on God's behalf and can even pray for us as Romans 8:26 tells us, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words."

This is a great day to celebrate. Very few people got to experience the indwelling Spirit first hand. Moses, Samson, Gideon, David, Elijah, Elisha and Micah were a few who enjoyed the blessing of the Holy Spirit. They witnessed miracles and saw evidence of God's mighty power. It is this same Spirit that we have within us this day, thanks to Jesus. The Spirit that sat enthroned in the Holy of Holies between the cheribum and above the Ark of the Covenant, now lives in us. We are blessed indeed and should be honored God has given us this great access. Yes, you can be witnesses to great miracles and see evidence of God's mighty power because the Spirit lives in you.

Tap into it. Be focused on the Lord. Remember that living is about exalting the Father and being in His presence. If you are open to listening to what the Holy Spirit has to say, you will gain much insight into God's plan for you both. If you allow the Spirit to work through you, you will do great things in His name together. Like the lyrics say in the Francesca Battistelli song Holy Spirit:

Holy Spirit, You are welcome here
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere
Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for
To be overcome by Your presence, Lord

Discussion: What does having the Holy Spirit living in you mean to you? Tell of a time when you felt guided by the Holy Spirit?

Prayer: Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17) and tomorrow Lord we will be remembering those who died for that freedom. We thank You for the Holy Spirit. We pray we stay tuned into Your Spirit and gain wisdom from it. We love you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. In Jesus, Amen.

Team Work

So Daddy and I were helping Anton get ready to fine tune his cover letter for a recent job opening when Kayla said to him, "Do you want me to go on home?" to which Anton strongly replied, "No, please stay here." Tone knew his father and I are pretty thorough editors (and sometimes come across too strongly) and knew he might be in for a "picking apart." He didn't want to face that battle alone. So sweet Kayla came into the tiniest room in our home with Brad, Tone and I, sat on the floor and provided moral support to our son as his letter and resume got a good combing through. There is no doubt Anton drew strength from his fiance sitting on the carpet listening. She provided him with wisdom, too, in Anton's frustration with the late hour. Anton told us she later said, "You know your parents love you and are trying to help you."

That was one of the most precious moments I have seen of this betrothed couple ... and I have seen many of them. To see her want to support him, encourage him, calm him, uplift him and love him, brought me so much peace and joy. To know that my baby boy (yes, he will always be that to me) was being loved so completely by another soul is comforting and reassuring to parents. While we never relinquish our love, that hovering protective instinct has to move out of the way as our son becomes head of his own household. So to know he's going to have an amazing partner in this life journey is truly a blessing for not just him, but us as well. When we hear about Rob having an amazing dinner waiting for our sweet girl after a long shift, it warms out heart. Our children are being loved.

Daddy and I are quite a team when we work together. We are stronger. When he is struggling, I remind him of who our Comforter and Counselor is, and when I am struggling, he is right there doing the same. I love him in the greatest possible way. I want to protect him, uplift him, encourage him, calm him and care for him. And I hate to be apart from him. I know Anton is dreading time he will be spending away from Kayla when she finishes her education next school year.

Recently I asked a friend about a relationship he is in. I asked, "Do you think you will marry her?" to which he responded, "I'm not ready for marriage. I like being single." This is a guy who obviously - at least at this point - is not ready for any "team" work as a couple. We know both of you couples see your betrothed as that perfect teammate in the adventure ahead. We encourage you to nurture and cherish it.

You will be each other's greatest cheerleaders, but understand you likewise will have the power to be each other's greatest antagonist as well, since you will know everything about one another intimately. So be careful not to abuse the connection you have.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing," and Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." So be that for one another. And know that we will always be right here - as long as the Lord give us breath in this life - to do the same for you. We love you.

Discussion: What qualities do you see in your fiance that give you strength? Share a time with one another when your fiance was a support to you.

Prayer: Father you tell us two are better than one as we can pick each other up when we fall (Ecclesiastes 4:10). We pray we will remember to be a source of strength, support and encouragement to one another. In Jesus name, Amen.

Sacred Space

When we visited our house when looking to buy it, I took one look at the woods over the hill behind the Z Shack and said, "I would love to make a prayer path back here, to just walk back in these woods and pray to Jesus." We've lived in this house six years and I've yet to create it ... for a couple of reasons. One, I've mowed down the area back there countless times, but nature has the edge on me and I just can't keep up with it. Weeds, new trees (not to mention poison ivy), they grow so fast back there I just can't stay on top of it. And two, there are supposed to be rattlesnakes back there, so I don't want to stumble across one of those. As a result, there is no prayer path in the back woods. As a matter of fact, we don't really use those woods for anything except collecting brush or dead trees for our fire pit.

Now there is a corner flower bed in the front of my yard near the driveway. When we first moved in, it had a tiny deteriorating wooden fence around it, few perennials some shrubs and trees. Since we've moved in, I have torn down the fence, pruned the bushes and trees and added azaleas, rose bushes, peonies, chrysanthemums and daffodils. I've also added annuals like zinnias, pansies and gerbera daisies. I mulch it every year with fresh pine straw. I weed it every day. I've added decorative cockle seashells. And I've placed two gray Adirondack chairs there for me and Brad. I use those chairs every morning when the weather is nice to do my Bible devotion and Brad will be out there every Sunday morning practicing his sermon. It's become a sacred space of worship.

So while my plans to change the back hill into a reverent place didn't work out, the bed out front has. It took work: weeding, tidying, mulching, planting and replanting to make it into what we wanted it to be. We didn't let nature get the better of us. We worked at it.

It's the same as marriage. If you want marriage to be a sacred place, you need to work at it. Tidying, planting, replanting, pruning and most definitely keeping the weeds out. Don't let the world get the better of you in this. And believe us, it will try. It will try to steal your time, your morals, your love and your patience. Stay on top of it. Be faithful in prayer and Scripture reading. Go to our Father for guidance. Be loving and forgiving. It is absolutely worth the time and effort it takes. Just don't ever make the mistake of thinking it doesn't. Make your marriage a sacred space of worship to glorify the Lord.

Discussion: Do you have a sacred space where you have some devotional time with the Lord? Did it take any work to get it to be that sacred place of worship? What do you think of the comment that marriage takes work?

Prayer: Lord, may we always seek our time in our day to praise and worship You and to seek Your guidance. And, Father, we pray our marriage is also a sacred space of worship. Help us to stay on top of keeping it that way. In Christ Jesus, Amen.

Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties

"There will be no strippers."

Yep, that was said at dinner the other night. Anton and Kayla were discussing bachelor/bachelorette party ideas. And that was repeated a couple times. Well, we would certainly hope that would be the case! If these marriages are all about glorifying God and being united in Him, then something so degrading and crass would never be part of such a celebration.

These parties were designed to celebrate the singleness of the betrothed before they get married. Typically the bridal party has these parties, although oftentimes friends are included. For some reason this celebration of singleness has dissolved into debauchery for lots of folks: strippers, drinking and whatever else that leads to is commonplace at such events. However, we, of course, know our children and those they associate with are far more classy. No one would want to give their betrothed any reason not to trust them at these kinds of events. Scripture says, "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit" in Ephesians 5:18; and 1 Corinthians 6:10 tells us that "revelers" will not inherit the kingdom of God. He doesn't want us to be foolish nor conformed to this world (Romans 12:2).


I didn't have a bachelorette party, unless you count the bridesmaid sleepover the night before the wedding. We had fun. Daddy had a golf outing with his groomsmen.

I know Daddy is planning on taking Rob out golfing the morning of the wedding with whoever would like to come along. And Cristina is preparing a party for Ayla (something about cocktails). Ayla has said repeatedly she wants a sash that says, "Bride-to-be" on it. I know Carter and Kayla are cooking up something for Anton. I haven't heard if Kayla has an idea for her party. She recently returned from a weekend with her maid of honor who was having her bachelorette beach weekend with her bridesmaids and I believe she had a similar celebration with her sister-in-law, Caroline prior to her wedding. By the way - don't ever plan your bachelorette/bachelor party the night before the wedding ... that is a night you definitely will want a good night's sleep.

So here are some ideas we found about bachelor/bachelorette parties. Note that some are more for the guys or girls.

• Sporting event
• Camping
• BBQ
• Spa Day
• Night of dancing
• Casino
• Wine tasting or cooking class
• Art, film or crafts festival
• Amusement Park (Disney anyone?)
• Fishing/Hunting
• Weekend getaway - think beach or sightseeing
• Paintball
• Geogaching - leaving wedding trinkets behind

So tweak away and enjoy your plans for your celebration with friends!

Discussion: What is important to you for your bachelor/bachelorette party? What are ways you can make memories without going the traditionally classless route?

Prayer: Father, may we always hold ourselves to a Your standard, make good choices, celebrate in a way that has integrity and grace and still have lots of fun celebrating together. In Christ Jesus we pray, Amen.

Feliz Dia De Casamento

Now we may have this wrong, but we thought Ayla once told us that Rob has some Portuguese in his background, so we decided to check into traditions from this country with regards to weddings.

Portuguese wedding ceremonies are very similar to American weddings. Two variations include: the officiant wrapping the wedded couple with his/her stole during the blessing (it symbolizes their unity, protection and faith); and confetti thrown at the newlyweds in the form of flowers or candy.

The reception has some unique traditions. Following the ceremony, the couple walks through the neighborhood streets where neighbors and strangers greet and give them well wishes. We'd compare this to walking around Disney's Magic Kingdom with "Just Married" buttons on as hundreds of staff and guests congratulate the couple. After the Portuguese walkabout, the couple then has a small dinner (Bacalhau - a wedding stew or plated dish of salted cod, potatoes, onions, tomatoes and olives) with family followed by cake and tea. As Portugal is renowned for their wines, there may be many toasts. The reception may also have dancing and singing. When the cake is cut, the couple take slices personally to their single friends as luck for them in love. Since the party can last all night long, oftentimes guests are served breakfast in the morning. A money dance - paying to dance with the bride - caps off the party. Sometimes the couple is pranked before leaving where their honeymoon luggage or their getaway car may disappear.

So that's the Portuguese way! Have fun picking and choosing what you may want to use! Feliz Dia De Casamento (Happy Wedding Day)!

Discussion: What are some Portuguese elements you would want to use for your wedding? How important are traditions to your wedding?

Prayer: Lord God, may these weddings and all their traditions keep the focus on You and inspire the guest to exalt your name. How beautiful are all your children of the earth. In Jesus, Amen.

Doubly Blessed Day

June is the most popular month to get married. According to US Census statistics, 10.8 percent of marriages take place in June. Second place goes to August with 10.2 percent. But what day is most popular? Most wedding statistic websites say the most popular day of the week to get married is Saturday. However, we could find zero stats to back that up. But it seems it is the common notion, and we're sure pretty accurate. Lots of folks are off on a Saturday, so it makes it easier for the couple, bridal party and guests to attend. After that, Friday is the most popular day, then Sunday.

So keeping those day and dates in mind, when wedding vendors set their rates, Saturdays in June, you'll find, will be the most expensive time to marry. The rates go down for less popular months and days, thus a Friday wedding or January wedding when only 4.7 percent of weddings take place, will cost less.

But here's a little fact you may not have heard about ... the most popular day for ancient Jewish weddings was Tuesday. This came from a book my husband read by Dr. James W. Fleming, an archaeologist and creator of the Explorations in Antiquities Center in LaGrange, GA (a place everyone should visit to see replicas of places and things you read about in the Bible). According to Fleming, Jews picked Tuesday to marry because it was the only day of the week in the book of Genesis where God "saw that it was good" twice. On that third day, God created the dry land and vegetation ... both good. Every other day, God saw that it was good once. So the Jews believe Tuesday was doubly blessed, therefore the best day to wed. Obviously this day didn't catch on as much in modern times as the day of rest everyone celebrated on the Sabbath or Saturday.

Ayla and Rob are getting married in October (half way down on the list of most popular wedding months) on a Friday (the less expensive option), and by God's grace on our wedding anniversary, the 16th. Only 150 days to go! Anton and Kayla have set their date for Saturday, Aug. 13, 2016. Whatever day, month or date that is selected, when the vows are said it becomes a blessed and sacred day, one to be remembered and celebrated for your lifetime on this earth. And, we believe, one that God will doubly bless as "good."

Discussion: What factors most come into play when selecting a day, month or date for you to get married? How much work did it take to select your wedding date?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for pronouncing all your creation "good." We glorify You in it and celebrate You at the center of it as in the center of all marriages. Lord God, please bless the day and date of the weddings for our children. May they be a testament to Your love and their commitment. In Christ Jesus, Amen.

Just Say Yay!

Someone is taking your picture and what do they tell you to say right before they squeeze the shutter? "Say cheese!" The thought is that by saying cheese your mouth will form something close to a smile. However, how many pictures do you have where someone is stuck in the "ch" part of that word? So, cheese is maybe not the right word to use. Aunt Jodi told me last year that instead you should say, "Yay!" Anton is going to wish this was buried for all eternity, but to get Anton to smile when he was a little boy, I just had to say, "boobs." I know that sounds crass, but he'd giggle every time. It would get to the point where all I'd have to say is, "What do we think about when we take pictures?" and he'd smile huge. You all may look at his grade school portraits a little differently now.

Since both of you couples will be having lots of pictures taken of you at these weddings and prior to, I thought it might be good to get some posing/smiling tips from the pros.

• I've heard this tip before, but not sure it is necessary for our folks. To avoid a double chin, put your tongue on the roof of your mouth as you smile.You can also tilt your chin up just a tiny bit and that helps, too.
• Avoid a head on shot which may not be flattering. Tilt down, up or to the side. Be careful of this, however, cause you don't want to look awkward.
• Hand on the hip - makes you look thinner, and we all want to look thinner. This is for girls only. Don't want to see Rob and Tone with their hands on their hips. By the way, make sure your elbow is pulled back and not sticking straight out. It's even more thinning and straightens your posture. Just don't gymnast pose it.
• Tilt your body slightly away from the camera. The angle will thin you. Stand straight. You can also put one foot forward pointed at the camera or cross your legs at the calf. Again this is thinning. What's really funny is googling celebrity photo poses and seeing one celebrity doing this same pose combined with the hand on hip over and over again. So it apparently works.
• If you want just a sweet smile, let your bottom lip rest at the bottom of your upper teeth. Don't smile too big or you can scrunch up your face and lose your eyes.
• Smize. If you are a Tyra Banks fan then you are familiar with the term. It means smiling with your eyes. Apparently your smile is more genuine when your eyes are smiling, too.
• In several places I read that you should practice your smile, make up, poses and hairstyle to make sure you are photographed for posterity the way you want to be remembered.

So there you go. Tips for the perfect wedding photos. So find something you can think about to make you smile huge (keep it classy) and don't say cheese.

Discussion: Have you ever practiced poses or smiles? What is something that gets you to smile every time?

Prayer: Father, you have made us beautiful in your sight. We pray for big smiles on these wedding days ahead and lovely photos to have in remembrance. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

With Sincere Thanks!

Little more than a week ago, Ayla had a bridal shower and Anton graduated. Both of our children received many gifts in these celebrations. Both have lists with the names and the gifts given so they can write thank you notes. I have trained my children since they were very little to show thankfulness for presents they have been given throughout their lives. It is important to acknowledge the generosity of others. And after bridal showers and weddings, there will typically be many gifts to be thankful for. So we thought we'd give a few thank you etiquette tips.

• Keep good notes as you are opening gifts so you know exactly who sent what. Write down details: specific brands, patterns and colors.
• Be sure to respond as soon as you can. People know that it will take time after the wedding to receive thank you notes, but don't take too much time. Give yourself four weeks at the most. The quicker you respond the better. If you receive gifts prior to the wedding, write those thank yous right away. People need to know you've received their gift.
• Be sincere. Mention the gift and what it means to you. If it is a monetary gift, you may want to share what you plan to do with it. You don't need to mention the amount of monetary gifts. They know what they gave.
• Only write a few at a time. Write a bunch in one sitting can be overwhelming and cause you to lose sincerity.
• If you remember something the guest said or did at the wedding or reception, include that as part of the thank you. It lets guests know you appreciated them coming and participating in your celebration.
• Be creative. Many couples now will shoot a picture of themselves on their wedding day holding a sign that says "Thank You!" which they will make in to thank you notes. You can also stick in a picture of you opening the gift if someone has taken pictures during that time.
• Split the duties. While often brides take on the thank you writing, it would be a beautiful gesture to gift givers to hear from the friend or family member closest to them, so the groom writing his friends and family and likewise the bride. If you can both sign each thank you ... even better.
• Be neat. You want your guests to be able to read what you wrote. 
• Don't forget vendors and guests who didn't give gifts, yet attended. They deserve thanks, too.
• You do not need to be wordy. Nor should you be brief. Sincerity is the key, so let your length and words reflect that.
• Send thank yous even if you thanked the guest in person. No email or social media thank yous.

Generosity of others is a blessed thing and deserves to be acknowledged. Gratitude is a sign of integrity and class on your part. And it will mean so much to the giver.

Discussion: How do you feel when you receive a thank you note? What do you like to hear in thank you notes? Who will write your thank you notes between you?

Prayer: You teach us to be grateful in all circumstances, and Lord we are so thankful to You. Help us to be mindful of the time and be gracious in our words to those who have been so generous to us. In Jesus name, Amen.

Friendships

Anytime someone who is on Facebook celebrates a birthday, a reminder notification pops up. It's a wonderful opportunity to wish friends far and wide a blessed birthday. A couple days ago - same day as Kayla's birthday - a notification showed up for my friend, Marlene Deatsch. Marlene was a line lady in food service at the University of Iowa. I worked with her for several years and just loved her to pieces. She was a like a mom away from home for me. When the notification popped up, I wished Marlene a Happy Birthday, but she will never see it. Marlene passed away in January 2013. I found out when I was getting ready to wish her a Happy Birthday on her Facebook page that year and noticed her granddaughter's birthday wish with a RIP next to it. I was startled and contacted her granddaughter to get confirmation. It was heartbreaking for me. I loved her very much. The last time I saw her was when she visited me in Tennessee the summer of 1992. I was pregnant with Anton and we spent the afternoon swimming in our apartment complex pool. We had a wonderful visit. She would live 21 more years, but I would never see her again.

I bring this up because I want you four to know the importance of the blessed relationships in your life, even the fleeting ones. You will have many, many people cross your path as singles and as couples. some will love you dearly. Others may not get along with you at all. That last batch, you can pray for and show compassion for, but the first batch ... you must cherish. Our world got smaller with the internet, allowing us to keep in contact with family and friends all over the world, and that is a blessing. But sincerely work on your face-to-face relationships. Our Father did not intend for us to be alone. He designed us to be a piece in His great plan, so in order for us to be effective at our part, He expects us to interact with His children. We love them, uplift them, correct them and tell them about Jesus.

Is there someone you haven't spoken too in awhile that means a lot to you? Write them a letter. Give them a call. Send them an email or text. Plan a visit. Let them know you were thinking about them. Are there people in your life currently that could be dear friends? Make the effort to reach out to them.Those who love you, love them fully. While it seems like you have the whole world ahead of you, our time here on earth is just a blip. So make dear friends and build up those relationships. These people will have your back and you will have theirs. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times." So be one.

Discussion: Who haven't you heard from in awhile? Who is someone you could send a little sunshine to today? What are ways to make and enrich friendships?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, we thank You for being our greatest friend and setting the example for how we are to love those around us. Nudge us this day to contact the souls we can uplift and encourage. Bless our friendships and let us not take advantage of those who love us. In Jesus, Amen.

Unchanging Constant

Anton and I rearranged the man cave two days ago. In order to give Daddy a bit of privacy office wise in Anton's bedroom, we moved Tone's TV and game console into the man cave. This require a complete in the room's dynamics. We switched around the furniture, books, tiny stadiums, pictures and the like to make the most of the space. Anton was nervous about the completed room. He was nervous because he knows his Dad hates change and he was worried about how he would react. He asked me if I would send him a picture of the changes to Dad's cell phone so that he would be prepared. My initial reaction was "no," but I decided to sent him two pictures anyways. His reaction: "Just as long as I can see the hummingbirds out the window." Not what either of us expected.

Brad does not like change. Don't change the furniture, don't change the routine, don't change his closet, move his books ... you get the idea. I proceed with caution when I make any changes, like rearranging rooms. He usually fusses for the whole first day, then realizes I've made good changes and gets in the swing of it. Just don't change it again.

While he's quirky in his desire to keep things the same, it is truly a blessing with regards to our marriage. He doesn't like change. He wants to keep me. And he brings that up any time I mention his frustration with any changes I make. But I do find comfort in his desire to stick with me in this spiritual journey called marriage, especially since so many folks give up on it. There are people all the time looking for the next best thing ... or trading in for a younger, prettier model. Thankfully, Brad likes this worn-in classic. He asks me all the time "Will you marry me?" and tells me how much he loves me all the time.

When Tone and I were driving yesterday back from the movie theater I said to him, "I love your fiance. Don't forget to tell her every single day how much you love her. Your Daddy does that for me, and it means the world to me." He said he has "Tell Kayla you love her" on a list of daily things to do. That is a beautiful thing.

So go ahead and change around the furniture. Get the latest and greatest technology. Try new things. But be uplifted in knowing you have this one unchanging, forever constant ... your marriage.

Discussion: How do you feel about change? How can you make your marriage fresh and new?

Prayer: Father we thank You that You are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. That gives us a foundation we can trust. We pray the foundation of our marriages are likewise something we can trust in. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Make A Memory

Today is Miss Kayla's 23rd birthday. We celebrated last night at Osaka (can I get a shout out for the Shaggy Dog?! Yum! Or should I say, Yum Yum!). She and Anton are celebrating today with a day at the zoo and the shooting range. I am thrilled that they are taking the time to make some memories on this day. I love making everyday a special memory, but especially celebratory occasions, like birthdays.

Daddy laughs at me for all the pictures I take but with my memory as bad as it is, having them as a memento of special occasions is necessary. And the more special occasions we celebrate the better! I'm not a YOLO (you only live once) person from a take risks standpoint, but I do believe in this short lifespan that it's important to make a bunch of memories and enjoy life to the fullest. We certainly did that last week between a bridal shower, graduation, race, baseball game and Mother's Day! I'm not sure we could have crammed in one more thing! But what wonderful memories we will have of that weekend!

So celebrate big. Go on adventures. Learn something new. Make a memory. We look forward to hearing about all the ways both couples embrace and find joy in this life.

Today is about Kayla Marie Lee completing another year on her life journey. And we thank God for her life and pray for many, many blessed years ahead! Have a wonderful celebration today and have fun making memories! Happy Birthday, Kayla!

Discussion: Do you like to make memories? How do you like to celebrate special occasions?

Prayer: Father, you give us 24 hours in each day. We pray we glorify You in them. We pray we enjoy Your beautiful world to the fullest and delight in the people you have had our lives intersect with. In Jesus name, Amen.

Sign In

There seems to be more and more clever ways to have guests "sign in" at your wedding. In our day, you had a white-covered book and a feather pen for guests to use to sign in at the reception. Nowadays there are tons of options. We have seen people use ink pads to press their fingerprint to a guest book or to use as leaves on a tree trunk or balloons and sign their names. I've seen butterflies on a background, a drawing of stacked books where folks signed them as titles and coloring tiny characatures on a page. We've seen a frame filled with tiny wooden hearts that have the names of all the guests on them. Signed stones in a jar. A map with tiny pins and the names of guests and where they are coming from for the wedding. Signing a matte around the picture as a guest book. Polaroids in the photo album. Petals on a giant flower. A wooden keg barrel signed by all. A Bible where people highlight their favorite verse and sign their name next to it. And scrapbook pages where folks can sign their names around pictures of the couple. There are lots of different ways people can sign in at the reception. I think Ayla and Rob and Kayla and Tone are planning on using multiple guest book ideas. I know Gaga got both girls a guest book for people to sign. I got Ayla a scrapbook. I know both girls were planning on having a Bible available to highlighting.

Your guests are special in that they will witness your covenant before God, so to have a collection of their signatures is a sweet way of remembering who all sat before the Lord in witness to the union. It's a responsibility on it's own to witness before God and a honor to be selected by the couple to do so. And remember God, too, is a witness. In Genesis 31:50 says "Remember, God is a witness between you and me."

We pray as you look back on whatever you've chosen to have guests use to sign in, that it will be a sweet reminder of the souls who made the journey to serve as witnesses and celebrate with you. Perhaps it too can be a reminder for you to pray for them.

Discussion: What are some clever guest book ideas you have seen? What is it you would like to do at your wedding? Why is it important to you to have a guest book?

Prayer: Lord we thank you in advance for the people who will be in attendance for both couple's wedding. We pray they take their witness very seriously. And we pray they come up with a precious and clever way to remember who all celebrates with them. In Jesus' name, Amen.

A Hole In The Middle Of Your Heart

Some have candy bars. Some have make-your-own sundae bars. It's Pittsburgh it's the ever popular cookie table. But for Ayla and Rob it will be a donut and coffee bar. An extra little snack for the reception - or in Ayla and Rob's case, during the "feast and merriment." Rob loves donuts. Ayla loves coffee. Thankfully the two go together beautifully. In honor of that perfect combo, a donut/coffee bar will be available for all the guests at the celebration of their marriage. And as all the Zimanek's love donuts, this will be a fun bar to have. Sprinkled, cinnamon, custard-filled, frosted, peanut-covered, glazed, fruity, dusted with powdered sugar (how a wish a Manderfield's turtle) ... doesn't matter what kind of donut, just a bunch of them.

You know when Ayla was a little girl she loved a different kind of donut. He was the Donut Man. His real name is Rob Evans. Dressed in overalls and a newsboy cap and hanging around with a cake donut named Duncan, he wrote and sang songs to help children learn the Bible. Ask Ayla to recite Philippians 4:13 and she will sing, ♫ I can do all things, all things, all things. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13. How many things can you do? All things! ♫ She can recite the first verse of the Bible to the dribble of a basketball thanks to the Donut Man. All his cassettes - yes, that's how long ago we listened to him - were fun and catchy. The Donut Man taught us that we were just like donuts, with a hole in the middle of our heart that only Christ could fill. Ayla got to meet him in 1994 and was thrilled to win a music cassette from him. I don't know if Rob Evans continues in his appearances as the Donut Man, but I am grateful for his ministry in that he knew just how to reach children for Christ.

So when we attend the "feast and merriment" after Ayla and Rob's wedding, it is appropriate that we celebrate by eating donuts. We do have a hole in our hearts that only Christ can fill. Symbolic and delicious, like donuts and coffee, a perfect blend.

Discussion: Do you know a Donut Man song? What is your favorite donut?

Prayer: Father, we thank You for Rob Evan's ministry. We thank You for songs that help us learn Scripture and Biblical principles. And we thank You for donuts. Lord Jesus, we also thank you for filling our hearts. We love you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Making Sense

"I love her," Ellis says to his father, William, about his girlfriend, Jenny (aka Adaline), in the movie The Age of Adaline.
"How do you know?" his father, played by Harrison Ford, asks.
"Because nothing makes sense without her."

It's a climactic scene in the movie that I watched with my mother, Anton and Kayla yesterday. A sweet love story with a bit of a twist, the words Ellis speaks on how he knows he loves Adaline/Jenny is pretty universal. I told both my children they would know they were in love when apart from their beloved their hearts would ache. Sure enough they both found people they feel that about. When I asked Anton how he was going to handle being away from Kayla when she was down at Troy now that he's graduated, he said, "We're not going to talk about that right now." He doesn't even want to think about it.

I have to say, while watching the love story in the movie unfold, I immediately began thinking about Brad ... how much I love him. Nearly 28-years later and I am still unbelievably in love with him. This is what we want for you. That your love story never ends. That any time you are apart, that you ache to be back together again. And that everything makes more sense because you are with your beloved.

"I am my beloved and my beloved is mine." (Song of Solomon 6:3) Praying as your hearts are intertwined with each other now and become so even more deeply in your marriage, that the feeling of connectedness and "making sense" grows ever stronger, more beautiful and fulfilling.

Discussion: How do you know you are in love? What makes sense now that you are with your beloved?

Prayer: My Lord God, we thank you for our betrothed. We thank you for fashioning them into the soul our hearts love. Lord, help us keep that connection to one another, that passion for one another in our relationship. In Jesus name, Amen.

Do Excellently

Today is Mother's Day, and I have been blessed to have gotten to spend time with both my children this past weekend between bridal showers and graduation ceremonies. I don't know if anyone understands, except another mother, how much joy we get from being with our children. When my kids are in the house, there is laughter, joy and gobs of fun times. I so enjoy when they are here.

I have commented often that I sure wish God would have included a note with each child as they are born that says, "This is mine. Please take care of this child for the next 18 years and teach him/her how to love me and how to teach others to love me. Then let them go to serve me." That might drive home the point to mommies and daddies everywhere that our time with our children is quite limited and to enjoy every moment of their growing up years. You don't want to waste or miss a second ... and it goes by soooo quickly. You don't think it does when you are up all night with a sick child or changing countless diapers, but trust me, it whizzes by.

I am grateful for my mother. She loves our God with a passion and wanted to make sure we all did as well. It is a foundation of child-like faith has had such an impact in my spiritual journey and prayer life. I can say with all honesty that her faith has absolutely made me, my husband and my children, not to mention the many others our lives have impacted, better. No doubt. I hope the youth I have taught and the people I have shared Christ with understand that part of their faith journey can be traced back to my mother.

You never know the impact you may be making on a person's life. And as parents - and followers of Christ - that impact is profound. I am praying both Ayla and Kayla will have the opportunity to be moms some day. Until then we can celebrate Thelma, Barbara, Irene, Marie, Laurie, Donna and all the grandmas and mamas out there who have given so much for their children. Proverbs 31:28-29 says "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband too, and he praises her: 'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'” While I pray both ladies will "surpass them all" as mamas, I pray all four of you will "do excellently." Keep the faith. Share the faith.

Discussion: Tell what kind of impact your mother had on your life. Tell about several other mentors that have shared or taught the love of Christ with you. How are you doing the same?

Prayer: Lord God, we thank you for mothers. Thank you for both their successes and challenges as they raise their children. Help all mother's seek your guidance on how to raise their children in faith. And help us all to reach out in love to tell others about You. In Jesus, Amen.

Persuasion

While sitting at the Biscuits baseball game, I asked your Daddy if I could blog on his iPad, to which he responded "If you kiss me first." I happily obliged, then commented, "I am going to blog on persuading your spouse though erotic methods." We both giggled. I can't tell you how many times I haven gotten a "no" to something, flashed him and then got a yes. Here's the thing, he has never said, "Oh no, that won't work on me." Do I really think I can use that to persuade him? Um, yeah, sometimes. But honestly, like me enjoying the kiss, I think he finds the "persuasion" endearing. But - and this is huge - manipulating your spouse is not a good idea. It dances around honestly and integrity, and trivializes something that is genuine and pure. So while Daddy and I may tease each other we sincerely respect each other and would never withhold sex or love to force anything or use things like that to truly change what the other wants to do.

There is a scene in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the daughter is hoping her father will approve a choice she is making. She works with her mother and aunt to try to persuade her father to agree to her choice. The mother comments to to daughter that she doesn't need to worry ... that she will handle it. Her comment is "The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases." Men are certainly the head and like to make decisions for their family, and there is some truth that the woman has the power of persuasion to change his mind or tweak his choice, but you need to be very careful about your intentions. Be care to ask yourself if your motives are for selfish reasons or a blessing to you both.

Even better, pray before either of you makes any decisions at all. That way you will be honoring one another.

Discussion: Have you ever used a sneaky method of persuasion on your betrothed? What do you think of the quote from My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

Prayer: Father, we pray our intentions towards one another are honoring and a blessing to one another. May we think of each other in the highest regard before trying to persuade each other to our point of view. In Jesus name, Amen.

Future Filled With Hope

What a special day this is! Today our son is graduating from college! He has worked so hard during these last four years for his Sports Management degree and is ready to move into the next stage of his life. Most outstanding student in the Troy University Hospitality Sports and Tourism Management School, graduating with honors, 3.8 GPA, working two jobs as a Resident Assistant in the Honors Cottage and with Sports Media ... we are so proud of him. It is this dedication to working hard to achieve success that we admire in our children. And we are thankful that this ethic is something utilized in all areas of their lives ... as it should be.

We have talked a few times in this blog that we are each gifted with talents and required by our Father to use them for His glory. God expects us to go full throttle in this life to make the most of every moment, work hard, be faithful and a person of integrity and to be obedient to His Word. He has a plan for us and guides us on this path of life. And we fully expect our children and future son and daughter-in-love to do likewise simply because that is how they continue to live our their lives right now.

There is a wonderful song by the Sidewalk Prophets called The Words I Would Say which I  believe has the greatest graduate advice of any song I've heard ... and honestly the best advice for anyone who steps forward in faith The chorus says this: 

Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope.
You're gonna do great things, I already know
God's got his hand on you, so don't live life in fear
forgive and forget, but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray, These are the words I would say

One year prior to celebrating graduating high school seniors at Trinity UMC, I wrote a song called All Planned for the youth. It is based on Jeremiah 29:11, a verse often quoted in graduation greeting cards,which says, "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." The song lyrics say this:

New beginnings, untread paths; future goals that seem so vast
Excitement, courage, doubting, too. Unsure about His plan for you.
Several missteps, vacant dreams, struggling with our self-esteem
Unexpected trials and twists, unprepared for all of this
While dreams and plans may intersect, it’s still the Lord directing steps
And if we let the Spirit lead, our purpose will in Him succeed

We’re fearfully and wonderfully made.
Known before the earth’s foundations laid
It’s faith in Him who made us all in kind
He’s designed it all and planned with us in mind.

Trusting, waiting, hoping, praying

He knows the plans He has for you
They’re plans to grow and prosper you
You’ll have a future filled hope.
And when you call upon His name
Just pray and find Him once again
If you will seek with your whole heart
He’s had it all planned from the start 

These are the words we would say to not just our son, but to all four of you as you step forward in your life journey's together. Do great things and remember to Whom all the glory belongs! Congratulations, Anton. We praise God for you today and rejoice with you and celebrate who you are!

Discussion: What are you dreams for the future? What is the best advice you've been given about new adventures in life?

Prayer: Lord, all glory and honor belong to you. Father, we know our futures are in Your hands and You know the number of our days all all we will accomplish. We ask for Your guidance in directing our paths. Let your Spirit forever guide our steps. In Christ Jesus we pray, Amen.