Created By God

The U.S. Supreme Court last Friday took it upon themselves to redefine the word marriage. No longer is it civilly between a man and woman, but rather between any two committed adults. I read an article after the ruling which said marriage has been evolving since the beginning of time and this was just the next step. Just makes me wonder what the next evolutionary step is after this.

See, here's the thing, marriage was created by God, something the writer of the above article failed to clarify. He designed it at the beginning of time when He said, "a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Christ affirmed this in Mark 10:7 and Matthew 19:5. Man and woman. It's man that changed marriage. Changed it where a husband would take multiple wives and concubines. Changed it where couples could divorce ... and even divorce again. Changed it where man could wed man and woman wed woman. Man changed marriage. God didn't change a thing.

Christians who believe in the Word of God walked into church disheartened Sunday, wondering "What do we do now in a world that changes God's rules." Well, we've been living in that world a long time. Man has been changing the rules since God made them. Here is what we do now ... we adhere to the Word. We remember that God is sovereign. We remember that Christians do not pick and choose which commands they should follow and decide which sins are truly sins. We are not the Creator. We don't make the rules.

My children, the world will continue to change the rules. We pray for you and your children and your children's children that they will love God so much that obedience to Him will be the most important thing in their lives. That Christ's last command in Matthew 28:19-20 - "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you." - will be our first priority, as we saw on a church parking lot sign Sunday. May you be strengthened as this world continues to evolve whatever else it wants to evolve knowing that God does not change (Malachi 3:6) and His Word will not pass away (Luke 21:33).

Discussion: What does God's unchanging nature mean to you?  What are your thoughts on the court's decision? What does God's definition of marriage mean to you?

Prayer: Father, we praise Your name that You do not change. We thank You for Your Word and pray we are obedient to it. Help us to remember we are to love one another in Your name. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Glücklich Hochzeit Tag!

Since Miss Kayla has some German in her, and Anton studied the language in high school, we decided to look into the different German customs for weddings. Some of them are similar to others we've already discussed.

In the years leading up to the wedding, the bride will collect pennies which she will use to buy her wedding shoes.

In Germany there is a civil ceremony that takes place before the church wedding, because it's illegal to only marry in the church (could be America's future).

Plate smashing takes place the night before the wedding. It's called the Polterabend which means basically "the evening of broken porcelain." Breaking glass is considered bad luck. Apparently lots of broken plate pieces means lot of good luck. Sadly the bride and groom have to clean it all up.


The bride carries a white ribbon in her bouquet, then after the wedding hands out white ribbons for folks to tie on their radio antenna for a car procession after the ceremony. She also sometimes carries bread and salt with hopes of a good harvest and the groom will carry grain for wealth and good fortune.

Engagement rings are on the left hand and wedding rings are worn on the right hand.

After the wedding, guests throw rice at the couple. Every grain of rice left in the brides hair indicates how many kids she will have (so if you want less kids, I'm guessing avoid sticky hairspray). Flowers will sometimes decorate the hood of the car. Then the wedding party will driving around in their cars and honk their horns. People will honk back as a "good luck."


At the reception there will be speeches, a feast and dancing. The meal includes Hochzeitssuppe, a wedding soup of beef, dumplings and vegetables. During the wedding toast, the couple drinks from the brautbecher, which is pretty clever. The dual cup (either pewter or crystal) features a bride holding a small cup over her head. The top cup swivels and the couple must drink from at at the same time: the groom from the bride's dress on bottom and the bride form the small cup on top. Whoever finishes first will be the head of the household. Usually the bride wins as her cup is smaller. The couple's first dance is usually a waltz. Sometimes there is a newspaper made about the couple and given out to guests.

While folks here sometimes trash the car of the wedded couple, in Germany they pull pranks on the honeymoon suite. Sometimes stripping the bed or taking it apart, filling the room with balloons, or hiding several set alarm clocks in the room. Good reason to not tell anyone where you are spending your wedding night.

Lots of fun ideas to implement. Pick and choose what you like. Glücklich Hochzeit Tag! (Happy Wedding Day!)

Discussion: Were their any German traditions that peaked your interest? Which are definitely not an option?

Prayer: Lord God, each country or culture has such unique and fun options for a wedding. How fun to include the different parts. May You be glorified in each and every part. We pray this in Jesus, Amen.

What Is The Question?

The other day a former coworker posted a video that made me giggle. It showed two little sisters attempting to dance the Macarena. When one got a little sidetracked in her dancing, the mom corrected her daughter to which she responded, "Really, Mom? You need Jesus." Another friend commented on the post: "That is always the right answer!" It made me think back to when I would do candy trivia with my Sunday School kids. When one of them didn't know the answer to the trivia question, they would inevitably say, "God? or "Jesus?" as their answer. I always made me chuckle, especially when used over and over again.

Yes, we do need Jesus, and yes, Jesus is the answer. But then you have to ask, what is the question? And why do we need Jesus?

So here's what I think the question and answer to the above in one sentence is: What will save me from myself? That's the question that Jesus is the answer to and why we need Him.

You will not be able to lead a sin-free life. You know, Benjamin Franklin actually tried this. He was in his 20s and decided he would live a life of moral perfection. Yes, of course, he failed. He wrote this in his autobiography:

"I wish’d to live without committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into. As I knew, or thought I knew, what was right and wrong, I did not see why I might not always do the one and avoid the other. But I soon found I had undertaken a task of more difficulty than I had imagined. While my care was employ’d in guarding against one fault, I was often surprised by another; habit took the advantage of inattention; inclination was sometimes too strong for reason. I concluded, at length, that the mere speculative conviction that it was our interest to be completely virtuous, was not sufficient to prevent our slipping."

It was his intention to do this from a non-religious standpoint. He wanted to write a book on "The Art of Virtue" to hopefully show that it was achievable and to even create a a sect of folks who would adhere to 13 virtues (the last of which was humility and was described thusly: "Imitate Jesus and Socrates" - I find it comical that Socrates was put on the same level as Christ). Franklin soon learned he didn't have the time nor fortitude to complete his project, but he did strive to reach the goals throughout his lifetime and said it made a difference in his manner. But he couldn't live the moral life. He couldn't live sin-free. Christ is the only one who has ever done so.

I am impressed by Franklin's undertaking. And, frankly, we should all be striving every single day to live the moral life. Striving to be sin-free. But we need to know: 1) we are incapable of sinning, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23); and 2) that there is an answer. The same we said above: Jesus Christ. "But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) and "because if you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9).

My precious children, I pray you will work every day at living a life in imitation of Christ ... toward one another and toward everyone else in this world. Know that you will fail, and do so repeatedly. But Jesus is the answer. And you do need Him ... every single day.

Discussion: Try going one day without sinning. How successful were you? What proved to be your undoing? How is Jesus the answer for you?

Prayer: Father, we do need You. We need Your Holy Spirit. We need Your Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. We pray we continue every day to work at being more like you. Help us not be discouraged. Thank you for Jesus. In His name we pray, Amen.

The Centerpiece

You know when you go to a restaurant or dining event and you're sitting across from someone and can't see them because there is an excessively tall or wide centerpiece right in front of you? You eventually get exasperated at leaning to the left or right to see the person, so then you move the centerpiece, or if that doesn't work, remove the centerpiece. Can't tell you how many times I have done this to see the people.

You will have an opportunity to create centerpieces for tables at your reception. A simple vase with flowers or an elaborate bouquet? A selection of votives or a candelabra? Buckets, baskets or mason jars? Confetti, shells or petals? Birdcages, balloons, topiaries? Centerpieces are the focal point of the table. They sometimes provide additional mood lighting to the festivities. They can be something personal to the host with framed photos, quotes or verses. The dictionary says the centerpiece is "the most important part of something" and that it should be impressive ...a statue in a garden, a picture on a page ... decorations in the center of the table.

But be careful that impressive doesn't mean overdone, lavish and blocking views when it comes to centerpieces on a table. We have seen some huge bouquets of flowers up on a tall thin pedestal so people can see each other. I saw another in a wedding magazine with a ginormous circular flower arrangement hanging above the center of the table with roses dripping down from it. It looked like it could fall and crush the guests! While large, elaborate floral centerpieces can be impressive, know they are also expensive. Anytime you have more flowers the cost goes up. Centerpieces can be impressive without being expensive. It require taste and simple sweetness, which can be equally beautiful.

If the centerpiece is "the most important part of something," and we know that Christ is that most important part of our relationship, perhaps the focus needs to be more on Him. That doesn't mean religious paraphernalia on the tables. It just means worry less about impressing others and more about impressing Him.Then whatever is there will be lovely, significant to the couple and pleasing to the guests.So have fun selecting what is unique to you, your colors, theme and design esthetic. And may the centerpiece of your wedding, reception, marriage and life always be Christ, "For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:36

Discussion: What have you thought would be nice for your wedding reception centerpieces? Tell about a centerpiece your liked. One you disliked. What is something that shows your life is Christcentric?

Prayer: Father in heaven, we thank You for Jesus and that He is the centerpiece of our life. We thank You for creativity in decorating. And we pray people will know just by seeing us who comes first in our live. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Weed Be Gone

While walking the other day, I giggled when I looked down at the sidewalk. This particular sidewalk was around a vacant lot. It was cracked, but you couldn't really see the cracks because they were filled with weeds.I was just hoping I wouldn't trip over them. As your Daddy knows, it takes a lot for me to just walk over those weeds and not just start yanking them out or at least running to grab my weed sprayer to kill them. It reminds me of that quote in the movie Jurassic Park where Jeff Goldblum's character warns the dinosaur geneticists, "Life finds a way." If there is a crack in the ground, weeds will grow. They always do.

It's the same with our lives. If there is even the slightest crack in our spiritual armor, weeds will grow. And if you continue to let them grow, they get even worse. For example, that one cuss word you utter. Just that one, opens the door for others to flow through. That one little white lie can lead to many, many more. Gossiping a little leads to gossiping a lot. Satan is desperately looking to get a foot hold (Ephesians 4:27). He is prowling, Peter tells us, like a lion looking to devour us. (1 Peter 5:8)

There is a reason why Paul uses armor as an example of our spiritual life in Ephesians 6. Armor for the warrior covers all the vulnerable parts that could lead to death: head, heart, internal organs, sometimes even the full body like arms and legs of medieval knights (I chuckle thinking of them trying to walk). But there are weaknesses even in those full body armor suits. Necks, under the arms, behind the knees. Wherever there's a crack, that is where the archers would aim. Satan, too, is looking for the cracks. So Paul warns us to have the helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, belt of truth, shield of faith and good news shoes on while holding the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. Salvation, righteousness, truth, faith, the Word ... that is our armor! And we must be fully covered to be fully safe.

My dear children, know that every single day Satan is looking for your weaknesses. Every. Single. Day. How can he pull you from the Father? How can he get you to fail? Even just a little, because that just gives him an easier opportunity to get you to fail faster and harder the next time. The battle is on. He will try to get you to sin. Your whole marriage long, he will be working on you. How can I tempt them to ... ? He's got thousands of years of experience at temptation, and his success is epic. The Bible is full of relatable stories of failure. We are not immune to temptation. Even Christ was tempted. However, with God's help we can defeat it. Notice that with Christ, it was the Word He used in His defense. So meditate on it, memorize it, read and study the Word and let it become part of you ... so that there are no cracks for Satan to find.

When I got home from my walk, I saw a teeny tiny little weed growing near my front door and to its left an even tinier one. I grabbed the larger of the too and instantly pulled it out. But the tinier one,I couldn't get a grip on it. Just days later, that weed was a full blown plant. That's all it took. Yes, I got a good hold of it and yanked it out, but I noticed a tiny bit of the root was still in there. It will be back. So see to it when you are armoring up, if you already have some weeds, don't just pull out what's at the surface. Get to the root of it and destroy it. Or it will attempt to come back.

Arm yourself. Weed out the bad. Get to the root of it. Get it before it gets you. You will save yourself much heartache, confusion and deeper sin by prevention, protection and a good thorough weeding.

Discussion: Are there weeds in your life that need pulling? What are some areas where you need some spiritual armor strengthening? Can you share a story where you let a "weed" grow in your life and its consequences.

Prayer: Sometimes, Father, we don't notice at first the evil that is lurking and successfully creeping into our lives. Give us your Holy Spirit incite to catch those moment and eliminate the temptation from our lives. Give us courage, strength and perseverance. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Let The Morning Bring Me Word

I try to imagine Christ sitting in my kitchen tapping his fingers on the table watching me as I walk back and forth. Watching me throw in one load of laundry, put out the garbage, grab a bowl of cereal ... waiting for me to just be still and know that He is God. To visit with Him. To share my thoughts, hurts, fears, worries and joys with him. To hear, through His word, what He wants to share with me today. There are some mornings when Christ would be left sitting there all day tapping his fingers waiting. And that's a tragedy. Think of all I'm missing.

A friend tweeted a meme the other day saying the five people you most hang out with are the ones who influence you the most. The meme was designed to get you to think about who your friends are? If they are negative and bitter, are you becoming likewise? If they are gossipers, are you also? If they make poor choices, are you following that example? And contrary to that, if they are enthusiastic, loving, encouraging, are they inspiring those traits in you? As soon as I saw the meme, I thought about those I most hang out with. The first name that came to mind was Christ. And I praise the Father for that. While I may let the busy-ness of my day or my distracted thoughts to take away from time I could and should be having with Him, for the most part, I try to make sure my life revolves around my Lord. And I pray His influence shows. And shouldn't we all have our Lord as one of those top five?

Not everyone has time each day to spend a portion of their mornings in devotion. Nor would we say you absolutely should. But we would certainly encourage it. A time of prayer. A time of Bible reading. Mornings are not my best time of day. I'm a late afternoon gal. Everything kicks in and I'm at the top of my game. You want me to complete a project at peak efficiency with the greatest results, have me do in the afternoon into the night. That said, I still make time nearly every morning for my Father. I have to make the time, because if I'm honest, I'm brain sluggish, have stuff to do and want to get started on my day. But then really, is there any better way to get started? Some folks say their devotion time is right before bed, which is great cause then you're sleeping all filled with the Word. But shouldn't our day begin that way as well? Before our feet hit the floor in the morning, give your day to our Father. Have your Bible sitting right there on your nightstand to reach out and grab His Word for your day. Even if it's just a bit, it's better than nothing at all. Let the Word fill you for the whole day.

I am sitting here writing this in the morning. Eyes half open, sun barely up, bed recently made. I've not had breakfast, coffee or even my devotion time with the Lord (unless you count this). So perhaps, my "not an early riser" comments above should be tweaked a bit. Because with the right motivation (my sweet, precious Father in heaven) you can do good things even during the times of the day that are typically your sluggish times.

Who are you spending time with? How are they influencing you? Can we encourage you, our dear children, to set time aside every single day for God? Psalm 143:8 says, "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." In Revelation 3:20 it says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me." He's waiting. If you can give Him just a few minutes of your morning, you will find you become addicted to Him. You may find you cannot begin your day without that time. And then you may end up giving Him a few more minutes and then a few more. Give it a shot. We promise it will bless you, your relationships and your day in abundant ways.

Time for my morning devotions. Jesus is waiting.

Discussion: Do you spend time each day in prayer or reading God's Word? Do you pray together? What is a good time for your devotions? Have you tried giving Him a bit of your morning?

Prayer: Good morning, dear Father Almighty! Glory to you! Thank you for your Holy Spirit to teach and guide us this day, and we pray my focus is on you this entire day. Help us to remember to carve time in our day just to spend time with You. Bless me to be a blessing to others through your Word. Holy, holy, holy are You! In Jesus, Amen.

The Constant

A year ago today, Rob and Ayla got engaged at sunset on the Grand Strand in Garden City Beach, S.C. This place has a special significance to our family because we have spent many vacations there. My mother's best friend, Carole Filtz, owns the condo, and we've been blessed to stay there, explore the area thoroughly and make memories to last a lifetime. For Rob to select this location to propose to our daughter and add just one more precious memory to this place - where Brad and I spent our honeymoon - is endearing to us. When Rob and Ayla were selecting a wedding date that would work around their culinary schedules and the heavy tourist seasons of Florida, October was one option. The fact that they selected our wedding anniversary for their wedding date again brought us so much joy and honor. But I remember Ayla commenting how far away October seemed. I said to her, "It will fly by, you'll see." Now we are less than four months away and it has certainly flown by. And we are saying the same thing to our son lamenting the fact that his wedding date is just under a year away.

This has been quite a year for Rob and Ayla. Both with a new job or promotion, car problems, a residence change, loss of a loved one, new adventures and discoveries, bumps in the spiritual road and growth as well, new achievements, new friends and lots and lots of planning. And they have exciting adventures ahead with their marriage, honeymoon and new residence together. It is amazing what can happen in one orbit around the sun. When I look back in old photo albums, it amazes me all the wonderful things we have seen, experienced and enjoyed. Even the challenging, scary and sad events have grown us each year. Praising God amidst all change and the passage of time, that we - like the constant of having a familiar condo vacation spot each year to return to - have one particular Constant forever in our lives, and that is Christ.

He doesn't change. He doesn't leave us. He loves, listens, forgives and guides us. Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever," and Psalm 62:7 says,"In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God." How blessed we are to know that each and every day we have our Father in heaven, our Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit as a constant. Praise His name!

We congratulate Rob and Ayla on the anniversary of their engagement and get more and more excited each day as we get closer to your wedding. May you each be a precious constant to one another throughout your earthly lives! God bless you both, the days leading up to your nuptials, the wedding, reception, honeymoon and your marriage!

Discussion: Share a specific memory of this past year? How has it changed or grown you? What advice would you have for couples with long engagements? How has God shown He is a Constant in your life?

Prayer: Father God, we thank You for what you accomplish in us each year. We thank You for this time of preparation for Rob and Ayla, Anton and Kayla and all engaged couples as they prepare for a lifetime of loving each other. May they, Father, always rest assured that You are there with them. We love you so much. In Jesus, Amen.

The Secret Recipe

The other day I was reading a blog posted by one of Ayla's childhood friends named Lea Rackley Ehret. Lea is of the best writers I've come across, and has been since she was little. She is hilarious, brilliant, has a near photographic memory and a masterful manipulation of words and descriptions. You cannot help but be uplifted when you read anything she's written ... even a recipe. This post in her blog Hey There, Wonder was dated June 15, 2014 about her father ("100 Reasons Why My Dad Wins At Being A Dad"). While I know her dad, Lawson, I am pretty sure anyone who doesn't know him would enjoy reading all her ruminations and blips about his various character traits. But there was one thing that stood out to me above all the rest (even number 58 which I am still giggling about) and that was number 29. She writes:

 "When my mom got the car she drives now, my dad had said, 'I love seeing her this happy. She's like a kid on Christmas.' I was 19 at the time, and I remember thinking that that was it, that was the secret recipe, the special sauce, to what had been a generally warm fam life. Our parents just want to see each other happy."

I thought about that afterward with such warmth. Of course, that's the secret recipe! Who wouldn't fall desperately in love with their spouse over and over again if said spouse was all about making you happy?

Now before I get a bunch of comments like "Good gracious, it's impossible to make someone happy all the time," or "That's not my responsibility," look at from an agape standpoint. We are called to love unconditionally as God does. Isn't making the effort to see to your beloved's happiness all about that agape love? We're not talking spoiling someone with material things, and I don't think that is what Lea meant. We're talking about loving in all aspects from comfort, to care, to grace, to forgiveness, to laughter, to making memories ... to gifts. 

Your sweet beloved will be the soul you will spend the rest of your life with. God has chosen this one to be your teammate, helpmate, partner, supporter and encourager and likewise you for them. Romans 12:10 in the New Revised Standard Version says this "Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor." Other versions state that last part this way, "In matters of worldly honour, yield to one another" (Weymouth New Testament); "Excel in showing respect for each other" (God's Word Translation); "Showing eagerness in honoring one another." (New English Translation); and "Honor one another above yourselves." (New International Version). You get the point ... your beloved deserves to be loved and honored. Now know that verse is not for married couples. That verse is for all Christians toward everyone around them. If Paul was asking the Romans to do that for everyone around them, how much moreso should we do for our spouse? 

I, like Lea, am convinced that's the secret recipe, something that originated with the Father himself. Christ says, "I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10) If our groom, Christ, wants His beloved bride, the church, to have an abundant life, shouldn't we as spouses do the same?

Out do one another in love. Could be quite a fun challenge to do!

Discussion: Do you think it is possible to make one another happy? What are some ways you have made each other happy? 

Prayer: Father, you have set the bar high for all of us in loving. We pray we strive to reach it in out doing not just our beloved in loving, but also all Your children around us. We have much to do to achieve that. Give us an extra Holy Spirit blessing to love with Your great passion. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Compatibility Quiz

When we were out to lunch yesterday, celebrating Father's Day with Kayla's family, we started talking about marriage counseling. Kayla's brother, Tommy, started sharing how he and his wife, Caroline, took a 300-question compatibility test during their counseling. My eyes bugged out. "Did you pass?" I asked. "Well, we're married." So I guess they passed. Tommy explained questions asked them about issues like finances, children and household chores. It was to get you thinking about what your expectations were entering marriage. Caroline explained there is even a test for couple's who've been married for years.

So, of course, as soon as I got home, I decided to look online for one of these tests and take it. It asked questions about politics, interests, religion, sex, money, children, travel, arguments, friends, change, celebrations (like holidays and birthdays) and morality. I was the only one to take the test, so I was representing us both in my one-sided view. The result? "You have a predominately sound and healthy relationship." It said we might need to discuss complicated issues in depth before letting them escalate to arguments. Good advice and pretty accurate on our marriage from my point of view.

But the test brings up an interesting point. Coming from different cultures, backgrounds, discipline experiences, religion, education, locations and the like can influence personality and opinions. And when you are dating, engaged or even married, you may not consider your beloved's political points, way they want to raise children, how they celebrate holidays or how to handle arguments. This is something that is good to speak about the sooner the better. You don't want to get deeper into your relationship and discover you have a major incompatibility issue that needs working on. Now obviously, because you couples are engaged, you've pretty closely examined many of the above issues and know much about each other. But others, you may not have as detailed of an understanding.

So rather than reinvent the wheel, we did a little digging to find some Christian compatibility tests for you both to take. You can check out all the links or one. As believers in more wisdom can only help, it couldn't hurt to check out a few, see if they get some conversations going and prayerfully consider each issue. Be honest when you take the tests. Don't answer what you think your future spouse would want to hear. Little issues can sometimes turn to big issues, so it's better to consider these things early on. Links are below. Have fun!

• Christian Marriage Today -Various tests on Biblical marriage, sex and preparations for marriage.
• Marriage Helper - To guide couples in deepening their love.
• Family Education - Are you a match made in heaven?
• Soul Mates By God - External qualities for compatibility.
• Quiz Rocket - How compatible are you?

Discussion: Have you ever taken a compatibility quiz before? Do you think you are compatible? What should you do with results of such a test?

Prayer: Father God, we thank you for the differences in our lives. Bringing two people together, we may have differing views on many things, some which could shape various aspects of our lives together. We pray we discuss these issues thoroughly and go to you for guidance. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Father, Hero, Mentor, Friend

Recently I posted a video on Facebook by the Skit Guys titled "Fatherhood: What's It Like Being A Dad?" It shares one man's encounters with his children through various facets of life, precious moments, heartbreak and teachable times. I posted it for my sweet hubby since he is such an amazing dad. Of course, Brad typically doesn't like to watch videos, so I had to call it up and hand it to him on my phone to watch it. I knew he would be touched by it and sure enough, tears were flowing when it came to an end. It's because the moments highlighted in this video are relatable to every dad. 

Today is Father's Day, and it's my hope that one day both Rob and Anton will get to be daddies. I think I can speak for Brad and say it is one of the most rewarding, challenging, stressful, blessed jobs there is. It's got a responsibility that's invaluable, as study after study has proven the importance of dads in the lives of their children as role models and educators. A son learns from his father the way to be a good one ... or, interestingly, how to avoid being a bad one.

Brad has worked very hard to be a good father. He has searched the Scriptures for God's direction. He has read books on how to be a godly man and father like "How To Raise A Modern Day Knight" by Robert Lewis, "A Man After God's Own Heart" by Jim George,"7 Men" by Eric Metaxas, "For Men Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, "The Resolution For Men" by Randy Alcorn, "Better Dads, Stronger Sons" and "The Power Of A Man" by Rick Johnson, "Quiet Strength" and "Uncommon" by Tony Dungy, "15 Minutes Alone With God For Men" by Bob Barnes, "The Man In The Mirror" by Patrick Morley,  and "Coach Wooden: Seven Principles That Changed His Life and Will Shape Yours" by Pat Williams among others. He takes the Bible at heart when it says in Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." He wants to be the father God expects him to be. And all he's learned shows in his behavior toward our two children. Both of our kids are very close to their father. They respect him, enjoy his company, love to talk to him and seek his guidance. My husband is a good man. Did I know when I met him that he'd be a good father? Nope, not a clue. He isn't perfect, but he tries every single day to get better and that means something.

So our advice for our son and future son-in-law:

• Observe how God is as a father and imitate him. "Be imitators of God, as beloved children." Ephesians 5:1
• Seek wisdom. "An intelligent mind acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." Proverbs 18:15
• Teach your children about God. "Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise." Deuteronomy 6:6-7 and "Teach a child in the way they should go and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6
• Compliment and encourage your children. "A voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved son. With him I am well pleased." Matthew 3:17 and "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4
• Be brave. "I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 
• Set limits. Kids need to know their boundaries. And stick with those limits. "Discipline your children, and they will give you rest; they will give delight to your heart." Proverb 29:17
• Love deeply and sacrificially. "As a father has compassion for his children, so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him." Psalm 103:13
• Forgive easily and admit when you're wrong. "Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed." James 5:16 and "I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.' So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him." Luke 15:18-20
• Love your wife. After God, she comes first. Your children are watching how your treat her. Girls will learn how they should be treated and boys are learning how they should treat a lady/ "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25.
• Pray ... a lot. Pray God guides you as a Father. Pray continuously for your children. "Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 and "We have not ceased praying for you and asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding." Colossians 1:9

Happy Father's Day to all our daddies today, especially Brad, Tom, Anthony, Matt and Tommy. We love you!

Discussion: Tell about a favorite memory of your father. What are some traits that will make you a good parent?

Prayer: Father, we want to wish you above all others a Happy Father's Day, as we are so blessed to have you as our Abba Father. We give glory to you and thank you for your blessings. We thank you for daddies and pray for both Rob and Anton that they may be excellent fathers one day. In Jesus, Amen. 

Reception Playlist

Uncle Greg has agreed to being the master of ceremonies at Rob and Ayla's reception. And honestly you couldn't get a better guy to do it. He is funny. Precious. Loves you. And he knows how to have a good time. You will be in good hands. And I understand there will be a playlist of songs during the reception for dancing. I know Ayla had said she loved the playlist at her friend Emily Glasgow's wedding (put together by her now-husband Thomas). But I thought I would check to see what the top recommended songs were for receptions. After all, while it is your wedding, you will have people of all ages and backgrounds there. So what is the best music to have on a reception play list?

Tried and Trues: Here are some dances done at every reception:
The Hokey Pokey Ray Anthony and Jo Ann Greer
The Chicken Dance The Emeralds
Electric Slide Martha Griffiths
Cupid Shuffle Cupid
Macarena Los Del Rio
Cha Cha Slide DJ Casper
Bunny Hop Ray Anthony

Other popular songs:
Sweet Caroline Neil Diamond
Shout Otis Day
Twist and Shout Beatles
YMCA The Village People (gotta have this for my Ayla)
We Are Family Sister Sledge
Get Down Tonight KC & The Sunshine Band
Happy Pharrell Williams
Can't Touch This MC Hammer
The Twist Chubby Checker
Ain't No Mountain High Enough Marvin Gaye
Mony Mony Tommy James & The Shondells
Living on a Prayer Bon Jovi
Crazy Gnarls Barkley
Bailando Enrique Inglesias (our Compassion International child's favorite song)
What I Like About You The Romantics
Dancing Queen Abba
Sweet Home Alabama Lynnyrd Skynyrd (has some personal meaning now. :)
Footloose Kenny Loggins
Best Day Of My Life American Authors
Jai Ho A R Rahman
Hey Soul Sister Train (for Tone and Kayla)
I'll Be There For You The Rembrandts (for Lolly)
It's Time Imagine Dragons
Sugar by Maroon 5
Uptown Funk Bruno Mars
Shake It Off Taylor Swift
Dear Future Husband Meghan Trainor
Shut Up And Dance Walk The Moon
Break My Stride Matthew Wilder (for Daddy)
Celebration Kool & The Gang
Call Me Maybe Carly Rae Jepsen
I'm A Believer Smash Mouth
Just The Way You Are Bruno Mars
I Gotta Feeling Black Eyed Peas
Party Rock Anthem LMFAO
Marry You Bruno Mars
Crank That Soulja Boy
For The People Paper Tongues (for Ayla - she was in the music video, after all)
Grease Megamix (all your favorites from the movie)
Very Superstitious Stevie Wonder (for Ayla, Anton and grill cheese sandwiches)
Hey Ya Outkast 

Some Slow Ones:
Unchained Melody The Righteous Brothers
The Way You Look Tonight Michael Buble
Wonderful Tonight Eric Clapton
Unforgettable Nat King Cole
Love You To The End The Pogues
When God Made You Newsong and Natalie Grant
Always Atlantic Starr
I Can't Help Falling In Love With You Elvis Presley
God Gave Me You Dave Barnes
I'll Take Care Of You Steven Curtis Chapman
Lucky Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Christian ones you may not have thought about:
Shake MercyMe
God's Great Dance Floor Chris Tomlin
I Feel So Alive Capital Kings
Working Man Newworldson
Live Life Loud Hawk Nelson
I Am Free The Newsboys
Mr. and Mrs. Group 1 Crew
Good Times Manic Drive
Compass Jonathan Thulin and Manwell 
Freedom Eddie James

At least one polka
Roll Out The Barrel (this will get the old Polish gals moving) Frankie Yankovic & The Yanks
Pennsylvania Polka (this will make the Pittsburghers happy)

Ok, there's a few for you both. Good luck making your playlists and have fun! The Bible tells us there is "a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:4) and we have every intention of celebrating with it. We sure are going to dance!

Discussion: What songs are missing above that you want on your playlist? What songs above have you never heard before? What is the one song, no matter what, that always gets you dancing.

Prayer: We thank you, Father, that there is a time to dance, and know celebrating a union before you is a great time to do some celebrating and dancing. Thank you for the souls who create music for us to dance to. We love you, Father. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Dollar Dance

 It's called The Dollar Dance. In some cultures, it's expected. In others, they've never heard of it. In still others, it's considered an inappropriate request for money from guests who've already given a gift or, in some cases, driven far distances to come to the wedding. What it actually is a last minute opportunity for guests to dance and say good-bye to the bride and groom. As their last dance, they will dance with anyone ... for a dollar. Each person has about a minute or so with the bride and groom to say their good-byes before the groom whisks the bride off her feet and out of the reception. What it does guarantee is the guest will get some one-on-one time with the bride and/or groom before they leave. In some cultures, the guest gives a dollar to the maid-of-honor or best man who then hands the guest a shot to drink before they dance with the bride or groom. In other cultures, dollar bills are thrown at the bride and groom on the dance floor as they dance together just themselves. In others, the bills are pinned to the bride or groom as they dance. So you can see there are different twists. What is interesting is I read it actually started in the 1900s in Poland, so it's in the Zimanek nationality history.

Brad and I had a money dance. It's very cultural in Pittsburgh where we married. My mother made a beautiful satin and lace apron which my sister wore as she collected the dollars in a deep pocket in the front. I personally loved the dance because it gave me a chance to cherish moments with people I might not otherwise have had. While exhausted by this time of the night, it was a wonderful uplifting moment before saying good-bye to folks, some of which I never saw again (we had moved to Tennessee after this). We didn't do the shots. Just the dancing. Lots of tears were shed that I recall, especially when I danced with my Mom who I had been living with for the five previous months. I knew how much I would miss her.

One of my favorite Dollar Dances I've ever participated in was actually at my sister's wedding. My brother was dancing with Aunt Jodi and I was so touched by watching them dance, I cut in with them. After a few minutes of just the three of us dancing, our parents and then husbands joined us. Here we all were as a family dancing at the end of the reception to Celine Dion's "The Power of Love." I remember weeping a lot during that dance and I think about that precious moment every time I hear that song.

So I think it is up to the couple as to whether or not you want to do a Dollar Dance. I think Brad and I were gifted with over $200 during our dance (I think a few folks paid more than $1 to dance with us) which was really helpful on our honeymoon. It was completely optional for anyone who wanted to dance with us. Fun and emotional at the same time. We just wanted to make you aware of it to decide if you want to include it. The apron is ready if you do.

Discussion: What are your thoughts on a Dollar Dance? What songs would you want playing during such a dance? Have you ever seen a Dollar Dance at a reception before?

Prayer: Father God, we thank you for sweet memories and precious traditions. Lord, we pray whether or not there is a dance to say good-bye that our sweet couples will have time to cherish good-byes with their guests. In Jesus name, Amen.

Into Paradise

Yesterday we received some shocking, sudden and solemn news. Rob's Nana, Irma, passed away. When we heard she was in the hospital we began praying for her. When we heard the situation was not looking good, we got her on prayer chains. And when we learned she had passed away, we told all those praying for her and Rob to continue to remember Rob and his family in their prayers for strength and comfort.

Rob was very close to his Nana, even going on vacations with her, his most recent to Seattle. He loved her very much. His voice was the last she heard before she entered Paradise. Irma's passing broke our hearts. We knew how much she meant to our future son-in-law, and we had so looked forward to meeting this woman that he spoke so highly of. With Ayla and Rob's wedding just four months away, it weighs heavy that she will not be there to witness in person her grandson's marriage. For all of us, there will be an empty space that day.

We don't remotely doubt Irma's current state. Nor does Rob. Face-to-face with the Creator of the universe, in full worship-mode with our Christ, rejoicing and perfectly healed. "For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:13) And we rejoice and celebrate with her. But the souls left behind miss seeing the face and hearing the voice of the one they love. And that is one of the toughest parts.

Rob's got some rough days ahead. And we will be uplifting him in prayer every time we think of him. We want him so lifted in spirit to the Father that he feels a perfect peace, a strength only explained by faith and grace shown by others all around him.

While Irma will not be physically at this wedding, she will certainly be present in our hearts. If there is a way for her to watch from the arms of her loving Father, we are sure she will celebrating with us. And we will honor her that day.

Rob, we love you. You are so precious to us. Know that we are here for you and covering you with prayer. And are so sorry in the loss of your grandmother. God bless you and your family.

Discussion: Tell of someone who you admire, respect and love that has gone to be with Jesus. What are some ways to honor the memory of precious family members or friends at a wedding?

Prayer: Lord God, we thank you for the life of Irma and the precious relationship Rob had with her. Father, she is has passed through the gates to glory and singing with the angels, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord." Please comfort our future son-in-love and his family. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Feast & Merriment

Check one: __ Steak __ Chicken __ Vegetarian Option
You'll see them on RSVP cards for wedding guests so that caterers will have an accurate count for meals at the reception. You don't necessarily know what kind of steak or chicken or vegetarian option you will have, but you check your preference, nonetheless. Sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you wished you checked something else. Honestly you never know how the food is going to be at a reception when you are the guest. I have watched many a "Four Weddings" show on TV where brides are ranked on various aspects of their wedding and reception, including the food. If there is one thing I noticed, people like comfort foods ...  you know, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese. They are always huge hits on that show.

Both couples will have the opportunity to choose menu items for their reception. Ayla and Rob, with their background in the culinary arts, put great emphasis on what food will be offered at the reception and how it will be presented. That was top priority when selecting a venue for them. The food had to be not just good, but excellent. After trying out the restaurant below the venue they selected at Christmas, I think they are in good hands. They plan on having a "feast and merriment" following their wedding. The feast will be food stations of various appetizers. When I first heard about this, I wondered how "feast"y it was, but after attending a wedding last week with tasty and healthy bite-sized options which filled me right up, now I'm excited to see what they select and know I'll be feasting.

At the wedding last week, sliced turkey and ham, cocktail weinies, meatballs, shrimp, raw veggies and fruits, breads and cheeses (even a bowl of Sixlets) were part of the buffet. Then, of course, everyone got cake. It was a wonderful meal and there was plenty for everyone. I've been to weddings where you get a huge plated meal, where much is wasted on each plate. In this situation, people took what they wanted, so there was far less waste. I've also been to a wedding where there was no meal, just mints, nuts and wedding cake. Daddy and I hit a McDonald's after the reception. We felt kinda chinced, honestly.

In Biblical times, wedding feasts lasted a week and included "oxen and butchered fattened livestock" (Matthew 22:4). Imagine feeding your guests for that long instead of one evening! Receptions today can have sit down dinners, buffets, cocktail party appetizers and BBQ. When The Knot asked caterers around the country to share their most popular wedding dishes, items like sushi, tartlets, salads and unique appetizers made the list. Of course it is always cheaper when you can provide your own food and servers. At the wedding reception last week, family members filled empty trays and poured wine for guests. Another option is having family-style serving (bowls and trays of food at each table sharing just like a family) verses plated meals, which can save on costs. Food stations allow for speed in serving and more mingling, so there are all kinds of way to feed the masses.

So have fun creating within budget. I think as long as bellies are full and folks are energized enough to dance, all will be fine. Getting ready for the feast and merriment!

Discussion: What is the worst wedding reception meal you've ever had? The best? What kinds of food would you like at your wedding? How would you like it served?

Prayer: Lord God, to celebrate a union before you with a wedding feast is such a joy. We pray for the finances to hold these parties and guidance on the most tasty foods to serve. In Christ we pray, Amen.

That Moment

"I had my moment." Those were Kayla's words when she found her wedding gown on Saturday. At the last stop of three scheduled appointments for the day, in a Birmingham bridal store that her friends prophesied she wouldn't leave without having selected her dress, she found success. Like Ayla, Kayla tried on many dresses. Also like Ayla she knew exactly what she wanted, she was just waiting to find the perfect example of it. And find it she did.

The "moment" she is talking about is when the bride-to-be feels it deep in her heart that this is it. This is what I am marrying the man of my dreams in. I saw when Ayla's had hers. You could just see it in her face. She was done. She knew she'd found the perfect gown. Matter of fact, her exact words when she saw herself in the mirror was, "This is what I'm marrying Rob Goggin in." For Kayla, she said it was when she put half her hair up and added a veil ... then the tears came. But it wouldn't be complete until she had her Daddy's approval. So her father drove from Prattville to Birmingham to see his daughter's dream dress .... and approved. Then we all got to see it and likewise approve. All, except for Anton, of course. It's funny cause Rob and Anton have very different reactions to the idea of their fiance's wedding dress. Rob not only doesn't want to see the dress until Ayla walks down the aisle, he doesn't want to see a picture of her in any wedding dress. Anton on the other hand wants to see Kayla in every wedding dress, including the one she selected.

I love the moment when the bride finds her dress any time time I watch "Say Yes To The Dress," "I Found The Gown" or any of the other many bridal gown shows. It is precious and special. She melts, the mom cries, the dad cries.

For Rob and Anton that moment will happen the minute they see their bride headed toward them down the aisle. They will looking at their future Mrs. dressed in one of the most beautiful ensembles of her life. The hair, makeup and dress will be the very best possible for the man she loves. I like to think of it as presenting our best selves to Jesus Christ as our groom, "without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." (Ephesians 5:7)

The other day I shed a couple tears when watching Kayla's future maid-of-honor, Kim, walk down the aisle to her groom. I couldn't help but think about Ayla walking toward Rob and Anton waiting for Kayla at the front of the church. It won't just be a moment for them. It will be a moment for us ... one to cherish forever. 

Discussion: Do you think it's important for the groom to wait until the wedding day to see the bride in her dress for the first time? Why or why not? Tell about a moment you knew each other was "the one."

Prayer: Father, we thank you that we get to have these beautiful moments in time of beauty and sweetness. We pray, Father, the first time grooms see their future wives-to-be approach them the day of their weddings, that they will feel a warmth and joy in their hearts, and may these ladies take their breath away. In Jesus, Amen..

Wedding Day Coif

A few days ago, Kayla was a bridesmaid in her bestfriend's wedding. Prior to the photo time with the bridal party, Kayla called to ask me to help her with a crisscross style Kim wanted all her bridesmaids to have. I love to do hair, so I was excited to help her. After a pound of Aqua Net, at least 20 bobby pins and a 400 degree F curling wand, she was good to go with only the Alabama humidity and potential Spring rains as the enemies. It got me thinking about wedding hair ... what the bride will wear the day of the nuptials. Now for guys, as usual, it's pretty simple: a good haircut. But for girls it can run the gamut. Hair up? Hair down? Extentions? Curly? Straight? Hair jewelry? Flowers? Headbands? So thought we'd get some tips.

1) First off, don't try a new style the day of the wedding. You're begging for disaster. Try out your style at least once with your veil to see how it will look. Try different styles to see what looks best. If you are having someone style your hair, bring pictures of what your like. Do practice styles at least three months in advance.

2) If you are planning to get a haircut, highlights or coloring done, get it done at least two to four weeks prior to the wedding. That gives it time to grow a bit and soften. Plus if you need to make any changes, it give you time.

3) Get to know your hairspray well. Spray before and after you do anything to your hair. It will help it hold, especially if it's like my hair and falls quickly in humidity. Plus this will help in windy outdoor situations as well.

4) If you have long hair, note that guys like it down. Girls always seem to want to put it up. But if you ask men, more often then not, they want your hair down and looking as close to what they are used to as possible. Of course, we don't always do what they want, but just giving you their perspective. If you want it up, try half up and half down and make everyone happy. 1 Corinthians 11:15 says "if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her."

5) Keep the time of year in mind. Is it hot and humid, then work with your hair. You might need it off your neck then. If it's curly, let it be curly. If it's straight, stick with that.

6) Be sure to eat healthy leading up to the wedding (eat healthy every day). For healthy hair, munch on salmon, yogurt, spinach, poultry, sweet potatoes, cinnamon, eggs, blueberries, carrots, nuts and oysters. You'll get shine, body and strength.

7) Consider your dress. If the dress has a magical back that you want to show off, make sure your hair is high enough to see it.

8) Some brides do two styles: an up do for the ceremony and down for the reception. You can have fun with this if you'd like, but then you need someone to help take care of that the day of.

9) Don't pull back tight at the hairline, even it is half up half down. You'll sometimes look bald in photos.

10) Check all the angles. What do you look like from the front, side and back? People will be seeing all of it the day of, so you want a style that's complimentary from all angles.

You will be lovely no matter how you wear your hair, so have fun and be natural!

Discussion: Have you decided how you want to wear your hair on your wedding day? How does your future spouse want to see you on your wedding day?

Prayer: Father you tell us the hairs on our heads are numbered, that is how much you care for us. We want to look good on our wedding day and pray for weather conducive to it. We love you, Father. Thank you for loving us and for your son, Jesus. In His name we pray, Amen.

Love Each Other Deeply

Last week, I was shopping for a wedding gift, hunting for my favorite marriage book ("Love Life for Every Married Couple" by Dr. Ed Wheat). When I couldn't find it and was on my way to leave Blessings Christian bookstore, I looked to my right and saw the most precious picture. It was a photograph of two pears nestled next to each other with the first half of the Bible verse from 1 Peter 4:8, which in it's entirety says: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." Brad loves pears and when I saw it, I melted. I felt like the smaller pear leaning in. Of course I snatched it right up as my gift, but honestly wondered if I would be able to give it away since I thought it was so precious. As I was checking out, Lori, the owner of the store, told me a little about the couple who sells these. A Christian couple, one does the photography and the other finds a Bible verse to go with it. How beautiful that one look at this pear picture and the spouse thought about this 1 Peter verse.

And how directly on point this verse is! Now understand that when Peter wrote this letter he was not specifically writing to married couples. He was writing to all Christians and giving them advice on how to behave as such. In this verse, he was asking them to love each other deeply. See, we as Christians are petty enough to find faults in everyone around us. We pick each other apart because of each other's sins, forgetting often to look in the mirror at ourselves. So the second part of the verse is key: for love covers a multitude of sins. Think about the love Christ had for us so deeply. It covered our sins in the greatest possible way.

You will have many, many opportunities to pick each other apart in your marriage. You will know your spouse better than anyone else, so you will see everything: the good and the bad. Because of this, you will feel entitled to bring those things which you find bad to the attention of your beloved. Sometimes you will do it for their betterment. And other times you will do it to demean them. Take care to avoid both, but especially the latter at all cost. You have many faults, too, and you certainly do not want your spouse to spit them in your face. It's the old Matthew 7:3 log-in-your-own-eye syndrome. "Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?" So be careful when you are nitpicking under the guise of "but I'm just trying to help you out," or "I only want to help you become the best you you can be." Uh huh, yeah. There are ways of doing that kindly. First, imagine how you would want someone to say something like that to you. And second, pray before you speak. God may do the fixing all on His own.

So what's your job? Love each other deeply. We know you already do. We just want to you remember it always.

Discussion: Do you every nitpick at each other? What method of correcting you is the most effective method?

Prayer: Lord God, we thank You that You love us so deeply that You sent Christ to cover our multitude of sins. Help us, Father, to be careful to look at ourselves before we criticize and to gently correct when necessary. We love you, Lord. In Jesus, Amen.