Счастливый день свадьбы!

As you can probably surmise by now, there are all kinds of nationalities getting in the mix for these two weddings. We've only touched on a few - Polish, Danish, Romanian, Seminole, Irish, Italian - and have a few more to go - Swiss, English, Czechoslovakian, Portuguese, German, Hungarian and Choctaw among others. And we may even look at some nationalities not represented just to see how other cultures celebrate marriage. Today we're looking into one of Busha's nationalities ... Russian. Grandpa Roman Jarmolowicz had some Russian in him.

For Russians, the wedding celebrations could last two to seven days. There are all kinds of traditions that happen over the several-day celebration. It kicks off with the groom showing up at the bride's parents house with a ransom for his bride. Just for kicks and giggles, the bride's parents will bring out someone else in a wedding dress (sometimes even a man), demanding a higher price for their daughter. Sometimes family members or members of the bridal party will make the groom do all kind of goofy things to win his bride. The groom can offer money or jewelry. If it's satisfactory, the bride is brought out. While this may have been actual tradition at one time, now it's just done for fun.

At the wedding, the officiant blesses two lit candles and gives them to the bride and groom to hold throughout the ceremony. Rings are put on the right hand. Like the Romanians, the bride and groom are crowned. They will stand on a new rose-colored rug for this tradition. After the crowning, they have a handfasting (clasped hands wrapped in the officiant's stole) and then the couple walks three times around the lectern (or altar - wherever the Bible is laying) to symbolize the beginning of their new life together. Like the Jewish tradition, couples will break a crystal glass (the shards represent their many years together).

After the wedding, doves or balloons may be released and then the wedding couple hops in a limo to tour famous sights around town. Then it's off to the wedding feast and countless toasts (with vodka, of course). When guests shout “Горько!” (pronounced "gorka") they are saying "bitter," as in the alcohol is bitter and to sweeten it up they need to kiss. If the couple doesn't kiss long enough, they shout "Gorka" again. Parents of the bride and groom offer the couple a loaf of bread and salt (as a symbol of health and prosperity). They both take a bite of the bread. Whoever takes the biggest bite is the head of the household.


Dancing, feasting, singing and drinking can last for days in the wedding celebration. Those Russians know how to party, but I would imagine that cuts in to honeymoon time.

Every time we do one of these, we discover a unique or new tradition. Pick and choose what you like! Счастливый день свадьбы (Happy Wedding Day!)

Discussion: Do any of these traditions sound interesting to you? Which do you not like?

Prayer: Father, may you be glorified in every moment of the wedding. As Creator of all nations we praise Your name and thank you for the uniqueness and similarities of what we learn. In Christ, Amen.

Whatever Is True

After days of rose petals torn from a silk flower, pearls, Swarovski crystals, netting and satin stripped from a hair accessory, ribbon, feathers, tiny seashells and charms strewn around my office, I finally sat down the other afternoon and tried to make a belt for Ayla's wedding dress. Now she's already had one donated to use that's blinged out, but while at the bridal store, Ayla tried on a different belt that was intriguing. She wasn't sold on it, but I thought it might be fun to try to personalize one for her. So I looked for coral and sparkly elements to try to make one. And viola ... it's complete. I had so much fun making it, I may make another more of the sparkly variety. We'll see.

Whether or not she uses it makes no difference to me. It was so fun to do! Personally, there is only one belt that I want Ayla to wear ... and Rob, Tone and Kayla for that matter. That's the belt talked about in Ephesians 6:14 as part of the full armor of God ... the belt of truth. See we live in a world where truthfulness is glossed over, inflated or eliminated. Far better to tell people what they want to hear than the truth. Far better to exaggerate your story than tell the truthful one that may not have as much impact. Far better to outright lie than admit the truth. But see, when folks start going that direction, it just leads to more and more untruths. God saw such importance in truth telling that He made it one of the Ten Commandment. "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor." (Exodus 20:16) Psalm 10:7 tells us it is the wicked man whose mouth is "full of lies." 34:13 says, "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies." In John 8:44 Jesus warns about lies saying, "You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." No one wants to claim to be his son. Colossians 3:9 says, "Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices."

This means you don't even tell those "little white lies." We heard a TV series character call them "sugar lies" saying they were meant to make someone feel better. Psychology Today says, "Sometimes it's wise to fib just a little. Telling the whole truth to a person who isn't prepared for it can destroy the trust and good will between people. White lies often come from a sense of compassion, not a desire to deceive." But Scripture doesn't give allowances for "fibbing." A lie is a lie. 

You will find truthfulness is so important in a marriage. You need to be open with one another and tell the truth. Anything less will certainly destroy trust between you. So be honest. Stand firm and put on the belt of truth.

Discussion: Do you think it's okay to tell little white lies? Why is truthfulness important to you?

Prayer: Lord, you have told us to be honest and for us to think about what is true (Phil. 4:8). We will have more credibility, integrity and more trust placed in us if we are honorable enough to be truthful. May we be obedient to Your word. In Jesus, Amen.

Greatest Week In History

Today is Palm Sunday, named for the fronds the crowd in Jerusalem waved as our Messiah entered the city on the first day of this greatest week in history. It probably wasn't taught to you as such in any history classes of the public school, but all Christians know it's so. It was a day Christ proclaimed to the masses - nearly 2.7 million in town for Passover - that He was our Savior. He did this by fulfilling what the prophet Zechariah said in 9:9 "Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion! Shout, Daughter Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and victorious, lowly and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey." The people shouted "Save! Now! Pray!" with their "Hosannas" not having a clue that the true saving would come in the form of sacrifice through the worst possible kind of execution.

Jesus knew as He rode into town on that donkey that he would be crucified just five days later ... yet He came anyway. He knew in just four days, one of His closest friends would betray Him, another would deny Him and all would abandon Him, yet He ate Passover with them anyway. He knew the same people shouting "Hosanna" would be shouting "Crucify him," but He prayed for them anyways (Matt 23:37). He knew as He watched people laying their cloaks on the ground before Him that Sunday, later that week he would be beaten, spit on, mocked and killed, and He forgave them all anyway (Luke 23:34). It was the greatest week in history because the greatest man who ever lived was paying the highest price One could pay in pure, complete, selfless love (John 3:16).

My sweet children, celebrate this day. Celebrate it every year for the rest of your lives. Celebrate it together, with your future children and grandchildren. Know that when those palm branches are passed out and you wave them in the air, you are attending an honorary parade for the King of Kings! And don't just proclaim Him in the church this morning ... proclaim Him in the streets! Help the lost see what this Jesus did for them.

Spread the Good News! "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!" (Mark 11:9)

Discussion: Tell about a special Palm Sunday service you remember? What are ways you can share the Good News of Jesus Christ this week?

Prayer: Father God, we know that if the children of Israel didn't shout praises to your Son as He entered the town, that even the stones would have shouted (Luke 19:40) Lord God, we thank you and praise you for Christ our King! May we worship Him fully this week and share of Your great love and mercy! In the name of the Messiah, Amen.

Inquire Of The Lord

While reading the Bible this morning in Joshua 9, I paused on a sentence that truly resonated. In verse 14 it says, "They did not inquire of the Lord." At this point in Scripture, Joshua has entered the promised land with the Israelites and begun conquering tribes in the area. Already Jericho and Ai have fallen. Next on the list are the cities of the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, Girgashites and Jebusites. God's instructions for the Israelites was to completely annihilate these tribes - no treadies - just complete destruction. One nearby tribe, the Gibeonites, after hearing about what happened at Jericho and Ai, came up with a ruse to fool the Israelites into believing they were actually from a far land to lure them into a tready with them. They showed up at the Israelite camp dirty, in worn clothes and sandals, with moldy food and old cracked and mended wineskins as evidence of their "long journey." Here is where the verse above comes in to play. Rather than go to the Lord for guidance, they survey the situation and make a decision on their own. The leaders of the Israelites make an oath not to destroy Gibeonites. The ruse worked. Three days later, the Israelites learn the truth: they've been duped. They keep their oath not to destroy the Gibeonites, but make them lifelong servants in the house of God. In later battles with other occupying tribes, instead of completely destroying them as they were commanded, they "never drove them out completely" (Judges 1:28). Mistakes like this cost the Israelites much heartache in the future, as these tribes lured the Hebrews into pagan worship, forsaking the Lord. Their eventual punishment was their conquer, pulling the Jews out of the very promised land they were just now receiving and scattering them (diaspora) all over the earth.

Here's the moral ... inquire of the Lord.

In just those four little words, they would have changed the entire course of their history. Had they gone to God, He would have revealed the truth to them. Had they been obedient in future circumstances, they would have avoided the suffering that later came.

You will save yourself so much future suffering, pain and blunders if you just inquire of the Lord. When you have a question, suspicious inkling, need wisdom, a decision to make ... inquire of the Lord. Do this together. Do this in your individual prayers. Go to God. Ask Him what to do. The Word says in James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." He gives it generously, so ask Him.You'll thank Him later. The alternative is just ... sad.

Discussion: Tell of a time when you did not inquire of the Lord. What was the result? Tell of a time when you did? What was the result?

Prayer: Father, we thank You that You have promised us wisdom when we ask for it. We pray we remember to always inquire of You what You would have us do, whether through prayer or in the reading of your Word. Guide our steps and may they always glorify you. In Jesus, Amen.

Save The Date

We just recently got Rob and Ayla's Save the Date cards in the mail! So exciting to realize we are getting ever closer to this special day! Less than seven months away already and little more than 200 days! Woo hoo. The Save the Dates cards are precious in that they feature Ayla and Rob on the beach spelling out L-O-V-E with their hands while the sun sets behind them. I shot that photo rather randomly last August when I visited Ayla for her birthday. So excited that it's on the Save The Date card! And mailed out seven months ahead, this gives out-of-town guests - which is just about everyone - plenty of time to prepare to see if a trip to Florida is possible this October.

Save the Dates are a relatively new thing in the wedding world ... pretty much within the last decade. They aren't a necessary thing, but they sure are helpful for family and friends out of town making travel plans. They simply provide the names, date and event (sometimes the city) so people are aware. Oftentimes a wedding website address might be included. Sometimes they are postcards (like Ayla and Rob's), greeting cards or even magnets to put on the fridge. They are quite helpful to guests.

Most wedding sites say with invitations sent 2-3 months in advance, Save the Dates should be sent out anywhere from 6-9 months ahead of time. It's the couple's way of saying, "Hey - get this on your calendar and don't plan anything else, cause we are getting married and we want you there!" With this advance notice, people can therefore plan air travel or book hotels for the stay.

Anton and Kayla have discussed sending out their Save the Date (now set for Aug. 13, 2016) at Christmas time, and they have a clever idea planned for it. With all Kayla's extended family in Mississippi, Illinois or Florida and all Anton's in Iowa, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, this kind of advance notice is necessary.

Even God used "Save The Date"s in Scripture. For all the festivals the Lord wanted the Israelites to celebrate, he reminded them in the Word what those dates would be. Passover was the fourteenth day of the first month of the year (Numbers 9:4). The Festival of Weeks was seven weeks after harvesting grain (Deuteronomy 16: 9) The Feast of Tabernacles was "seven days after gathering produce of the threshing floor and your winepress." (Deuteronomy 16:13). It was God's way of saying Save This Date! Be ready to worship and celebrate! Do not plan anything else for this day. There is one particular day the Lord asks Christians to be prepared for and that is the Day of The Lord. It is near, he says repeatedly throughout Scripture (although "near" for God can be thousands of years - 2 Peter 3:8) found in Isaiah 13:6, Ezekiel 30:3, Joel 1:15, Obadiah 1:15, Zephaniah 1:7 and 14 - notice all books of prophesy. He also says it will come like a "thief in the night" (1 Thessalonians 5:1-2). What is the day of the Lord ... it's the beginning of the end times. It's a time when final judgment will take place all "all who call on the Lord will be saved" (Joel 2:32).

This is a day the Lord tells us we need to be constantly ready for, as it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:6-9, "So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ." How are you we to ready? The text goes on to say, "Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil."

Be ready for the Day of the Lord by being the loving Christian God intends ... you may be the only Save The Date card people see with regards to this day.

Discussion: What are some clever Save The Dates you have seen? How are you saving the date by being ready for the Day of the Lord?

Prayer: Father, help us in word and action to be obedient to you as a witness to your children. The Day of the Lord is near! May we be ever ready and help your children be likewise. In Jesus, Amen.

No Question

I have a Christian fish on my car. And a Bible verse (Deut. 6:5). And a cross hanging from my rearview mirror. And a bumper sticker of The River, Christian radio station. And a decal that says He>i. When you see my car, you should have no question the driver is a Christian.

There is a cross hanging outside our home. There are crosses all over the inside and Bibles in just about every room. There are Bible verses hanging on the walls and oftentimes Christian music playing in the stereo. When you come into our home, you should have no question Christians live here.

This should be the same case when you meet us ... you should have no question when watching us and speaking to us that we are Christians. We want it to be obvious. If someone accuses us of being Christian, we hope there will be plenty of evidence. And not just "Oh, she wears a cross necklace" or "They go to church every Sunday" or "I've caught him reading her Bible." We would prefer people catch us in the act of being a Christian. Loving someone, serving others, letting our speech reflect our faith.

We are living in a culture perpetually pulling us away from what God has called us to be ... reflecting those Fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control as found in Galatians 5:22-23. Are you loving? Are you peaceful? Are you generous? Are you kind? Are you joyful? Are you patient? Are you faithful? Do you have self-control? Are you gentle? There may be one or more of those that you will say "no" to ... well, then, work on it.

We will have countless opportunities within our marriages and in our daily life to blow it. To not be godly. To not reflect Christ. We need to reach beyond our human failings and strive to be what God expects of us. We need to catch our minds when they traverse into spiritually unhealthy areas. We need to stop ourselves before we respond in unrighteous anger. We need to "take every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). Stop inappropriate responses and words from leaving your lips. Quash feelings of jealousy. Forgive over and over again. Love our enemies and pray for them. Care for the poor and sick. Visit the lonely. Love, love, love, love, love.

It doesn't matter what you stick on your car, hang in your house or wear on your body. What matters is what people see in you. The old hymn says, And they'll know are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love." Let there be no question.

Discussion: What evidence can people give to prove you are a Christian? Which of the Fruits of the Spirit do you need a little work on?

Prayer: Father, let not just our outward appearance, but also our inward heart be an advertisement of Your great love. Father, every day is a challenge. Help us remember to take our thoughts captive to You, praise and glorify You. In Jesus, Amen.

Take A Chance

Today is my penpal's birthday. She is two years older than me. We have been writing to one another since 1974. She was Mary Hutchison then. She and her family were camping in the tent trailer next to ours one weekend at Laurel Hill State Park. It rained most of the weekend. But she and I just clicked. We had so much fun. At the end of the weekend I asked if I could have her address to write to her. We have been writing ever since. We have seen each other only a handful of times since then. When I was 18, at both of our weddings (she was a bridesmaid in mine), and when she was pregnant with her first child, daughter Adeline. That is the last time I saw her. Five children later, she currently lives in Colorado with her physician husband. Ayla has seen her more recently when Mary and her husband of 26 years, Gary Pearson, visited her in Bar Harbor while they were on vacation. How wonderful that my penpal got to meet my daughter!

Mary is the wedding expert of late. She has attended three as mother of the bride in the last year as daughters Addie, Maggie and Annick all became wives within months of each other. Each wedding was unique and precious. And Mary, of course, looked amazing in them.

The reason I bring Mary up is because my friendship with her is from a chance meeting. Seriously what are the odds that two little girls, one from Ohio and one from Pennsylvania, would meet in the Appalachian hills one weekend and continue to keep in touch 41 years later? Her letters are gems to me and tell the story of her life from that moment on. She had a great influence in my life. She absolutely loved the Lord and shared Him with me frequently in word and in the art she created. She glows Jesus. You want to know Him better because of the way she speaks about Him. She's contagious. Throughout the years she gave me advice, correction and encouragement. She is the one who told me about the Walk to Emmaus, which ended up changing your Daddy's life. That chance meeting all those years ago, has most certainly impacted my life.

We want you young couples to be open to chance meetings. Every soul you meet could be your next dear friend; could be one that introduces something refreshing to your faith; could be one who uplifts you; could be one you confide in for the rest of your life. So take care to pause in this lifetime long enough to love the ones God places in your path. This world has more than 7 billion people in it, and God has selected just the ones you need to meet, love, learn from and teach. You have a lifetime of dear friendships ahead. So open yourselves up to the Holy Spirit and look around you into the faces the children of God. You will be deeply blessed by it.

Discussion: Tell about your longest and dearest friendship. Tell about a chance meeting and how it impacted you.

Prayer: Lord God, Your plan is amazing, perfect and precious. We glorify Your name for You are Holy! You have set our days and thusly the journey we will take, people we will meet and circumstances we'll face. We pray we will be a blessing to others and will absorb all we need to from those you want to bless us. In Christ's name we pray, Amen.

Beautiful Feet

Saw the movie Cinderella recently and I gotta say, that Fairy Godmother has great cobbler abilities. I'm not talking about a fruity baked dessert, but rather cobbler in the shoe making sense. Those Swarovski crystal slippers with butterfly embellishments were gorgeous! I read that it took 8 people 150 hours to make the shoes for the movie and there were six versions before they picked their favorite. It has six-inch heels and 221 facets. They are certainly breathtaking ... but completely unwearable. Too delicate.

Which brings up the topic of shoes. For guys it's easy ... a pair of dress shoes. They can be patent or matte leather and hopefully with tough enough soles to stomp a glass wrapped in a handkerchief (should you elected to do so ... Mazel tov). Course, guys can always wear athletic shoes or even sandals. But what should the bride wear?

I'm all about those Cinderella shoes. A bride needs to look spiffy from head to toe, and a good pair of shoes finish the work of art. I know Ayla was originally thinking beach wedding and barefoot with flip flops for the reception, but now that she's getting married riverside and on a deck, shoes are necessary. Kayla will be getting married to Anton in a church in Montgomery, so shoes are needed there too.

My white satin shoes

I wore a pair of white satin pumps. I only wish they'd have had some sparkle. But they were comfy. I even dyed them purple for Aunt Jodi's wedding when I was the matron of honor. So that would be my advice ... make sure they are comfortable. You will be standing most of the night, so you want shoes that won't be murder on your feet. (Bring band-aids just in case!) However, knowing Ayla, they will be crazy high heels. You can always kick them off at the reception and don a pair of flats, flip flops or satin slippers.

There's a lot of bridal shoe styles out there from low to high heels, satin to lace, pearls to crystal sparkles, bows to feathers, flip flops to boots, flowers to ruffles. They can certainly be fun. Brides can even wear different colored shoes just to have fun. There's even a gal who will personalize your wedding shoes (www.figgieshoes.com) - of course, your Uncle Greg could do that for you. Regardless of what you choose you will have beautiful feet.

What does the Bible say makes beautiful feet? The bride in Song of Solomon wears sandals (7:1). But shoe wear isn't the most important. Isaiah 52:7 says, "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, 'Your God reigns.'" Beautiful feet are those which tell the world about Jesus Christ. We like to call them Good News Shoes ...  as described in Ephesians 6:15 "As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace." We always need to have ready the story of what Christ means to us, what He's done for us to share at a moment's notice. You just never know who you will run into that needs to hear about Christ's love.

So that's what we recommend ... shoes that will be comfortable enough to wear into the night that you may share the grace and love of Jesus Christ not just with your future spouse, but with all your guests, There may be a few souls there who will really need to hear it.

Discussion: What kind of shoes would you like to wear at your wedding? Why is that style or color important to you? Do you feel like you have Good News Shoes ready to put on when necessary?

Prayer: Thank you, Lord, for shoes that protect, fit and allow us to stay on the move to glorify you. We pray our souls are always ready in soles fit to spread your Gospel of peace. In Jesus, Amen.

Iron Sharpens Iron

We have groomsmen ... for both weddings! Rob will have his brother, Anton and two friends. Anton will have his best buddy, Carter, three other friends and Kayla's brother, Tommy. So the guys are covered. Now it's tux, shoes, cummerbund, tie and boutonniere deciding time.

Like the bridesmaids, groomsmen were selected to confuse evil spirits or enemies as to who the groom was, thus they all dressed like the groom. They groomsmen would protect the bride and bridesmaids from any potential kidnappers.

Nowadays, they are pretty much responsible for supporting the groom (keeping him relaxed, having fun, running last minute errands, reminding him of what he needs), holding a bachelor party for him, seating people and accompanying the bridesmaids down the aisle. The best man is responsible for holding the wedding rings (unless there is a ring bearer) and giving a toast at the reception.

These fellows are an important part of the ceremony and reception, because guys need all the support and encouragement they can get on this special day. But not only that, guys need friends, support and encouragement throughout their lives. God has men as the spiritual heads of their home, providers and leaders. It's a tall order for men, so to have a support group of friends in these endeavors is very important.

Scripture tells us in Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another," showing how important it is to have male friends in your life that can hold you accountable, don't hesitate to correct you and can support you when you need it. A friend like that is a treasure indeed and needs to selected carefully. In Proverbs 12:26 it says, "The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." Then in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Everyone needs a good friend.

Thankful that both Anton and Rob will be surrounded by men they count as dear friends and family.

Discussion: For the guys, who is the one person you count as your closest friend (aside from your fiance) and why? Why are close friendships important?

Prayer: Lord, we thank You for close friends that we can count on. Thank you for bringing those souls into our lives that mean so much to us. We pray that we can be the friends you ask us to be, loving at all times (Prov. 17:17). In Jesus, Amen.

Helpmate

Today is your mother’s – and future mother-in-law’s – birthday! She can no longer say she is with an older man. She’s 50 just like me as we continue this incredible journey God has laid out before us all those many years ago when we met as 18-year-olds.

I know Anton and Ayla have heard parts of this story over the years, but it is part of the journey that led both of us to pray daily for our two children’s future spouses since both Anton and Ayla were infants.

My sophomore year in high school, I began praying for my future spouse every day in front of the mirror in the bathroom before I left for school. I prayed for everything: beauty, brains, a heart for God as well as certain physical characteristics. You name it, I asked Him for it. God answered every request and then some. Jill will say He didn’t … She will say: “I’m not tall, long-legged and love sports.” But God, of course, knows better. If Jill loved sports and athletics, I would not have grown and been as well-rounded without all of the interests, skills and passions Jill brings to the table. He gave me everything I needed in her to be the perfect woman and helpmate on our spiritual journeys.

God has done the exact same for both Rob and Ayla and Anton and Kayla. Don’t ever forget that. People have prayed for who Anton and Ayla would be Christian partners with here on this earth for decades. So when issues arise in your married lives, and they will arise, remember that. And ask God why He brought your spouse into your life – in a particular instance that you might not understand at the time – to shape, mold and teach you to be more like Him in your journey.

 I cannot even begin to imagine who I would be without Jill. I was 18. I was driven. In some ways, I was mature. In some ways, I was not. I was self-centered. I had a rough few years prior to meeting her and was a little angry. It was me fighting against the world. I loved God, but didn’t really know what it meant. It was just loving God on my own terms.

 Jill was a shining light. Her relationship with Christ was evident to all who came across her. She loves passionately. She cares deeply. She’s beautiful, smart, resourceful, talented, goofy, driven, while always wanting to make a memory … taking the ordinary and making it special. Your mother used all of those characteristics to nurture and build up both of you. She’s always wanted the best for you and did everything in her power to nth degree to make that happen. After Ayla was born, Jill didn’t last long in the working mother world. At the time, I didn’t think it was the smartest decision. It was going from two similar incomes to one. We ended up doing without a lot.

Thank God your mom had the strength and drive to make it happen. I can emphatically say, Ayla and Anton, you would have not ended up as the well-rounded, caring, Christian people you have become if she had not sacrificed and stayed home to shower Christ’s love upon you. I would not have become the husband, father and man of God without her by my side to lead, love and support. She’s my best friend. She’s the love of my life. 

Happy birthday … my Pumpkin, my Cuppy Cake (inside joke) … I cannot imagine going through a day on this journey on earth without her. I hope and pray that all four of you can love your spouse as deeply and as passionately as I love your mother and future mother-in-law.

Discussion: Men, what are some characteristics you think are important for wives? What are some attributes you see in your fiance that will help grow you?

Prayer: Father, we give You all the glory and thank You for answering our prayers for the future spouses of our children. We continue to uplift all four of them in their future marriage journeys, that they will mutually benefit each other spiritually, edify and support each other. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Faith Fit Bit

Ayla loves her new Fit Bit. This technological device - worn like a watch - tracks physical activity, food and water consumption and sleep. When I asked what she thought of it, she said, "I love it because it holds me accountable for my health." In this day and age of many sedentary activities (in front of various video screens) it is good to have something to remind us to keep moving, eat correctly, get enough water and plenty of rest. Physical fitness is important, especially if you want to be the best temple for the Lord (1 Cor. 6:19).

This is also why Brad and I love our weekly accountability (called Reunion) groups so much. They hold us accountable for our faith. We shared  a photo of the card we follow on Nov. 24 of last year in this blog. It takes a person about 10-15 minutes to go completely through the card depending on what is happening in your life. A group meeting typically lasts about an hour (unless you are the Digressing Divas - my reunion group likes to visit, too, so we take a bit longer).

The card provides prompts to help you remember various areas of accountability in your spiritual life. You are not expected to do all the items asked about, but it's rather to get you thinking about what you could be doing. The accountability group holds you accountable for the following:

Worship:

• Are you having a devotion time?
• Praying?
• Worshiping at church?
• Taking communion?
• Journaling?
• Going on a spiritual retreat?

Study:

• Are you reading Scripture?
• Reading devotion/study guides?
• Reading religious publications, devotional newspapers or religious magazines?
• Are you taking a Bible study?
  Do you go to Sunday School?
• Have you attended a religious seminar?

Action - What have you done to show the love of Christ in your...

• Family?
• Vocation?
• Community?
• Small Group?
• Church?

After completing that part of the card, we then discuss:

• At what moment we felt Closest to Christ during the week
• Call to Discipleship, when we discipled someone sharing Christ with them
• When our faith was tested through failure, called Discipleship Denied 
• What our Plan is for the next week to improve our faith
• What Special Needs we want prayer for.
• Then we close in prayer.

You become very close to your Reunion Group members because of this accountability. It is a precious, welcome time of sharing.

Just as physical fitness is important, so likewise is spiritual fitness. Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 4:7-8 "Train yourself toward godliness, for, while physical training is of some value, godliness is valuable in every way, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” How wonderful it would be to have a technological device that tracked that as well. But since we don't have those, and it is important for Christians to hold one another accountable, the Reunion Group - or Faith Fit Bit Group if you will - is the best tracker out there. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." There is value in the accountability group. 

All it takes is just one person to have a accountability partner. Your fiance could be that person. Once a week you could ask each other the questions above. If you'd like have additional people in the group, ask others if they would be willing to meet with you specifically for that purpose. Do not use this time for Bible study - that is a different kind of group. This is strictly your weekly Faith Fit Bit tracker.

You will find it to be quite fulfilling and inspiring, cause you certainly don't want to show up to your FFB group with nothing accomplished faith-wise each week. Hold each other accountable. It is so important, like your physical health, to remember to keep your faith in check also. 1 Timothy 4:15 says, "Put these things into practice, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress." So get healthy - physically, yes; spiritually, most definitely.

Discussion: Would you be interested in trying to do an accountability group? Who would be persons who you would trust to hold you accountable to your faith?

Prayer: Lord God, we thank you for Christian brothers and sisters we can trust to hold us accountable for our faith action. Lord, help us to make the time to spur one another on towards love and good deeds. May we take care of both our physical body and spiritual soul in Jesus name, Amen.

An Ounce of Prevention

On your wedding day, there could be emergencies that pop up. Therefore, greater minds than ours have come up with suggestions for a Wedding Day Emergency kit to make sure you have all the essentials at hand should something go awry. We've added a few of our own as well.

• Advil - just in case you get a headache
• Snack food - because you'll be so excited you may forget to eat. Make sure it's something with protein so it will last.
• Gum or mints - you will be kissing a lot and talking to lots of folks. Fresh breath would be nice.
•  A comb - for touch ups and flyaways. You might need hairspray, too.
• Mini sewing kit - a button could pop, something could tear. We saw a bride whose zipper broke and she had to be sewn into her dress. So have thread, needle and scissors at the ready.
• Extra makeup for touch ups - makeup can run and get wiped off, so have extra mascara, eyeliner, lipstick etc available. Rob and Anton ... this one isn't for you.
• Super glue - like the sewing kit, you make have something that breaks that needs a quick repair. Heel falls off, jewelry breaks. This will work in a pinch.
• Tide To Go - someone may spill something on you ... happened to me.
• Bandaids - you may get a blister or paper cut.
• Extra socks or panty hose - stupid run, perhaps a hole. Just never know.

Other things that have been suggested include clear nail polish, lint roller, water, hand sanitizer, lip balm, sunscreen, deodorant, dental floss, nail file and safety pins among other things.

So there you go. Set this check list out and put all these things together several days before the event. Then you have less to worry about the day of! As Benjamin Franklin once said, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." So be prepared!

Discussion: What are somethings listed here you would have never thought of? Are there other items you think should be in an emergency kit?

Prayer: Father, it never hurts to be prepared for any challenges that might come up. We pray, Father, all goes well during the weddings. And we pray, should there be a wedding "emergency" that there will be a simple, swift solution. In Jesus, Amen.

Quinquagenarian

Daddy hugged me last week and said, "We're going to be 100!" We both had a good laugh. After all we are indeed. Today your Daddy is 50 years old. For three whole days, he will not only have a different age as me, but be in a different decade from me. Don't think I'm not going to milk that for all it's worth for the next three days.

Your 50-year-old father is the love of my life. You know it's not until I notice the gray in his hair, the reading glasses on his nose or the groans of something new that might be aching, that I would even know he's 50. To me he is the improved version of the 18-year-old youth I met 32 years ago.

I want to tell you about the things that make him a great husband, so that Anton and Rob can learn from what he does to become equally so if not even better.

1) He is the spiritual leader in our home. It was not always that way. For years, I was the one spurring us to go to church, read our Bibles and get involved in church ... for 19 years to be exact. Save yourself the time and be the spiritual head now. C.S. Lewis said, "A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her." There are countless men who were brought to a personal relationship with Christ by the woman they love. Be the man Christ intends you to be right now. Pursue Him. Love Him. Worship Him. Read the Word and be accountable to it. Be the spiritual head of your household. Brad is certainly this now, especially now that he is a pastor. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:3, "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." So step up, felllas. Be the spiritual leader in the home.

2)  Brad is supportive. He does not subscribe to the thought that housework is the wife's responsibility and yard work and repairs are the man's responsibility. We share the duties around the house based on our talents and abilities. Likewise he is an encourager in activities or vocations I pursue.

 3) He is a provider. He has always taken on the responsibility of making sure our financial needs were met. Yes, I have been employed as well, but the majority of the responsibility has fallen squarely on his shoulders, and he has done so diligently, beautifully, enthusiastically and in the process glorifyingly so of the Lord.

4) He is romantic. Brad has never forgotten how to woo me. He is always looking for ways to bring joy and love to my heart. And likewise me to him. The 72-hour Valentine, surprises, gifts, trips, flowers, jewelry, romantic cards ... the dude's got it going on. Emulate that. Your wives will thank you.

5) He is hard working. Brad is no slacker. He gives everything he does 100 percent of himself. He is not satisfied with mediocrity. He doesn't do anything half way. Everything is done and done effectively. Oftentimes, it is done beyond what anyone expected. And he does this so humbly that he is often overlooked. But he can always be counted upon to meet commitments and exceed expectations.

6) Brad works hard to stay healthy. He was this way long before I met him, running faithfully and participating in countless sports. Diabetes put a kink in his health plans, but he has stayed on top of it making sure his blood sugars are within or as close to range as possible. He exercises just about every day and continually makes improvements in his eating habits, avoiding processed foods and junk. He still will play tennis, football, basketball and softball and regularly defeats others half his age in one-on-one competition. At 50 you see the value in staying healthy and strong.

7) He is an amazing lover. Cringe if you will, but this man is not out to please himself sexually. His goal is to please me. Thank you, Jesus, for that. Likewise, I wish to do the same for him. It's a beautiful, not to mention fun, balance. Know what it takes to sexually please your wife. This will come back to doubly bless you.

8) Brad is sensitive, sometimes more so than myself. The right mushy commercial, card or video can bring him to tears in seconds. His heart is true. He feels deeply. I love him all the more for it.

9) He has great empathy. He puts himself in your shoes. Brad has a habit of doing this almost immediately. He wants to know where you come from, how you got to where you are, why you feel about things as you do. At the same time, he is not willing to leave you in any state of self-pity or sin. While understanding where you came from, he expects you to seek Christ, better yourself and make good choices. As a result of this great empathy, he cares deeply for people around him.

10) He never looks back. Brad doesn't look back with regrets on past decisions or mistakes. They have brought him to where he is now and he appreciates the journey. He would never want to relive what's happened. He just moves forward in grace and repentance to make tomorrow better.

11) Brad listens. He wants to know your story, what you are going through. He hears you and when taking the time to process the information before responding, it is profound, well thought out and wise.

12) He apologizes. When Brad has done something wrong, he will never hesitate to say he is sorry. Makes me respect and love him all the more.

13) He takes care of me. I've mentioned the financial and spiritual parts above, but he truly watches out for me. If I've not called him, he worries about where I'm at. He is strong where I am weak. He's a cuddler. Loves to hug and pray. He meets needs you didn't even know you had. He makes me feel safe.

14) He makes me better. He puts up with me. I'm a quirky gal (he's a quirky guy, too). He supports the weird things I do, enjoys the crazy adventures I take us on and reels me in when necessary. He holds me accountable. It may be Hollywood cliche to say, but he "completes me."

15) Brad is an outstanding father. He loves his children. He enjoys listening to them, laughing with them, rejoices in their successes, supports their endeavors, corrects them when they head in the wrong direction, expects them to be responsible for themselves, prays for them daily, holds them accountable for their mistakes, encourages them to take risks and financially has met their needs.

How I love this man. He is a wonderful example of what a godly man, husband and father is. I am grateful to my heavenly Father that He was watching out for me by crossing my path with Brad's all those years ago in Iowa City, IA, of all places. Brad was praying for me long before he met me, thank you, Jesus. I glorify God for this man and will watch in wonder and anticipation for what his next 50 years will bring.

Happy Blessed Birthday, my beloved husband! I love you!

Discussion: What are somethings you as a man need to work on? What are your strengths?

Prayer: Lord,I cannot in this tiny prayer begin to completely thank you for everything you knit together so beautifully in my beloved husband. You have blessed me indeed, our family and so many others with how precious he is. Thank you, thank you. All glory and honor to you, Almighty Father, Amen.

First Comes Love. Then Comes Marriage. Then Comes ...

One of these days after your marriage you will have children. At least that is what I am hoping for. Psalm 127:3-5 says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!" Seeing many of my girlfriends delighting in grandbabies, I am excited for my turn to spoil children of my children. I know we're looking at years in the future, but we wanted to say a little something about children in a marriage, especially since we have no intentions of writing a nine-month pregnancy/raising children blog when that time comes.

1) We want to remind you, when you have children, those children do NOT come before your spouse. We know so many people who place their children ahead of their mate. That is not how God intended it. God, spouse, family in that order. Don't forget this. This is important when remembering to carve out time for yourselves as a couple (date nights, anniversary celebration).

2) You are not your children's friends. You are their parents. At least until they become adults. So many parents don't want to discipline their children because they want their children to like them as a friend. Do them a favor and just be their parent. They will have plenty of friends but only two parents. Plus, if you are loving them as a parent, it will make that transition to friend far easier when they are adults.

3) Discipline your children. Do not hesitate to say "no." And when you do, don't be wishy washy and give in. When you do, you've just shown your child that foundations and limits are not solid. They need the reassurance and confidence limits bring. Plus they will respect you more for it. Proverbs 29:17 says, "Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart." Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

4) Be a team. Be sure you agree on your discipline methods. Do not undermine one another. Children learn to play one parent off the other. This feeds into the above comment about setting a solid foundation.

5) Listen to them. They have much to tell you from that first coo through the rest of their lives. Really sit down and listen to what they are excited to share. Sometimes they are not as forthcoming with information (teens, especially) so ask questions that dig deeper. Once they open up, lots more comes out in conversation.

6) Respect them as small adults. It always drives us crazy to see parents treat their children like babies well into youth. Children are sucking up all the information they can to become responsible adults. If you baby them, do everything for them, without giving them a chance to explore, make mistakes and be responsible, you are harming them in ways that could take years to reverse ... and typically it happens later in adulthood at the hands of their boss.

7) Edify them. Make sure you build them up and encourage them. That doesn't mean give every kid on the team a medal or ribbon for participation. Their are winners and losers and they will need to learn that. However, they will need encouragement to reach goals and achieve dreams.

8) Tell them about Jesus. This is your responsibility. Read the Bible together. Set a time every day to do so if possible. Deuteronomy 6:7 says about teaching your children to fear the Lord and learn His commands, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Sing Christian songs together. Go to church. Get involved in Sunday School, youth programs and retreats. Surround your children with Christian fellowship. This will be their second family, especially if you live far from extended family. And pray for them every single day.

9) Spend quality time together. You only have those children through their senior year of high school, so spend time together teaching them, making memories, going on adventures and playing games. You will never ever say, "Wish I wouldn't have spent so much time with my kids."

10)  Love them, love them, love them. This should be pretty easy and a no brainer. They are God's precious gift, the perfect combination of you and your spouse, a physical manifestation of the two becoming one flesh, and it's breathtaking to behold. It is your job and privilege to love them unconditionally as Christ loves you.

That is just a few tiny bits, but key ones in raising children. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." One of the best decisions I ever made was taking a step back from my career (just a step - I did plenty of freelancing) to raise our children. They were some of the best years of my life. I don't have any regrets about that decision. Brad and I were a good team, loving our babies with our whole hearts. And they turned out pretty amazing, thank you, Lord Jesus. It's a job we highly recommend. And we look forward to the day when we can love, love, love and spoil, spoil, spoil your future children.

Discussion: Do you agree with the above bits of advice? Do you have a family plan? How do you feel about parenting?

Prayer: Lord, you blessed Brad and I with children that we love so dearly. We pray, Father, they will be obedient to You always. And we pray they will one day get the opportunity to be parents themselves. We love you, Father, and thank You for the example you provide for as as a Parent. In Christ, Amen.

Lá Bainise Shona!

Shamrocks, green, leprechauns, rainbows and luck o' the Irish to you! Today is St. Patrick's Day (and your Aunt Jodi Amoroso's birthday) and since we have some Irish in us, we thought's we'd take a look wedding traditions that hail from the Emerald Isle.

Engagements years ago were sealed with a handfasting, an ancient Celtic or pagan tradition, which nowadays is included in the wedding ceremony itself. It's where the bride and groom are holding hands and a cord is tied around their wrists, binding them to one another. The cord might be braided with significant colors to the couple or they may use a ribbon. This is where the term "tying the knot" comes from.

Bride's dresses were traditionally an icy blue and she might carry a horseshoe, ends up, to symbolize collecting good luck. This horseshoe is then hung in the couple's home. The bride might also carry bells to ward off evil spirits and a lacy handkerchief which is later made into a bonnet for the couple's first baby. The bride will probably need a purse for all this stuff!

The Claddagh ring is most popular for grooms, featuring two hands holding a crowned heart. The ring, around since the 1700s, represents loyalty, friendship and love. Sometimes both fiances would wear the Claddagh (which comes from a city near Galway) prior to the wedding with the end of the heart pointing away from the body then turn it around at the wedding so the end pointed toward the body, showing they were taken.

At the reception the couple might drink Poitín (or poteen), a whiskey made from potatoes (which grown in abundance in Ireland). They might also drink the honey wine, mead. We talked February 24 about how couples would drink mead for a phase of the moon, thus the honey moon. There are plenty of Irish drinks Ayla will certainly remember from her RiRa pub days. Toasting with a "Sláinte" for "Good health!"

The phrase "Your goose is cooked" is Irish and comes from weddings. Apparently a goose is cooked by the bride the night before the wedding. Once it's done, there's no turning back for the groom. Corned beef and cabbage is a popular wedding meal.

The traditional Irish wedding cake is more of a fruitcake. With all the tokens to ward away evil spirits, you wouldn't think you'd need a fruitcake, too.

You can do a little Irish gig, step dancing (think Riverdance) or even a traditional céilí (kay-lee) folkdance at the reception.

What is so interesting to us is that little bits and pieces of each of the nationalities we've learned about are already part of weddings and receptions in various ways. It is fun to see what other culture's customs are. So there are some Irish ones to choose from. Lá Bainise Shona (Happy Wedding Day)!

Discussion: What of the above traditions would you be willing to incorporate into your wedding or reception? Which are definite "no's."

Prayer: Father, how grateful we are to You, the Creator of all peoples and nations. Lord may everything that is part of the wedding and reception, bring You praise and glory. In Jesus' name, Amen.