You're Next!

Recently, Kayla and I were talking about garters. You know, the frilly elastic band worn on the leg, originally designed to hold up stockings (garter means to fasten or secure), that now traditionally has one purpose at a wedding ... to be tossed away. Apparently wearing one dates back to the days when weddings guests believed they would receive some of the newlywed couple's good luck if they ripped off a piece of her wedding dress to take home. Brides didn't want to have their pricy gowns shredded, so the garter toss was implemented. Now it's not multiple wedding guests going home with bridal gown bits, but just one bachelor who attends the reception. The garter, sitting just above the bride's knee, is removed by the groom, then tossed behind him to all the single gentlemen in attendance.

As to why the garter was worn in the first place, apparently it was proof of the bride's purity (garter belt and suspenders) and subsequently proof of consummation of the marriage when it was found later by family members on the wedding chamber floor. Ick. So tossing it pre-wedding night kept the family out of the bedroom. Why they would go in there the next morning is just creepy. As the years went on and the tradition changed, some drunken male guests of the wedding tried to get the garter off the bride themselves, which is why the groom did the honors and threw it before others tried.

My mother gave me my Grandma Elizabeth Swain's garter to wear at my wedding. It had some blue in it, so it was my "something blue." However, I didn't want to toss this family heirloom, so Brad and I decided I needed to wear a different garter to toss. Since he didn't like the St. Louis Cardinals, that was the garter we threw to the bachelors at our reception. Nowadays, new garters come in two packs for the same purpose: so one can be saved and one thrown away. I asked Gaga if she still had Grandma Swain's garter and she's checking on it.

I have seen some tacky ways grooms have removed the garter from the bride's leg (going head first under her dress and removing it with their teeth for example - or coming out with a pair of granny panties), but personally we think it lacks class. This is your new bride, and you're keeping this tradition in front of your guests ... friends, family and some who have never met you before that are friends of your parents. It's just doesn't show the best regard or honor to your spouse if done in a tasteless manner. So Tone and Rob ... we expect better.

Here's my suggestion for the ladies: wear a garter with softer satin or lace. With this on your leg most of the day, you don't want one with rough edges that could irritate you. I've seen some pretty lacy and blinged out ones, garters with the wedding date embroidered on it in blue, ones with a tiny bottle of alcohol attached and ones with personalized trinkets or charms on them.

The garter toss typically happens right after the bridal bouquet toss. As for the tosses, some folks plan ahead who they are throwing it to, but know that bachelorettes and bachelors will aggressively pursue it to make the catch, so your tosses may not go as planned. Plus you are throwing it behind you over your shoulder typically, so it's hard to predict where it's going to go. Those who catch the bouquet and garter are said to be the next to marry (not necessarily to each other). The bachelor then places the garter on the leg of the single lady that catches the bouquet. She later removes it for the bachelor to keep. Kayla and Tone shared they saw a clever idea to put the garter on a football with the words "You're next!" and the wedding couple's name and wedding date on it and throwing that.

Traditions can be fun. And it's always interesting to see where they got their start and put your own twist on it. But understand they don't all have to be incorporated if you feel remotely uncomfortable and honestly oftentimes are not even missed at receptions. It's just your personal preference. So have fun, make the wedding your own and stay classy.

Discussion: Is the garter important to you in the wedding. Do you have an idea of what kind of garter you want to use for the wedding?

Prayer: Lord, there are some interesting traditions involved with weddings. We pray we can be honoring of You and marriage itself in incorporating various traditions and still have fun. In Jesus, Amen.