Choose This Day

Standing on the Word of God and defending it is not easy. Ask any of the apostles. They defended their faith regularly, and just about every one was persecuted and even killed for it. But that should show their dedication to what they believed in. When given the choice to live and denounce what they believed, or suffer consequences by standing on the firm foundation of Christ, they chose the latter. They knew without a shadow of doubt in Whom they placed their trust. Christ said in John 14:6, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except by Me." Telling the lost about the saving grace of Christ was that important to them.

Knowing that history and having Christ Himself say in John 15:18, "If the world hates you, be aware that it hated me before it hated you." the idea of devoting oneself to proclaiming Him requires a thick skin ... or better yet, the "Whole Armor of God" as described in Ephesians 6:13-17.

In Joshua 24:15, he asks the Israelites, "Choose this day Whom you will serve ... but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." That service is not lip service. It is building the Kingdom, caring for God's children, proclaiming the Word and growing spiritually. It requires action, not just declaration. And we promise you, unfortunately there will be persecution because of your choice. Not perhaps to the extent of the apostles, but persecution nonetheless. Christ said in Matthew 10:34 "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword."  Much of that chapter speaks to the persecution Christians will have as sheep among wolves.

Doing this together will give you an advantage, as you support and uplift one another in the challenges life and culture throw at you. But this we guarantee: when you put Christ first in your life, you will be blessed beyond measure.

Our friend Mindy shared this testimony with us Sunday: She was employed in a company as a bookkeeper which gave her much flexibility to care for her two children who both had medical issues that required many doctors visits. At one point the boss she loved needed to take care of personal issues for a year abroad, signing a contract with a man to take over his business for a year. This new boss asked Mindy what her priorities were. She told him "God, then my husband, my children and work." He told her until she could make the job her number one priority, she didn't have a job there. After packing all her things and leaving the office, she cried and prayed to the Lord about how she would care for her family without a job. The next day she received a call from a business owner who asked if she would fix their bookkeeping problems. She agreed to, telling him to drop off his files. He brought by three years worth of work which she could do in her home - giving her the flexibility she needed. After that, others came to ask her to do the same work, and a new business was born. Praise the Lord in Heaven ... how He blessed her for standing up for Him.

The last three verses of the hymn Stand Up, Stand Up For Jesus by George Duffield Jr. say this:

Stand up, stand up for Jesus! The trumpet call obey:
Forth to the mighty conflict, in this His glorious day;
Ye that are men now serve Him against unnumbered foes;
Let courage rise with danger, and strength to strength oppose. 

Stand up, stand up for Jesus! Stand in His strength alone,
The arm of flesh will fail you, ye dare not trust your own;
Put on the gospel armor, and watching unto prayer,
Where calls the voice of duty, be never wanting there.

Stand up, stand up for Jesus! the strife will not be long;
This day the noise of battle, the next the victor’s song;
To him that overcometh a crown of life shall be;
He with the King of glory shall reign eternally.

When we married, the wife of the pastor who officiated for us gave us a needlepoint wall hanging with the Joshua 24:15 verse on it. It hung on our wall till it was lost in a move. Today we have it engraved on a tiny flat wooden house. We live by it. Choose Who you will serve and do so wholeheartedly. You will be blessed immeasurably for it.

Discussion: Do you think you could defend your faith under persecution? What are some things you do to serve the Lord actively?

Prayer: Lord, we ask that you give us courage for those times when we proclaim Your Word to those who disagree with it. We pray our words are guided by your Holy Spirit. And we pray for a hedge of protection around us as we stand in the gap. We love you, Father. Amen.

Pick A Side

A friend was sharing a story about her relationship with her mother-in-law recently. She said when her mother-in-law said jump, her husband asked how high. The mother-in-law would come over to their house and completely rearrange the furniture. When I asked what her husband said during those times, she said, "Just keep her happy while she's here." Immediately after her mother-in-law left, she would put the furniture back the way she wanted it. At Christmas the mother-in-law would insist on certain celebrations to which her son would instantly agree. When I asked if her husband ever supported her in these exchanges, she said no.

It was interesting that this story came on the heels of some marriage advice the pastor at Trinity UMC told me about more than a week ago. He said when he has marriage counseling with a couple, he always tells the groom the rehearsal dinner is pivotal. In his words, "I tell him that there will inevitably be a discussion about some part of the wedding where the mother of the bride will want one thing and the mother of the groom will want another. I tell him it is important at that moment for him to turn to his future bride and ask what she wants and support it, telling the other two his bride's decision is final." Brother Ken said way the groom lets both mothers know the couple is a team and that his wife will have his complete support. After hearing my friend Jackie's story above, I see the value in Ken's advice. Apparently some couples forget they are now responsible for their own homes and decisions and kowtow to their former parent. And if you are younger, you fear disagreeing with your parent will be disrespectful.

So there you go - stay tough and support each other, better yet, as the Bible says, "cleave to one another" Gen. 2:24. And on this end, as a future mother-in-law I will try to stay out of the way. :)

Discussion: Do you think there will be any difficulty in dealing with parents after you are married? Do you resolve to support one another, even if it may be against what your parents would suggest or want?

Prayer: Lord, we know you are our first priority and that our spouse if to become our second priority before any other person. We pray we remember to work as a team in support of one another. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Let Them Eat Cake

One bite and we knew. Cakes by Ron. Moist. Melt in your mouth. Creative. Delicious flavors. Gorgeous presentation. We knew it the moment he handed us a sample cupcake - make that cupcakes - at the Bridal Show in Sarasota. Seasalt Caramel, Boston Creme, Red Velvet. How to decide?! They were all delicious. When I asked Ayla if she would be shopping around for bakers she said, "Why? Cakes By Ron was the best." I understand Rob and Ayla will be picking out cake flavors and the design with Rob's dad and stepmom when they visit soon. we are excited to hear about what will be chosen. I know Ayla has said she wanted a beachy looking cake and sent me a couple pictures of what she was thinking about. Adirondack chairs on top and seashells.

I don't know whether you could consider this the forerunner of the wedding cake, but apparently in ancient Rome a loaf of bread was broken above the head of the bride to bring them good luck. Then everyone would eat the crumbs to have a little of the luck for themselves. In the Middle Ages, brides and grooms would kiss over several cakes piled one on top of another, sometimes ridiculously high. If they could kiss over the cake, it meant prosperity for them. Later someone got the idea to cover all the cakes with frosting. One fellow, in an effort to impress his bride, made his cake to look like St. Bride's Church in London. Seeing the steeple on top of the church, you can see how wedding cakes today got their look.

Of course at the reception, the groom and bride cut the cake together then feed a piece of it to each other. Shenanigans can follow with smashing and the like. Your Daddy threatened to squish some cake on me, but I got him pretty good ... then proceeded to lick it off him. It was pretty funny. Our cake was topped in a bouquet of flowers with candles spiraling up it. The candle idea was not the best as it eventually caught the bouquet on fire - our caketastrophy - but it was under control pretty quickly. My mom surprised me by having our wedding cake be chocolate on the inside. You are supposed to save the top tier to eat on your 1st anniversary. Daddy and I did this and it tasted horrible, but I have heard others say theirs survived the 365-day freeze and was yummy.

The Bible mentions several cakes, but none associated with a wedding. Most were unleavened cakes used for offerings or guests (Gen. 18:6, Ex. 29:2, Lev.7:12, ). Others were barley or fig cakes (1 Sam. 25:18), not much like the sweet desserts we have today. So doubtful when Christ was at the wedding in Cana, did he see a tiered, white, fondant-covered confection.

We are excited to hear what both couples choose for your wedding cakes. We know they will be unique and beautiful ... and we hope delicious.

Discussion: What is your favorite flavor cake? What do you want to see on top of your cake? Do you have an idea for its design?

Prayer: Lord, a cake at the wedding will not provide good luck or prosperity, but will be a yummy treat for the guests. We pray, Father, both couples can find affordable and delicious cakes for their reception. We love you, Father. In Jesus, Amen.

Entertaining Angels

I've been doing some hotel block hunting. Trying to find the best group rate for hotels in the Bradenton area for our wedding guests. With nearly everyone coming from out of state, we want to have a nice place for them to stay in close proximity to the venue. It's hard for me to do this far from there, but doing the research nonetheless. There are some decent rates, and some high ones also. Praying we can find one that works for everyone. I am hoping it will be like a big family/friend reunion for everyone attending. In an ideal situation, we'd all have friends to stay with in the area and save a bundle. Right now, looks like the best deal we've found is $107 + 11.5% tax, decent by Florida standards, but steep for wedding standards. Going to pray about this one as rates get locked down.

Hospitality is of top priority in the Scriptures. Hebrews 13:2 says, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." 1 Peter 4:9 says, "Show hospitality to one another without grumbling." Romans 12:13 says, "Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality." It is important to the Lord that strangers and visitors feel welcomed. Of course, this was to people inviting others to their homes, not to a destination, so we're in a little different situation here. But we will have fun being hospitable at the reception.

I know how much hospitality in the form of customer service means to both Ayla and Rob since they are in the hospitality/food service industry. But this also extends to the welcoming of guests to your future homes. As married couples, you will have the opportunity to host people in your homes, and you want them to feel as welcome as possible. When we first married, I wasn't very good at this. For one thing, I panicked thinking our resources wouldn't be enough to accommodate guests. This shows a true lack of faith and trust in our Father. If He wants us to be hospitable, will He not provide to make it possible? What you give you get back tenfold, so a generous spirit in hospitality will most certainly be blessed. So be welcoming and don't worry. Give it to God.

How can you be a good host? Meet, exceed and anticipate their needs. What do they like to eat or drink? Do they like fluffy or flat pillows (or bring their own)? Any allergies? Provide drinking cups, soap/body wash, shampoo, conditioner, extra towels and washcloths in the bathroom. Keep some extra toothbrushes/toothpaste on hand just in case they forgot. I'll never forget the one time Ayla and I stayed with friends who provided us with bathrobes, Perrier, DVDs to watch and magazines to read! Yes, they went above and beyond, and it was pretty cool. Your Busha has always been the most precious host. Even providing bath scrunchies and offering to wash our clothes. She always fills up the candy jars with Rice Krispie treats, Fruit By The Foot and Riesens. When we come we feel welcomed and loved. When people are traveling, they already are out of their comfort zones away from home, so you want to make them feel as welcome and comfortable as possible.

So while we won't be able to show hospitality in the "stay with us" sense for the wedding, we can certainly search for the best place that will treat our guests special. It won't be home away from home, but perhaps a party, a celebration, a vacation. We are looking forward to it!

Discussion: Tell about a place where you felt welcomed when visiting. Tell about a place where you did not feel welcomed. What are some things you like to do for visitors?

Prayer: Lord, you tell us we need to reach out to the sojourner and make them feel at home. We pray we are welcoming to guests. We also pray for your blessing on those times In Jesus name, Amen.

Sweeter Than Honeymoon

When doing research about Italian wedding traditions, I learned about the origin of the honeymoon. Apparently, newlyweds would eat honey every night during an entire moon phase after their wedding, thus the honeymoon. Others say is was mead the couple drank for a month after the wedding. Mead was made of fermented honey and water. Guess "meadmonth" didn't catch on for the post-wedding trip moniker.

These days the honeymoon is the much needed getaway the couple takes after their wedding. It's a time just for the couple, one of intimacy, love and fun. Of late, lazy mornings and sweet, sultry nights ... or vice versa.

Now some folks will use this as a vacation time to go see something new and do some touring. But let us make something very clear to you if you don't already know this: the honeymoon is for sex. Lots and lots of sex. If you plan on making your honeymoon a touring time, you truly have a sad view of the honeymoon. Now we're not saying you can't go see new things and take adventures. We're saying if you plan a day-to-day schedule of places to go and things to see, that is just messed up. It's supposed to be a sweet time with your honey. A time to relax and get to know each other on a personal and physical level. It is also a time to have fun after the sometimes stress of wedding planning and before you return to normalcy and the regular work day.

I know Ayla and Rob have tossed around the idea of seeing the Florida Keys. And Anton and Kayla have mentioned going to the Garden City Beach, SC condo we have frequented where Ayla and Rob were engaged and where Brad and I had our honeymoon. Both ideas are good choices because you can do pretty much whatever you want without feeling pressure to sightsee. I will share that the most recent episode of Brides magazine surveyed 136 brides to ask them if they could do the whole wedding planning over again, what they would splurge on and most brides said "an even better honeymoon." Food for thought.

Did you know the honeymoon is sorta mentioned in Scripture? In Deuteronomy 24:5 it says, "When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be charged with any related duty. He shall be free at home one year, so he can bring happiness to the wife whom he has married." A whole year! Imagine!

Notice that the honeymoon in ancient times was to last a month. These days, that's pretty hard for full-time employees to try to pull off. But we would recommend the honeymoon last not a week, or month or even a year ... but a lifetime. Not the trip, of course, but the giggly, tender, loving, passion you have during that time. Don't ever let it wane.

So make your plans for a fun, stress-free, sweeter-than-honeymoon ... the trip and the marriage.

Discussion: Where would you like to go for your honeymoon? What do you want to do on your honeymoon? Do you plan on going immediately after your wedding?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, you tell us when a couple is married that two become one flesh. The honeymoon is the place where that all begins in glory and honor to You. Thank you for what you have created for couples. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Felice Giorno Del Matrimonio!

After learning that Rob's grandmother was Italian, we decided to check into Italian wedding traditions to see if there were any you may want to incorporate into your celebration.

First off, it is customary for the bride to wear something green during the rehearsal dinner - an emerald piece of jewelry or green clothing - to symbolize good luck. As Ayla loves emeralds, this should work.

Not only is the groom not allowed to see the bride prior to the wedding, but the bride - in some areas of Italy - isn't even allowed to see herself before the wedding.Yeah, knowing Ayla, that ain't happening.

A ribbon is placed on the church doorway to symbolize a wedding is taking place. The groom carries a piece of iron (toc ferro) to ward off evil spirits. Make that a cast iron skillet and you can just whack them away.

Bridesmaids were actually supposed to be married women as unmarried women weren't allowed at Italian weddings in the ancient days.

Pasta is the traditional reception meal of choice, of course.

A toast is made to the happy couple saying “Per Cent’anni” which means “for 100 years" signifying how long you want the marriage to last. Others will break a glass or vase and count the number of pieces, which symbolize the number of blissful years you will have together. Should you do this, we suggest smashing it into thousands of tiny pieces.
.
At the reception, the bride carries around a satin bag to collect money in envelopes from guests to help pay for the wedding. She also can collect money for a dance - like the dollar dance we've talked about previously.

At the reception, guests will dance "La Tarantella" or “the tarantula." The tarantula was named for a wolf spider from the Taranto region of Italy. The dance sounds frightening, but actually it's just a dance were everyone - sometimes holding tamborines - encircles the bride and groom. They speed up and changed directions depending on the beat of this spider song. If you were bit by a spider, running around supposedly sweat out the venom. At weddings, however, it's about wishing the couple good luck.

Confetti - actually almonds covered in sugar - was originally thrown at the bride and groom, but now is given as favors to the reception guests. The number of almonds tied up in tulle and given to guests must be odd, not even.

While some traditions will have cans dangling from the getaway car, the Italians like to decorate the front or grill of the car with flowers to symbolize "la dolce vita" or the sweet life ahead.

So there you go! Pick and choose. But it would sure be funny - and even appropriate - to see Rob carrying an iron skillet at the ceremony. Felice giorno del matrimonio! (Happy Wedding Day!)

Discussion: Are there any Italian traditions you would like to incorporate into your wedding? Which are a definite "no?"

Prayer: Lord, we thank you for the sweet life ahead for our engaged couples. We pray, Lord, for blessings and joy on their wedding days! In Christ, Amen.

22!

 You know how much Daddy loves the number 22. Today's date is pretty much the reason for that. Feb. 22 is Great Grandpa Anton Zimanek's birthday. Today he would have been 101 years old. Daddy didn't just like 22 because it was his grandfather's birthday, although that would have been enough. He also liked it because Great-Grandpa Anton shot a .22. "It was the first gun I shot," Daddy says. From childhood on, your Daddy would always choose #22 for his jersey in baseball, basketball and football when he would play. It was a tribute to this man who your father respected more than any other man ... and deservedly so.

Grandpa was a pretty cool guy. What your Daddy said he felt from his Grandpa was unconditional love. "I felt it from him immediately. Don't get me wrong, he was strict. You worked hard when you were with him, but I loved it, cause it was fun. I would do anything with him," he said. He explains that one of the best days of his life was when he was 6 years old and had worked all day with Grandpa grinding corn, collecting eggs, feeding the cows and picking apples. Grandpa then took him to Mary Nelson's country store and gave him a dollar, where your Daddy bought the 1971 NFL preseason magazine with John Brodie, quarterback for the 49ers, on the cover. "I still have it," Daddy says. "It signifies hard work and love."

I asked your Daddy what he learned about marriage from his Grandpa. He said Grandma and Grandpa held hands all the time and kissed a lot. "They were never afraid of public displays of affection," he says. Great Grandpa always thought his wife was his beautiful bride. "This is even after 60+ years of marriage," Daddy says. "You can't make that up. You felt it when you were with him. I mean, they fought, yeah, but he would do anything for her." When they did fight, Grandpa would go take a walk saying he didn't want to say anything he'd later regret. I remember how precious they were together. Lot's of giggling between them.

Brad said a year before Grandpa died, they were sitting under a tree on a hill overlooking the Big Rock when he said to your Daddy, "Have sex as often as you can, because there will come a day when you can't and you wish you could." I personally remember him talking about Grandma's "fluffy pillows" when referring to her, ahem, chest.

Of course the first thing we always think about Grandpa is him singing "How Great Thou Art." He sang it every day with his dog Scottie as they walked a trail on his Sobieski, WI property. And I'm pretty sure both Ayla and Anton remember hearing him sing it. Your Daddy still tears up when he sings it. Great Grandpa loved the Lord. Your Daddy says he remembers seeing Grandpa get excited on Easter morning about going to worship the Risen Christ.

Your Daddy thought enough of Great Grandpa to name our son after him. It is the highest honor we could pay him and honestly a perfect namesake as one to emulate for Anton.

So Grandpa's marriage advice ... show love often, have fun, love passionately, work hard, take care of each other and love your Lord. We look forward to visiting in Heaven with him and Grandma one day to play a game of pinochle. Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

Discussion: What do you remember about Great Grandpa Anton? Of his advice, what is something you would want to apply to your marriage?

Prayer: We thank you, Lord, for the life of Anthony "Anton" Walter Zimanek, Sr. He loved you, Lord, and set an example to follow in worship of you. We thank you for all our journey's in life and the lives that intersect with ours. In Jesus, Amen.

Dripping Rain

"Why do you do it that way?
"How much did you spend on that?"
"When are you going to finish this?"
"Do you always have to do that?"
"Why am I always the one to do this?"

Can you feel the weight of the above questions? It's grating, isn't it? Like scratching away at the outer lever of who we are. Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. Another word for it is "pestering." Sometimes it's even called "hectoring," which means to bully, intimidate, harass and browbeat. Did you know the Bible warns against it? Proverbs 27:15-16 says, "A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand." We know Solomon wrote most of Proverbs, and with 700 wives, I'm guessing he dealt with quite a few quarrelsome wives, thus the verse above. But while it refers to a quarrelsome wife, that could just as easily be flopped to refer to the husband. And for that matter from parent to children. And who wants to have continual dripping?

So why the nagging? Every married couple stoops to it at one point or another. And honestly, it probably gets its start when a spouse has originally asked kindly about something to no avail and proceeds to the repetitive asking, then onto nagging. So how to avoid it?

Well, to start off, from the receiving end, try to deal with the item at hand as soon as you agree it. It shows responsibility and respect for the other spouse. But if you can't get to it right away or don't want to do what is requested, explain why and set a time period for it's completion or an alternative suggestion. This is just common sense and kindness, honestly.

From the dishing end ... just don't. How's that for simple? You don't like to be nagged, so don't nag. Back off. Think about what you're saying before it comes out of your month. If your spouse is not doing something you like or to the speed with which you'd prefer, ask yourself how you would like to be informed of such a thing. Proceed with caution and love, gentleness and respect. Let's see, how's that Bible verse go? Oh yeah, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." It's called the Golden Rule and comes straight out of the Sermon on the Mount.

You know what continual dripping does? Aside from making everything all wet, over time, it erodes. You don't want to erode your spouse. Something not to your liking? Pray about your approach. You'll save a lot of time, weariness and grief over the mundane.

Discussion: Do you nag at one another? What usually brings yourself to the point of nagging? What is something you can do to keep yourself from nagging? Is there anything you do or don't know that spurs your fiance to nag?

Prayer: Lord, You tell us to let our conversation be full of grace (Col. 4:6) and to imitate You (Eph. 5:1). May we say and do reflect as such. May we love, respect and edify one another. In Jesus name, Amen.

Symbol of Love

Looks like both the guys have found wedding bands! Anton decided awhile ago that he wanted to wear Great Uncle Louie Zimanek's ruby ring (the one Daddy wore for our 15th anniversary vow renewal). And Rob has just decided on a burnished tungsten carbide band - durable and 10 times harder than gold, good for folks who work with their hands a lot, say like a chef. Both are classy and gorgeous. I think if Anton could pull it off, he'd want The Lord of the Rings "One Ring To Rule Them All." Personally, we think Uncle Louie's is better.

Back in Egyptian times, reeds were twisted together and wrapped around fingers in a perfect circle. No end to the circle, it meant a lifetime together. An eternity. Of course, these reed rings didn't last quite that long and were replaced with bone or even ivory rings, then later more precious metals like gold and silver. While throughout the years, the ring has been worn on different fingers (even the thumb), it's settled on the fourth finger for reasons we explained in a previous blog ... it was thought a vein went straight to the heart from this finger. The Vena Amoris or vein of love. Actually there are veins from every finger to the heart, so medically the now-called "ring finger" does have a vena amoris. They all do.

The point of this ring is to remind the wearer and all those in viewing, that this person is off the market. He/she is married. And the ring seals the deal. Some of the vows said when the ring is placed on the left hand include:

• "As this ring has no end, neither shall my love for you."
• "With this ring, I thee wed."
• "I place this ring upon your hand as a sign of my love and fidelity."
• "With this ring I pledge my love and life to you."
• "I offer this ring as a token of our love."
• "I give you this ring as a pledge of my love and commitment."
• "I offer this ring to you as a symbol of my love and of the vows I have just spoken."

 It's a symbol of the covenant made before the Creator of marriage. Except for a good cleaning, the ring doesn't come off. By God's grace, your Daddy's doesn't ever come off. While the ring fits perfectly, it can't make it over the knuckle, so it's on there snug, the way it should be. While there is no mention of wedding rings in the Bible, there are plenty of symbols used by God and man to symbolize a covenant (rainbow, circumcision, pillars), so to do likewise with a wedding ring is appropriate.

You want it to be comfortable. You want it to be durable. You want it to be something you love. You want it to mean something special to you. We think what both of you men have chosen fulfills all that and is classic and classy. Well done.

Discussion: What was the process you went through to decide on your wedding ring? What symbolism is important for you in wearing a wedding band? 

Prayer: Father, a symbol of a covenant made before you is a wonderful reminder of the value of it. We pray, Lord God, that we remember every time we look at our rings of the promise we made and the love we share. In Christ, Amen.

Hey 22-Year-Old Self

I asked Daddy the other day, if he could go back in time and visit his 22-year-old self prior to getting married, what he would say to him. His comments were precious and eye opening. Lean in to listen.

• "Listen to the old people." He said they will be gone before you know it and have so much wisdom and amazing stories to tell. They have gone through a lot in their lives. You will learn a lot from them. Suck up what they have to say. It will help with the journey.

• "It's gone in the blink of an eye." Daddy said to cherish every moment as it happens ... the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon, the early years as a couple, the precious years with young children, fun with older children, the empty nest. Every season passes quicker than you can imagine, so enjoy it as it happens.

• "Get yourself to church." He says you need recharged. You need to hear God's word preached. You need to be surrounded by other Christians. We spend so much of our life in and of the world, we need to be reminded we don't belong to it.

• "Love your wife. Please her and it will come back to you tenfold." Coming from his wife ... DO THIS!
  
• "It is so hard to make your way in this world. You put so much energy into your job and then wonder what all those hours were for." Create a balance between work and life. Work is to bless life and the lives of others around you. Don't let it consume life.

• "You don't know everything." You will think you do, but you don't. Which harkens back to that first comment above.

•  "Be kind." It's what God would want you to do.

He is a wise man, your Daddy. Save yourself a lot of time, missed opportunities and trials, and just listen to him. Because you can't go back in time to visit your 22-year-old self, but you can tell your 20-something children.

Discussion: What of the above statements resonate with you? Is there anything of the above that you could work on?

Prayer: Thank you, Lord, for the wisdom of experience, but mostly for the wisdom of listening to wisdom! Lord, we pray we are attentive when people who have been on the journey longer, help us along with ours. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Repent & Believe The Good News!

Today is Ash Wednesday. It is the first day of the season of Lent which includes the 40 days plus Sundays prior to Easter. There is no mention of Lent in the Bible. Lent is a church tradition which started early, with some traditions saying as early as the 12 disciples themselves. It was oiginally honored for one or two days - 40 hours or the time thought Christ was in the tomb. Later at the Council of Nicea in 325 A.D, the 40 days was mentioned. It was designed to represent the 40 days of temptation Christ went through following His baptism. People would fast from specific kinds of foods or drink - meat, sweets or alcohol. It was as time of fasting to focus on our Lord. Preparing our hearts for the celebration of the risen Christ following a horrific crucifixion on our behalf.

Since Lent isn't mentioned in the Scriptures, our family made mention of it, but did not enforce a celebration of it or sacrifice. We told our children about it and gave them the option to "give up something" if they wanted, but we more wanted them to take the time to make an extra effort to focus on Christ, whether reading through Scriptures, having prayer time or serving God's children in some way. A proactive Lent verses a sacrificial one. But either is beneficial if done to God's glory.

We don't mention this because we feel you should, as a couple, do any kinds of specific Lent traditions, but we do hope that in the time leading up to Easter, you will certainly make an effort to keep your eyes on the risen Christ. One thing proving to be Christ-centering is to read through the four Gospels chronologically in the days leading up to Easter. A schedule has been provided for you, should you want to do this. We highly recommend it. Praying your souls are enriched and blessed during this Lenten season.

Feb. 18: Luke 1; John 1:1-14                        Feb. 19: Matt 1; Luke 2:1-38
Feb. 20: Matt 2; Luke 2:39-52                       Feb. 21: Matt 3; Mark 1; Luke 3
Feb. 22: Matt 4; Luke 4-5; John 1:15-51        Feb. 23: John 2-4
Feb. 24: Mark 2                                           Feb. 25: John 5
Feb. 26: Matt 12:1-21; Mark 3; Luke 6           Feb. 27: Matt 5-7
Feb. 28: Matt 8:1-13; Luke 7                        March 1: Matt 11
March 2: Matt 12:22-50                               March 3: Matt 13; Luke 8
March 4: Matt 8:14-34; Mark 4-5                   March 5: Matt 9-10
March 6: Matt 14; Mark 6; Luke 9:1-17          March 7: John 6
March 8: Matt 15; Mark 7                             March 9: Matt 16; Mark 8; Luke 9:18-27
March 10: Matt 17; Mark 9; Luke 9:28-62      March 11: Matt 18
March 12: John 7-8                                     March 13: John 9:1-10:21
March 14: Luke 10-11; John 10:22-42           March 15: Luke 12-13
March 16: Luke 14-15                                  March 17: Luke 16-17:10
March 18: John 11                                      March 19: Luke 17:11-18:14
March 20: Matt 19; Mark 10                         March 21: Matt 20-21
March 22: Luke 18:15-19:48                        March 23: Mark 11; John 12
March 24: Matt 22; Mark 12                         March 25: Matt 23; Luke 20-21
March 26: Mark 13                                      March 27: Matt 24
March 28: Matt 25                                       March 29: Matt 26; Mark 14
March 30: Luke 22; John 13                         March 31: John 14-17
April 1: Matt 27; Mark 15                             April 2: Luke 23; John 18-19
April 3: Matt 28; Mark 16                             April 4: Luke 24; John 20-21

                      April 5: HE IS RISEN! HAPPY EASTER!

Discussion: Have you ever given up anything for Lent? Do you feel it is necessary? What are somethings you like to do for Lent?

Prayer: Father, prepare our hearts during these days leading up to the celebration of Easter. May we always remember the depth of Your love in sending Christ Jesus and all He did for us. We pray our lives will reflect that love to the lost around us. In the name of the Savior, Redeemer, Teacher,Jesus, Amen.

Sing Sweet Songs

Recently my sister posted a song written in the early 1990s to her Facebook page. The song was written by Judianne Castle, and her 3-year-old daughter Amy sang it. The song is usually referred to as "You're My Honey Bunch" or "The Cuppy Cake Song." As soon as I heard this song, I knew I had to memorize it. It's a catchy tune that is sure to make every soul smile. Within about 20 minutes I had it. So I tried it out on your Daddy. I think at first he may have thought the song was goofy, even annoying, but now, he asks me to sing it to him. When I do, I can see the stress completely drain from him. It's amazing to watch. It's like warmth and peace take over where the strains of the day used to be. When I shared this with a friend last week she said, "It's his Soft Kitty song." We both giggled when she said it, because she was correct in her comment. The Big Bang Theory television show fans are familiar with the song Sheldon Cooper's mother would sing to him when he was sick. It was the song that made everything okay. For me it's when your Daddy sings "You Are My Sunshine," the song his grandfather used to sing all the time.

Stress is an everyday occurrence. In today's culture, it seems you cannot be in the workforce unless you are completely stressed out. I do not think that is as God intended, but that is certainly how it's grown. We are supposed to work, and work hard, but not to the breaking point. And it seems more and more employers are attempting to squeeze every last drop of creative energy from their employees until they have nothing left to give, piling on more and more as workforces are scaled back.

So it's the norm, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. You both will have stresses. We all know the culinary business is high stress (many drink or smoke to deal with it). And the sports industry is likewise stressful, as Anton is sure to see. The news business certainly is, as is being a pastor. It's just the way it is. So the question is, how do you deal with it? And you certainly need to because stress is the cause of so many different physical ailments, that if you don't deal with it, you're asking for trouble.

Smoking, drinking and eating are not appropriate responses to stress. They will only compound the health problems. Exercise is known for its stress relieving qualities, not to mention health benefits. Taking time to be in prayer, a devotion time, can breathe new life into a stressed soul. Remember that the Lord said he will take all our burdens for us (1 Peter 5:7). Soft music, a humorous show, saying "no" to extra things, communicating, a bubble bath, taking a walk, getting fresh air, a round of golf, window shopping, a massage, immersing yourself in a fun hobby, taking a vacation, hugs and making sure to get enough rest time are all excellent ways to let the stress melt away. So be sure to consciously make the effort to deal with stresses of life in a "soft kitty" way. Otherwise you could take out those stresses on one another, and you certainly don't want to do that. Be sure to support one another in each other's stress relieving methods. It may even be something you enjoy to do together.

And perhaps find that "Cuppy Cake" song to sing to one another that brings you sweet peace.

Discussion: What stresses you out? What are things you like to do to take away the stress? Do you have a "Cuppy Cake" or "Soft Kitty" song that takes the stress away?

Prayer: Father, we know that you are the bringer of peace and we pray when we get stressed out that we know just whispering Your name brings comfort to our souls. Help us to support one another when we are de-stressing. In the sweetest name of all, Jesus, Amen.

Marriage Book Club

At Bible study a couple Sundays ago, the speaker said this: "Christian authors do not write books so that people will read them and just set them on the shelf to collect dust. Christian authors write books so that people will apply what they've learned to become better Christians." He was encouraging people to continue to learn and study in their faith to become better disciples to grow the Kingdom. And for Daddy and I, since marriage is a team to grow the Kingdom, reading to better your marriage is just as important.

So we wanted to take a devotion to recommend some books for you to read - either alone to together - that we think are excellent resources for marriage.

Love Life For Every Married Couple: How To Fall In Love, Stay In Love, Rekindle Your Love by Dr. Ed Wheat & Gloria Okes Perkins. This is our favorite book on marriage and the one we give a copy to every married couple at their wedding. Our copy is pretty worn out. It is filled with highlights, underlined passages and stars to mark what we want to remember. It has chapters on subjects like "Becoming Best Friends," "A Pattern For Lovers," and "The Secret of Staying In Love (Especially For Newlyweds)." Our copy originally belonged to my mother (her address is stamped across the pages at the bottom). Every so often we pull that book out and reread it together. It is a wonderful resource for loving each other the way God intended. If you do not have a copy, you can be sure we will get you one.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. This book is designed to help you better communicate by finding out what way your spouse best receives love: through gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and/or physical touch. We need to speak our spouses love language to them, not assume they enjoy receiving love the way we do.

The Resolution For Men by Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick, Randy Alcorn. This book is geared strictly for men, but we promise it will make a marriage better for both.It was birthed after the movie "Courageous." It challenges men to be the best kind of Christian man, even asking them to sign a resolution at the end based on characteristics like responsibility, faithfulness, honor, justice, forgiveness, integrity, and courage. Brad says every man needs to read this book. He's given out probably 100 of them.

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. This book teaches women how to better understand the mind of a man. His need for respect, his role as provider and thoughts on sex and appearance. It gives you a much better understanding and answers lots of questions.

There are many other books on marriage, and we shared our recommendations about books on sex on Feb. 8. We have just found the above to be thorough, Scripture focused and practical to apply. You can never stop learning how to be a better Christian in all the different aspects of it from evangelism, to health, to parenting, to forgiveness, marriage and so on. So don't ever stop looking to those God has inspired to write about them ... especially the Bible itself. As 2 Timothy 3:16 says, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." Then apply what you've learned and see what a difference it makes in you.

Discussion: Have you already read some books about marriage? Do you think it is important to continue to seek out resources for Christian growth?

Prayer: Lord, we thank You for the words Your children have written to help us better adhere to Christian principles to make us better disciples, husbands, wives, evangelists, children, parents and teachers. Father, give us a drive to want to learn more. In our Great Teacher Jesus Christ, Amen.

What Do You Expect?

You can't expect your spouse to know what you are thinking. You cannot expect your spouse to meet your every need or want. You cannot expect your spouse to change into what you are expecting. You cannot expect your spouse to meet your expectations, especially if they have no clue what those expectations are. And you cannot set those expectations high.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day who was telling me about advice she gave her daughers about husbands. She said to them, "They do not change. You cannot change them. What you see is what you get, so you better be sure it's what you want."

Now we would agree with her to point. Firstly, we would say any person who enters into a relationship thinking they can change the other person, train them to do something differently or mold them into something else they want is setting themselves up for years and years of heart break. It just isn't realistic. However, we do believe that with God all things are possible (Mark 9:23). So if there are attributes you wish to see bettered in your future spouse, you can certainly petition God and ask Him to do a work in them. After all, I prayed God would bring my sweet husband into a personal relationship with Christ, but understand it took 19 years for him to get there. Worth it, yes, but that's a long time to wait for a change that I could not force or instill in him myself.

However, you can communicate to each other about what you are hoping for in your relationship, and we recommend you do that early and often. Have a dialogue to see if it's possible to meet expectations you have for one another, whether in household chores, celebrations, parenting, career and church commitments. Be honest and open. Never assume the other should already know what you want and be meeting that. Communicate, communicate, communicate. And do it with gentleness and love. Remember it's about mutually benefiting one another and building each other up as you make this earthly journey together.

Discussion: Do you have certain expectations for your spouse? Are you willing to patiently wait for change?

Prayer: Lord, we thank you for the expectations you put on us: to do justice, love kindness,and walk humbly with you (Micah 6:8). May we do that always, and not set ourselves so high that we falsely expect others to achieve or reach what we cannot even attain. In Jesus, Amen.

The Greatest of These

St. Valentine was martyred for marrying couples, did you know that? At least that's how one of the legends goes. The Romans decided to ban marriage for their soldiers during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Valentine went against the ban and married couples. Other stories say Claudius asked Valentine to renounce his faith and when he didn't, had Valentine beaten and beheaded. It was several centuries later before Feb. 14 was declared Valentine's Day and nearly a millennium before celebration of the date began with love notes.

For a fellow who had a soft spot for love and marriage, Valentine's Day is worth celebrating. Hearts, red and pink clothes, mushy words of love and romantic dates are great ways to celebrate love. When Daddy and I dated in college we always put Valentine notes in the newspaper to each other. We've gotten a card for each other every year and tried to celebrate the in some romantic way.

We are particularly happy that we celebrate a holiday dedicated to love. Since God is love (1 John 4:8) and we love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19), we wanted to take a good look at what exactly God expects from us with regards to it. So we're taking a look at 1 Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter. Hoping Ayla doesn't roll her eyes here. Her opinion is that this chapter is overused at weddings, and it is read quite often, but you cannot discount the beautiful words about love that Paul uses here. The whole chapter is wonderful. In verses 4-9 he writes:

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

Then it concludes in verse 13: "And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love." It's poetic and weighty at the same time. It shows our Father's value on love (not to mention His insistence that we love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and our neighbor as our self - Matt.22:38-39). Love is required of us as Christians. And love between a husband and wife is a beautiful example of how Christ loved the church. True love exhibits the patience, kindness, rejoicing, truth and hope listed above. It is something we strive for. 1 John 3:11 says, "For this is the message you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another." It's the message God has tried to impart on us when the world began.

On Valentine cards, you will see pictures of tiny naked, winged baby Cupid's with little arrows taking aim at hearts on behalf of love. While Cupid (a Roman mythological god) is obviously not in Scripture and nothing like the Cherub angels in the Bible, the premise of taking aim for love is Biblical. 1 Corinthians 14:1 says, "Let love be your greatest aim." So aim directly at the heart, take it seriously and love as Christ intended ... the way He did.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Discussion: What attributes of love listed in 1 Corinthians 13 do you need to work on? Take a moment right now to tell your fiance what you love about him/her.

Prayer: Father, we rejoice with you that a holiday has been set aside to celebrate love. May we, Father, show that love to one another with depth Christ did. We love you, Lord God, and thank you for your steadfast love that endures forever. (Psalm 136).

Romance Me

Most women love romance. Love it. We want to be wooed. We want to be surprised. We want to be cherished. We want to know our spouse is making the effort to think about us enough to plan something special to celebrate us. We like sweet gifts like flowers, jewelry, balloons, love notes, cards, dinner out, a show and chocolate. And with Valentine's Day tomorrow, it is important that men are prepared.

We girls were once alone on Valentine's Day. We were the ones not receiving the sweet Valentine's gifts above. And we didn't like it. We didn't like watching other women receive those kinds of things and feel left out of the love fun. So now that we have a special someone, we want the full Valentine's experience ... even the ridiculously huge fluffy stuffed bear that takes up space and you can do nothing with. It just means we were loved and thought of that day.

But the romance should not just happen on Valentine's Day or on your anniversary. Romance should be all year round. Monday, while sitting at my desk working, my sweet husband came up behind me and laid a bouquet of bright pink tulips in front of me. It was the sweetest gesture! I was completely caught off guard and it brightened my day. I asked, "Is this my Valentine bouquet?" To which he preciously responded, "You said it was Valentine's Month." Indeed I did. I always say February is the Love Month. But not just for spouses by the way. It's for everyone. It is especially a good time to shower some love and sweetness on friends and family who may not otherwise receive it. It is a month to have fun!

Remember the other day when we said "Men need sex to have love and women need love to have sex?" That love we speak of for women has two parts to it: that selfless love where men help us out and care for us and that romance love that goes above and beyond. When couples are dating, guys will go out of their way to get flowers, write notes, get little gifts, etc, but oftentimes the guy figures once he's proposed or married, he's got the girl, so that romance stuff goes by the wayside. If a guy goes out of his way to make his lady feel special, she will certainly go out of her way to make him feel special, wink, wink. The romance should never stop. And honestly, some guys like the romance stuff, too, so girls go for it. Find out what your fiance/spouse likes and meet that need.

• Does she like flowers? What kind? What color?
• Does she like chocolate? Dark, milk or white? What brand?
• Does she like dinner out? Seafood, steak, salads, burgers?
• Does she like jewelry? Dainty or bulky? Real or costume? Blingy or thematic?
• Does she like cards? Mushy or humorous?

And on it goes. Don't just know what she likes ... know details. It shows you care. And that goes the other way around, ladies.

I will never forget the 72-Hour Valentine my husband planned for me when we lived in Wisconsin. The kids were little, and he went all out planning my every hour for several days. It was so precious and meant the world to me. Try to top that one, fellows! So keep the romance coming. Have fun! Enjoy bringing joy to each other! You will both reap the benefits of it, trust us.

Discussion: What do you particularly like to receive from a romance standpoint? Do you like to be surprised? Tell about a moment when your fiance was particularly romantic? What is your idea of a perfect Valentine's Day or weekend?

Prayer: Thank you, Father, for love. We love because You first loved us we're told in 1 John 4:19. Thank you for setting the example of pure beautiful love. May we do likewise and never forget to sweep our loved one off their feet. In Jesus, Amen.

Exceedingly Beautiful

Bracelet, check. Headband, check. Earrings, check. All that's left to find is a necklace and you'll be all blinged out, girlfriend! A sparkly princess bride for sure! I read on a wedding jewelry website that the jewelry can set the mood of the wedding. If that's the case, then we're going to have a sparkling good time! This same site says a wedding is a good place to wear heirloom jewelry or to purchase a piece that can be utilized as such for future generations. They recommend adding sparkling pieces to the bouquet, shoes, your dress, your veil and on and on. That's a lot of sparkle.

While the Bible is thin on jewelry descriptions, the only engagement piece we are aware of is the nose ring Isaac's servant gave to Rebekah (Genesis 24). However, God talks about bejeweling his bride, Jerusalem, in Ezekiel 16:11-12 which says, "I adorned you with ornaments: I put bracelets on your arms, a chain on your neck, a ring on your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown upon your head." (Again with the nose ring ... don't get any ideas.) He continues in verses 13-14 "You grew exceedingly beautiful, fit to be a queen. Your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, for it was perfect because of my splendor that I had bestowed on you, says the Lord God."

That's pretty much how we anticipate a bride to look. Dripping in jewels, sparkling like a queen, beautiful in splendor. It is in this same Ezekiel passage that God talks of His unending covenant with the city, similar to the unending covenant in marriage. As God says to the city of Jerusalem, "I pledged myself to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord God, and you became mine." (Ezek. 16:8)

There is no doubt that both Ayla and Kayla will be lovely brides. And here's the thing, I think no matter what they wear - in clothing or jewelry - both Rob and Anton are going to be blown away by what they see ... "exceedingly beautiful" brides.

Discussion: What is the significance of any jewelry you will wear? Why do you think brides want to look their most beautiful on their wedding day? What does the groom expect appearance wise on your wedding day? 

Prayer: Father, just as You made Your eternal covenant with your holy city Jerusalem, both couples will be likewise making an everlasting bond with their fiances. Father, we pray for Your blessings on them both and pray Your fame is spread throughout the nations. In Jesus, Amen.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

Newspapers are slowly losing their value in our world today. With the internet, people can get all the news they want, whether in text or video, in a matter of seconds. Long before the radio or television ever came along, it was the newspaper that gave you all your information. Some papers came out with both morning and evening editions to get out the latest news. Now newspapers compete with all forms of media to provide the news. While your Daddy and I have a special place in our heart for newspapers for obvious reasons, to us they also provide lasting memories, especially of wedding and engagement announcements.

We had our wedding announcement placed in three papers: in PA, TN and IA to make sure all the family members could have a copy. Again, since there wasn't Facebook and other social networks to get out the news about an engagement or marriage, the newspaper was it. It was a way of heralding the good news.

Nowadays, the engagement and weddings announcements, like obituaries, have a fee for publication in newspapers. The more space you take up, the pricier it gets. Whether in the newspaper or social media, people always find ways to get the news out.

Interestingly, there is another kind of Good News, the best news, that we are required to get out, and that is of the Gospel - which actually means "good news." The Gospel is the good news of Jesus Christ: who He is and what He did for us. Mark 16:15 says, "He said to them, 'Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.'" Notice that it is a command. Thankfully, we live in a country where we can share the Good News on those same social networks, in the newspaper, on television, in movie theaters and on the radio (especially love that last one). The world isn't quite as friendly, but the Lord did say to go out into the world, not just our country. So we need to do our very best to tell everyone about the love and grace of Christ.

Hear the Good News! As Peter said in Acts 10:36, we're to preach the "good news of peace through Jesus Christ (He is Lord of all)." Praying you both will do so throughout your marriage. Glory to Him! “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.” (Mark 1:15)

Discussion: Do you think you will publish an engagement or wedding announcement in the newspaper? What does sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ mean to you? What are some ways you do that?

Prayer: Father, may we with full enthusiasm share the Good News about what Christ has done for us using all means possible as often as possible. In Jesus, Amen.