Uniquely God's

I wept a few times yesterday. I was putting together a binder of the wedding ceremony for your Daddy. While reading through the vows, exchanging of the rings, declaration of marriage and introduction of the newlyweds, I kept wiping away tears. I could hear my daughter and her fiance reciting the words and kept getting choked up. But that didn't get me nearly as much as a decision Ayla made. I asked her what she wanted to walk down the aisle to, and she said she was thinking about using a segment of the song "Your Hands Are Cold" from Pride & Prejudice by Dario Marianelli. This is one of my favorite songs of all time. To me it is the perfect blend of piano and violin in a breathtaking crescendo that is euphoric. Plus, cinematically, Darcy is walking through the fog in the wee hours of the morning to the woman who bewitched him body and soul. Ahhh, so romantic. The same piece of music is used earlier in the film when Elizabeth stands precariously on the edge of a jutting rock over a cliff in the Peak District of the United Kingdom, the wind blowing through her hair and whipping back her coat as she thinks about Darcy. But to top that all off, that portion of the song has been the ringtone on my cellphone for Ayla for the last three years. When that song plays, I think of my daughter. So to hear that is what she wants to walk down the aisle to her beloved got me all teary eyed again. How will I ever get through this service?

Special touching moments like this make your wedding ceremony yours. While the service itself is about worship of the Almighty and professing sacred vows before him, adding individual touches unique to the couple make it even more distinct and personal. Themes, colors, decorations and music mold the worship service into a microcosm example of what each couple is as a God-selected team, made up of two gifted, talented, crafted souls.

I am so looking forward to celebrating this wedding day with my daughter and future son-in-law in just 16 days. And looking forward to celebrating an equally unique celebration with Anton and Kayla next June. I am proud of these couples and what they are selecting to do in their ceremonies and receptions. But mostly grateful that though they are each very different personalities, each are created in God's image and will be glorifying Him in every aspect of their marriage celebrations. Praising Him for Who He is and thanking Him for what He has made ... especially the musical talent of Marianelli and a song that has multiple, precious meanings for us and now yet a new one to come on this most important of days.

Discussion: What are some unique aspects of your wedding that are representative of you as individuals and as a couple? How do those moments glorify the Lord?

Prayer: Lord God, you are so amazing and we proclaim your name and lift our holy hands in praise to you. Thank you for the uniqueness in each of us. We pray we reflect your character as we go about our daily lives. And we pray the personal touches of our weddings, reflect you as well. In Jesus, Amen.

Decently And In Order

A wedding is a big event with lots going on. There are family members, bridal party, vendors and friends to organize as you get ready, have photos, remember to eat, have your ceremony and reception. It's wise to have a schedule set and someone to make sure all is going according to the plan. After searching the internet, the schedule below is based on what Ayla and Rob have planned for their wedding with regards to time and activities.

7 a.m. – Golf for Groomsmen and friends

8 a.m. – Breakfast

8:30 a.m. – Bride showers

9:30 a.m. – Make sure bag is ready to go for honeymoon night & survival kit.

10 a.m. – Hair

11 a.m. – Make-up

Noon – Light Lunch then drive to Riverhouse

1 p.m. – Bride and bridesmaids dress and do last minute touch ups       (photographer at Riverhouse). Groom showering/shaving. Making sure his bag is ready for honeymoon night.

2 p.m. – Bridal photos (Bride, Bridesmaids, MOB, DOB and grandparents).   Groom heading to Riverhouse – Groom/Groomsmen dressing at Riverhouse.

3 p.m. – Groom photos (Groom, Groomsmen, MOG, DOG)

4 p.m. – Prayer between bride and groom. Music begins. Groomsmen seat guests.

4:25 p.m. – Wedding ceremony (See wedding ceremony schedule)

5:15 p.m. – Bridal couple and party photos (Guests into reception hall)

6-6:15 p.m. – Intro to Reception

6:30 p.m. – Dinner (6:45 p.m: sunset is at 7 p.m. if you want a picture together)

7 p.m. – Toasts

7:15 p.m. – First Dance and other dances (Daddy/Daughter; Mother/Son)

7:30 p.m. – Dance Floor opens

8 p.m. – Cake Cutting

8:30 p.m. – Bouquet toss/Garter Toss

8:30 p.m. – Dance the Night Away

9:45 p.m. – Dollar Dance

10 p.m. – Newlyweds send-off

1 Corinthians 14:40 says: "All things should be done decently and in order," so hopefully this will help with organization and keeping the flow. Tweak as necessary!

Discussion: Are you more of a free flowing person or scheduler? What changes would you make to this schedule? What events may require less or more time?

Prayer: Lord God, we can't possibly prepare for spontaneous adjustments to the wedding day, but it certainly helps to have a schedule set for the day. Thank you, Lord, for advising us in your Word to be prepared and have an itinerary. We pray all goes well the day of both our children's weddings. In Christ, Amen.

So Happy Together

It was precious hearing the comments. Here I was on a Ladies Beach Retreat with some of the most fun women on the planet, having a fabulous time sunning by the sea, visiting, laughing, eating and shopping, and they couldn't help but talk about their husbands. Several times I heard wives say, "my sweet husband did" this or that. There were a few, "I wonder if my husband did [this or that] while I was gone," but most often they spoke about how much they loved their husbands. And I heard many talk about being excited to get back with their husbands after the weekend, including myself. One even went home a day early to watch football with her husband. These women ranged in age from 48-62. All but one are married and happily so. One of the husbands even commented on a picture on Facebook of his wife from the beach saying, "I miss you, princess! Have fun!" A sweet message of love. It was just so comforting to hear women speak fondly of their best friend, lover and husband - all one in the same. And each one's husband is as unique and precious as the ladies are. I was in awe of our Father in Heaven thinking how different each of us is and how God had brought to us godly, amazing men to be our helpmate in this spiritual journey to Him. And I was thankful for their long, healthy and happy marriages, praying they continue to be so.

For myself, with all the fun I was having and the great memories I made with these ladies (and look forward to making in future yearly beach trips), I could not wait to get home to my beloved. I couldn't wait to see my husband, hold and kiss him. I couldn't wait to share with him all the silliness and fascinating conversations we women had as we attempted to solve all the problems of the world. Your Daddy is my safe place. He knows me better than anyone else. My best times in life are spent with him, as are my greatest challenges and sorrows. We uplift each other, share each other's burdens, encourage each other, call into question things that might need tweaked in each other, have so much fun together and most importantly love each other so dearly. Our lives are so intertwined with each other that it's hard to pull apart from that for even a few days. It's a beautiful mystery our Father created.

Our hope for all of you is that you feel the same way about your future spouses as Daddy and I do and as each of those ladies feel. That you will be a best friend to your spouse, an encourager, lover and accountability partner. That you will care so deeply for your spouse that when apart, you long to be back together. That is a true two-become-one Biblical connection. That is true love.

Discussion: When you are apart from each other, what is it you most can't wait for when you get back together? What does your beloved do that makes you better? What are some comments you make to others about your beloved?

Prayer: Lord God, how amazing you are that you have placed this special someone in our lives, hand-selected and hand-created just for us! Father, you are an awesome God! We thank you for our beloved and pray we always remember to cherish them! In Jesus, Amen.

Shine Like Stars

Tonight there is a lunar eclipse. An eclipse is when the earth orbits directly between the sun and moon causing the shadow of the earth to pass over the face of the full moon, making the moon go dark. What is significant about this eclipse it's is supermoon. It's when the moon is closest to the earth in it's orbit, making it appear 14 percent larger in the sky. If we have clear sky this eclipse will be a phenomenal event to witness. The last time there was a supermoon lunar eclipse was in 1983, 32 years ago, and the next one won't be for another 18 years in 2033 ... I will be 68 years old, babies born now will be graduating high school and, my sweet ones, you will be in your 40's. So this is something you do not want to miss. Plus the next regular lunar eclipse won't be until 2018. And here's another reason to watch it: t's the fourth blood moon we've had in a year. A blood moon is another name for a lunar eclipse. When the earth's shadow passes in front of the moon it makes it look red. People have associated blood moons with various historical occurrences and some see them is prophetic Biblical events, inching us every closer to the end times. So you have several reasons to keep your eyes on the night sky tonight. It starts at 8:07 p.m. CST and should be a full lunar eclipse by 10:11 p.m. lasting about an hour.

By the way there is an opportunity for us here in America to see a solar eclipse Aug. 21, 2017. That is when the moon passes between the earth and the sun. It's one you cannot look at with your naked eye - even though you think you can - because it will blind you.

As you can see I have quite a passion for all things in our Father's heavenly sky. Shooting stars, comets, eclipses and constellations have been captivating mankind since the dawn of time. It's something we cannot control and gives us a glimpse of the awesomeness of our Father God and His creation. I recently saw a video where several fellows recreated to scale our solar system in dry lake bed, seven miles wide, in Nevada. Our earth was a blue marble in this model with the sun to scale at more than a yard wide. The model featured the planet's orbits. To get out wide enough to see the orbits, you cannot see the planets. It's that big. It was amazing to see. And to think it's just one solar system in one galaxy in our universe. We serve an awesome God.

Psalm 19:1 says, "The heavens declare the glory of God."  Scriptures tells us "the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands," (Isaiah 55:12), "stones will cry out" in worship (Luke 19:40), the sea will roar and fields exult His name (1 Chronicles 16:32). Creation worships the Creator. This God of ours, who put so much effort into creating our world that can't help but glorify Him, put that same effort in to us. And we too should do like wise. Like the stars, the trees, the mountains, the sea, the field ... and the supermoon lunar eclipse, we need to shout to the world, "Glory to God! Can you see Him?! Can you feel Him!? Look what He has done! Praise His name!"

Be in awe of what our Father has done, for it's mighty. Likewise, look in the mirror and be in awe. For you, like the beauty of this world, have been created for His glory. And he calls us to "shine like stars in the universe." (Philippians 2:15).

Discussion: Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? What is the most beautiful thing you have seen in all creation that declares God's glory? Do you think of yourself as God's beautiful creation?

Prayer: Lord God, we magnify your nae along with your world. You have created this beautiful universe for us, and it's is majesty and mighty! We thank you for it. May we, like it, declare your glory. In Christ, Amen.

XOXOXOXOXO

I could see it in his eyes. The stress of the day creeping in on him nearly first thing in the morning. He sighed. He usually sighs a lot anyways, but this day he sighed a little deeper. You could hear the exhaustion. You could see the crease in his forehead deepening. His eyes were already piercing. And it was 8 a.m. So I stopped what I was doing and went over to hug him. We melted together and I could feel the anxiety leaving. I held tight and he held tight. I knew that hug wouldn't miraculously fix all that was preoccupying his mind and lessening his sleep, but knew it would certainly make him feel a little better.

The other day after your Daddy asked me to marry him again in a text, he sent a separate one that looked like this "xxxxxxxooooooo." In the world of typing slang, we all know those are kisses and hugs. I really needed those kisses and hugs and sent a good batch right back to him.

And when we were walking Sunday afternoon, both working up a good sweat after a couple miles, I interlocked my fingers with his so we could hold hands.

Hugging, kisses, holding hands are all sweet ways of connecting with your beloved on a regular basis. Scientifically they release chemical in the brain called oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin which gives you a feel-good sense of contentment. In this high stress world of go-go-go, any moments of contentment are cherished and necessary. We need hugs. We need to hold hands. We need kisses. Scientifically or not, it just makes us feel better. And the Bible even tells us how to hug. Song of Solomon 2:6 says, "His left hand was under my head and that his right hand embraced me!"

Don't every forget to hug each other, snuggle, kiss and hold hands. It probably sounds ridiculous to suggest this to you in your young love, but the world will creep in to thwart any efforts you make to show affection in uplifting one another. So make a conscious effort to. You will both need it. And you'll love it, too.

Discussion: How do you feel when you hug your beloved? Do you like to hold hands? What are the best kind of kisses?

Prayer: We thank you, Father, that you embrace us with your loving arms and keep us close. We thank you for how you care for and protect us, comfort us and uplift us. May we do likewise to our beloved in Jesus name, Amen.

The Day(s) After

It's the post-wedding glow ... or the post wedding exhaustion depending on how you're feeling that day after the big day. You may have stressed yourself out those days leading up to your wedding day, lacking sleep and going full throttle, so that when it's all over, the next day could be like a hangover. Nothing left, depleted of energy with little desire to get out of bed. Although that last bit could be for a completely different reason, wink wink. Some couples leave their ceremony and head off straight on their honeymoon. And some hang around the morning after for a post-wedding brunch and gift opening with family and the bridal party.

That last one was what Daddy and I did. We spent our first night in a hotel, then headed back to my Mom's house to open wedding gifts. We spent sometime with our family, then began our journey toward our honeymoon destination. It was a great way to say our good-byes before we head off on our lift together.

But regardless of what you do the day after the wedding, there are a few things you need to complete after the special day.

1. If you plan on saving any of the flowers in your bouquet, you can dry them out and press them. If you are going out of town, perhaps put your bouquet stems in water or put the bouquet in the refrigerator to keep it fresh while you're gone.
2. Make sure the top layer of your cake is wrapped well and stored in the freezer to eat on your first anniversary.
3. Decide what to do with your wedding gown. Preserve it? Sell it? Regardless, you'll need to clean it. Also, don't forget to return rented tuxes.
4. See if you have doubles in the gift department and return/exchange what you need to. This is also a good time to have fun shopping with gift cards.
5. Write thank yous. This will take time, so pace yourself, but plan to have all of them sent out within 6-8 weeks of the wedding. Make sure you draw attention to your new address.
6. If you were impressed with how your venue worked out, florist, caterer or baker did, a thank you to them or a positive review on Yelp is a good thing. 
7. Kill the wedding website and remove your gift registry.
8. Finish your wedding photo album or scrap book and watch your wedding video.
9. Officially change your name. Some folks begin this process before the wedding, but if you haven't yet, you need to do that. Remember you'll need to change your driver's license, bank accounts, Social Security card, insurance and other places where you have your name. It can be a hassle, but once it's done, it's done.
10. Go through items used to decorate your wedding and decide what you want to save and what you want to recycle, sell or give away.
11. Combine checking accounts and get both your names on necessary paperwork, utilities, etc.
12. Enjoy your new life and Mr. and Mrs. and making your first home together! 

Discussion: What are your immediate post wedding plans? Do you have plans for the items above?

Prayers: Father, we pray after these weddings, our couples can relax and enjoy one another a midst all the next to-dos that need accomplished. We pray the transition to married life is smooth. And we pray their marriages are filled with blessings. In Jesus, Amen.

Emergency, Fix-It, Go-Fer, Schedule-Keeping Person

Last night I had a dream. Ayla and I were walking into the reception hall after it had been decorated. Just as I was asking, "What do you think?" I looked and saw tables covered in turquoise cloths and chairs covered in deep pink. It looked like it came out of Dr. Suess's The Cat in the Hat Comes Back story where Little Cats A through Z cover everything in pink. In the dream, we quickly tried to figure out a way to fix the decorations. Then after the wedding, I noticed no one knew where to go or what to do. There was no one to tell them what was next, what was available to them during the reception and where to go. It was a nightmare of sorts in that things kept going wrong.

I suppose that is natural when you are approaching the wedding date, to have nightmares of things going all wackadoodle. It's our brain working overtime and the stresses of getting it all done rearing their ugly head. Regardless, the dream did get me thinking of something that may be important.

If you do not have a wedding coordinator to make everything go smoothly, you may want someone selected to be your emergency fix-it, go-fer, schedule-keeping person. Someone you trust to make sure all your needs as a couple are met, the ceremony and reception transitions go smoothly and can be there in a instant if you both need something. This person would also be a good soul to be the one to save you should you get into a lengthy chatting up by a guest with a "Hey, you are needed over here." They could have your photo list to make sure all the pictures you want are getting shot. Some folks call this a wedding personal assistant.

If you have someone like that, who is not part of your wedding party, it can certainly be a help. Don't make this person you maid-of-honor or best man. They will have plenty of other things to keep track of that day. This is someone close to you, who knows you both well and can keep you and the event on track. Know that this person will be doing you a great service during the wedding, so acknowledging their efforts is appropriate.

Whew, now better double check those decorations, so I can sleep better tonight.

Discussion: Is there someone you trust to help you keep everything going smoothly the day of the wedding?

Prayer: Lord God, we pray all goes well the day of the wedding. We ask for your help in keeping everything organized and smooth. And we pray we sleep well in these days leading up to the wedding. In Jesus name, Amen.

Autumnal Equinox

Today is the first day of autumn. You know as beautiful as autumn is, I never looked forward to this season. Mostly because it meant winter was around the corner. I love spring and summer because I'm a naturally a cold person, so bring on the warm weather. And I just don't like to be cold. But we had a pretty hot summer, so I have to say I'm truly enjoying the coming of autumn. I think as I've aged, I've gotten a far better appreciation of each season. There is a purpose for every single one. And since Daddy and I are pretty much heading into the autumn of our lives, I think I'd better embrace it.

With autumn comes the gorgeous change in color, cooler nights and pumpkins. In the human body with the autumn season comes gray hair, wrinkles, the beginning of age spots, a change in metabolism, new aches each day and some sagging in areas that used to be ... well, not sagging. None of that sounds even remotely appealing to you at your young age. Honestly, it's not really appealing to us either. But it's the nature of things.

You young ones are in your summer. It's the prime of your lives. The world is fresh and beautiful and exciting and filled with new experiences and adventure, especially as you are about to marry and begin one of the greatest adventures. And you should delight in it as much as you can. A friend said to me recently about young marrieds, "Buy anything you want and go anywhere you want before you start having kids, because their needs will come before your wants after that." And there is truth in that. It costs a lot to raise children and for some folks causes them to set some limits for their sake. So it is a philosophy that works for many couples who choose to wait to start their families. Personally, we didn't do that because we couldn't have bought whatever we wanted or gone where ever we wanted anyways. And we didn't see our children as limiting. For us that was adventure! Regardless, this is the time to truly delight in your young, active and typically healthy bodies and make some wonderful memories.

You will see spring in your children and winter in your grandparents. Each season has so many blessings and brings so much joy - challenges, too. So truly embrace each as it comes ... in the calendar year as well. Breath in what God has created for your enjoyment. Delight in each change as it occurs. Worship Him for what He has designed as your environment. Pick apples, have campfires, select a pumpkin, examine fallen leaves, snuggle in a sweater as the temperature drops, collect pecans, catch a football and enjoy the autumn harvest. "To everything there is a season," Ecclesiastes 3:1 says. Now it's time for the autumnal equinox ... ironically and pleasantly, for us, in more ways then one.

Discussion: What is your favorite season? What do you love about fall? Name some people you know and love and say what season of their life they are in.

Prayer: We give you glory Father for every season of our year and our life. May we fully enjoy all your prepared for us and praise your name for being so gracious and generous with us. We thank you in Jesus name, Amen.

Call It Even?

Your Dad and I have done it before. Especially during the super lean years. You know the old, "Let's not get each other gifts this year. We know how we feel about each other." And there are have pluses to this suggestion and some minuses. So we want to look at this.

I had a friend say "Don't save money deciding you don't need to exchange gifts or go on vacations. [That is a] bad tradition to establish. Find the time and money to surprise each other, get away with each other and celebrate your life together." She brings up the saddest part of the not-exchanging-gifts idea and that is neglect. It's forgetting the spontaneity. Forgetting to cherish. Forgetting to edify. Forgetting to romance. Because you are always there for one another, it can be easy to say, "Let's call it even," but honestly it's not very honoring to neglect to look for something special for one another. If you pay even the slightest bit attention to your beloved, you will see their needs, catch their unspoken desires and want to fulfill them. I know Anton purposefully got a Pinterest account to see what his beloved Kayla pinned that she was interested in so that he would know without asking what she liked or wanted. It shows your beloved is a priority.

Now I said there are positives to not giving gifts as well. See for Daddy and I there were some years when we didn't know if we'd have enough money to get you children and our extended family gifts for Christmas, so we'd forego our gifts in their favor. Or we'd just get each other one small thing. And for our anniversary, we would go out to eat or away on a trip together instead of buying a present. The trip was our present to one another. For our birthdays, just three days apart, we would make it a special day for one another without having gifts. Especially in Georgia which would require car taxes to be paid on your birthday each year (seriously, who came up with that idea?). We sometimes did the coupon booklets where we promised a dinner out, massage, movie night or fun day together. Neither of us felt slighted during those times. It was what was best for our family. And we found many other ways to make each other feel celebrated.

But we understand the concern of just skipping those moments in gift giving. After all, who is the most important person to you? Why should they be skipped? So do what is best for you. So if there are lean years, perhaps a tiny token, or a joint gift. Find clever ways to celebrate each other. This way you are acknowledging the priority of your spouse without straining the budget. Besides special times and gestures will far outweigh special gifts almost every single time.

Discussion: Do you plan on getting each other gifts for birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas? Do you have a plan if the budget is tight? What is the best gift your beloved gave you?

Prayer: Dear Lord God, we pray we never neglect our beloved. That we strive to surprise, delight and celebrate the one you've gifted us with. We especially thank you for the gift of your Son. Its in His name we pray. Amen.

I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

My reunion group giggled every time it happened. "Will you marry me?" Brad's voice asked every time he texted me. I would look down at the phone and say, "Of course! I love you, pumpkin." I recorded his voice asking me to marry him because he asks all the time and I wanted to make it the notification sound for his texts to me. So several times each day, I get to hear Daddy propose. And it brings me so much joy. But it cracks people up around me. They'll look around wondering where the voice came from. Some people will say, "No, I'm already married, thank you." I've even been asked, "You and Brad aren't married?" Yes, we are very married, but he still asks me all the time. It's very reassuring to a wife of nearly 28 years to hear that her husband still would want to marry her all these years later.

Which brings me to my point. Marriage is about falling in love many times. You don't just fall in love once. You fall in love over and over again. It's a beautiful, blissful thing. When I tell you that I love your Daddy more now than I did when I first met him, it is absolutely true. I still get butterflies. I still ache when we are apart. I enjoy spending time with him. I still love to hold his hand, snuggle and gaze into his gorgeous big blue eyes. But the love is more intense, deeper, stronger and more powerful than it was when I first fell head over heels at the age of 18. All those feelings I had for him then have just intensified because I've seen the man he's become. I know the man of integrity he is. I know how he has matured spiritually. I know the depth of love he has not just for me and his children, but for all God's children. I've watched the work ethic I was so impressed with then, remain full throttle now. I've seen the skinny baby faced teen I met debonairly grow into this gorgeous graying man. After Facetiming with our daughter yesterday during her final wedding dress fitting, I was startled by the older looking face of mine looking back from the tiny window. "I almost didn't recognize me. I'm an old lady," I said to my husband, to which he quickly responded. "But you're my old lady." We both had a giggle. My favorite sound in the world is his heart beat. I love the way he smells. I love that I instantly warm up when I'm near him. I love that fit him perfectly when we hug. I love that he loves me, regardless of my faults. I love him. And every day I fall in love again.

That is the love we want for you. When you wake up in the morning, you look at the face on the pillow next to you and praise our God in heaven that you get to start off your day with that view. That you can't wait to go on a date with your beloved. That you ask yourself each day, "How can I make my spouse's day better?" That you feel every day you are a better you because God has brought this person into your life.

Our prayer is that you want to ask your spouse every single day if they would marry you. Because I know when I said yes to Brad all those years ago, it was one of the smartest decisions I ever made. So given the choice when he asks now, I say "yes, absolutely, most certainly, without a doubt, you bet, oh yeah" every single day. Make a conscience, proactive effort to not just stay in love, but fall in love over and over again. Be romantic, passionate and fun with one another. Make sure your beloved knows they truly are beloved. 1 Corinthians 13:8 tells us "Love never ends." Make sure it doesn't.

Discussion: In your engagement, what efforts do you go to to make sure your beloved knows you are in love with them. Tell of something your beloved has done recently that made you fall in love with them all over again.

Prayer: Lord God, we thank you for showing us what true love is. We thank you for bringing our beloved into our lives. We pray you inspire us to make sure our spouse knows without a shadow of doubt how much we love them. In the name of our sweet Savior we pray, Amen.

Too Much Of A Good Thing

This is the second time I've cleaned out my hummingbird feeder and seen the carnage. Nearly a hundred tiny ants who crawled up the six-foot iron pole the bird feeder hangs on, climbed into the center of the red plastic flowers and up inside the glass feeder itself to delight in the sweetness of the sugar water ... only to drown in it. These little ants were drawn in by what they loved ... sugar. And whatever sugar they found on the surface wasn't enough, so they pressed forward for more, not knowing that they were progressing on in peril. Their unsatisfied passion led to their deaths.

You know those pictures of those folks who come home from the grocery store and put 20 filled plastic bags on their arms, weighing themselves completely down, and trying to carry all that and walk into the house because they don't want to make two or three trips? Yeah, that's me. I can get one more bag on my arm, surely. And honestly, most of the time it works. But there have been some losses - a dozen eggs, a jar of salsa, a can of spaghettios. I would lose one bag, food would topple to the ground and some just didn't survive gravity's pull to the concrete. In my greed to get'r done, I cost us money. Notice that greed is the key word there ... the very thing that led to the death of the ants. They were greedy for more.

The lesson there is twofold. One is "know your limits." The other is "all things in moderation." There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. When you don't pace yourself. When you think you can do one more. When you hear the voice inside say, "That's enough," yet you go ahead and finish the ginormous piece of seven-layer chocolate cake.

I had that happen recently with the game Candy Crush. Loved the game, truly. The strategy changed with every level, so you learn to be patient, clever, quick, organized and thrifty. It was a hoot. And a wonderful time filler for those boring moments (during TV commercials, at the doctor's office, when eating alone). But I noticed a couple times when I would play a few levels before bedtime, I'd get really into it and pretty soon it was 1 a.m. Or instead of getting done what I needed to do, I'll just play this for a little while. I noticed it was sucking up not just the boring times, but the necessary times as well. And I knew it was time to quit. So one day, I deleted the game. And honestly I haven't missed it. I knew it was too much of a good thing. And just wanting to get to the next level seemed pretty hollow.

Now not all things need to be given up completely like that, but if you find you lack self control with a specific hobby, food, sport or interest, and cutting back doesn't help, then cutting off may be the key. I can't buy gumballs. If I do, I can chew through the bag of gumballs in one sitting. Chew three at a time till the flavor runs out, spit out that wad and start again. One time I chewed so many I heard something crunch in the left side of my jaw and had trouble chewing anything for two weeks. Too much of a good thing.

It's an issue of priorities. It's an issue of greed. It's an issue of self-control. It's an issue of idol worship in extreme cases. If you find yourself overly focused on something, then it's probably time to push it back. If it's something draining your time and money, you may have an issue. So do some self-examination. Is there anything in your life that is too much? Get it straightened out. Because it could be something that effects your health, well-being ... even your marriage if it is causing you to neglect your spouse in any way. Be wise. If someone else comments to you on it, it may be time to really think about it. Now if I could just convince the ants to back off.

Discussion: Is there something in your life you obsess over, spend too much time or money on? Is it something you can cut back on or do you need to cut it out of your life? Tell about a time when you were overly focused on one thing.

Prayer: Father, we know our priority should be you and our beloved, but sometimes we get drawn away but other interests. We pray, Father, your Holy Spirit convicts us of those times when we may be askew in our pursuits and courageous and wise enough to know when to make a change. In Christ Jesus, Amen.

Conflict Resolution

"All she has to do is smile at me, and I can't stay mad at her." That was what a dear friend told your Daddy and I last night. He and his beautiful wife are celebrating their 27th anniversary. "It's not always been easy," he said shaking his head, "but it's worth it." He shared how they've had rough patches in their marriage or a nasty argument where he would have to drive off for a little while to think. But when he got back home and saw her face, he said he couldn't even remember what the argument was about.

People handle conflict in different ways. Some folks dislike conflict so much that they'll do whatever it takes to appease someone. Others would rather walk away then deal with conflict. Some folks get into passionate, heated disagreements. And there are others who take those disagreements too far to the point of verbal or even physical abuse. Well, let's just say straight out that that last one is off the table. That is not an option. So that leaves you with heated argument or purposeful avoidance. Neither one of those is truly beneficial either in a disagreement.

So what is the best way to deal with a difference of opinion?

1. Well, first off, listen to each other. Hear what the other person has to say and put yourself in their shoes. Know where they are coming from and why. James 1:19-20 says, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
2. Do not raise your voice. It is patronizing and tells the other person that what you have to say is more important enough to drown them out. That's neither listening or loving.
3. Do not cut each other down. Remember what your disagreement is about and do not make it personal.
4. Avoid sarcasm. It's demeaning.
5. Repeat back to one another what you think is their opinion or what they are trying to say. That way you both know you are completely understanding one another. 
6. If anger is escalating, take a few minutes to cool off ... and pray. Pray together if you can. Proverbs 29:11 says, "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end."
7. When you're wrong, admit it. And say you're are sorry. Even better, ask for forgiveness.
8.  Embrace. Hugs heal so much.

Arguments will happen, but if you remember how much you love one another, then perhaps you too will forget what the argument was about in the first place. Remember Satan will always be trying to drive a wedge between you, so don't stand so far apart that there is room for one. Oh and don't forget that whole argue naked thing. That works too.

Discussion: What do you love about one another? Is that something you can remember when you get into disagreements? Do you have a plan for conflict resolution?

Prayer: Lord God we know that we can get carried away with our position on a subject that we can be insensitive to each other. Lord, we pray we can remember how much we love each other and truly listen to each other, so that arguments don't escalate. May we always pray for guidance from you in these situations. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Marriage Insurance

Anton asked me yesterday about renter's insurance. What amount should he get? How should he pay it? They are good questions for a young man about to rent his very first apartment. And it got me thinking. We have insurance for our cars, homes, apartments, health and even our earthly life. Some people have insurance for jewelry, boats and other high-end personal possessions. Some singers have insurance on their vocal chords. Dancers have insurance on their legs. Quarterbacks have insurance on their throwing arms. People protect what is of great value to them.

That being said ... what insurance do you have for your marriage? Now please don't ask, "Is there marriage insurance?" And for heavens sake, don't even mention a prenup. (For those who don't know, it's a prenuptial agreement between the bride and groom over possessions should the union end - it's a safety net in case of divorce.). So I'm not speaking actual marriage insurance. I'm talking about what lengths you are willing to go to protect this extraordinarily important union called marriage. How much is this marriage worth to you?

I am hoping you'll say this upcoming marriage is worth more than your house, car, apartment, boat or jewelry. It should rank right up at the top of your priority list.

A friend at church shared a story where her boss asked her to list the priorities in her life. She said, "God, husband, children, work." He told her to pack up her things, go home and reprioritize if she planned on working for him. She was devastated at the loss of her job, but stuck to her beliefs. Within days, the Lord opened an opportunity for her financially that has continued to this day and blessed her immeasurably. Her priorities were dead on. The boss on the other hand ... was fired by his boss within the year. His priorities were off.

Your God should be the most important thing in your life. Christ said in Matthew 22:37, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." So that comes first. Then your spouse should follow. Then your children. Then anything else. You know how important those things are. And they are worth protecting. So what is your insurance? You need to invest in those things. You need to invest time with God. You need to invest time in the Word. You need to invest time in prayer. You need to invest in time with your spouse and your future children. Notice that time is the connection there.

Work at your marriage. Love your spouse. Go on marriage retreats together and to conferences (like the one Rob and Ayla attended recently). Read books on marriage together. Do devotions together. Pray together. Go on dates. Have fun together. Your marriage is of great worth, so take special care of it. Invest in it.

The Bible is the best insurance for liability, collision and comprehension in your marriage. It's the best insurance for natural disasters, disease, road hazards and mishaps. That Word of God has got the best coverage ever. So dig into it. And when you sign that marriage license, know that you've got the best policy ever with the Father ... with zero deductible, because Christ already paid it.

Discussion: How are your current priorities? What are some other ways to make your marriage a priority? How can you tell what a priority is in your life?

Prayer: Father, we know when we make those vows before you, we are promising to make this marriage a priority. Help us Lord to care for one another and invest in each other. Help us to seek your Word for guidance and direction in our lives. And let it all be to your glory. In your Son's name, Amen.

Gave Himself Up For Her

Yesterday's post focused on wives, so today we're focusing on husbands. And more importantly, a God fearing one.

For a few months now, sitting on one of Daddy's dresser is an unsigned sheet of paper with the title at the top "The Resolution." It's a copy of the resolution Daddy signed after reading the book The Resolution for Men. I love this resolution, because it's what a husband should be. If husbands are the head of the household then they have a huge responsibility to our Father and to their families. It's printed at the back of the book. It speaks of being the spiritual leader in the home, loving and protecting his wife and children, being faithful to his wife, training his children in love and have mercy, forgiving, working diligently, learning from mistakes and honoring God. Men who sign this resolution, promise to follow it for the rest of their lives. When Daddy signed this form, he stood before our church with me by his side, making this promise to me, his children and to God. It was a powerful and meaningful moment. The Resolution is framed and hangs in our bedroom as a constant reminder.

This is what we want for our future son-in-law and for our son. We want you to read and complete that book, sign the form before your beloved, and adhere to it for the rest of your life. We want you to do that on behalf of our daughter and future daughter-in-law that we love so much. We feel those ladies deserve this, because it's required of their husbands according to the Word. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." If you are the man Christ calls you to be, it will be so much easier for your wife to be the woman Christ has called her to be.

Ayla commented after attending the Art of Marriage conference recently how depressing and discouraging it was to hear from couples who's marriages had been so destructive. She questioned how they could let them get that way. But never forget it's Satan's target to destroy the family in any possible way. If a marriage is representative of Christ's relationship to the church, then to destroy it is prime real estate for the evil one. So be cautious, guarded and fully committed to God. Hold your marriage to a high standard. Signing the Resolution, is a good place to start.

Discussion: Have you finished reading The Resolution For Men? Can you confidently sign the resolution? What are other ways to protect your marriage and family?

Prayer: Lord, our marriages are yours, and oftentimes we forget that. We pray, Lord, that these couples as newlyweds will be committed to you. That the men will be committed to their wives and children. Let their marriages be to your glory. In Jesus our King, Amen.

Her Husband's Crown

Yesterday in my devotion time, I came across a couple of gems in Proverbs 21. In verse 9: "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." And in verse 19: "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife." And who better to know this than the guy who married 700 of them. I can't imagine they were in good moods all the time. So I doubt there were any roof corners left for King Solomon (the writer of Proverbs) to hide in on a daily basis. That desert surrounding the Holy Lands would have been his only sanctuary from quarrelsome wives. But it's true that no one wants a nagging or quarrelsome wife. Now we could flip this and talk about husbands, but saving that for tomorrow. This is for the ladies.

See, we woman can be naggers. When we want something done a certain way ... when something hasn't been completed in a timely fashion ... when we just want something. And that nagging is described later in Proverbs 27:15 as "like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm." And we know what damage that'll do.

You're going to quarrel. But the point is to not be described as such. We're talking about someone whose personality leans that way. Constantly bickering, nagging, picking, patronizing, being sarcastic or critical ... it's negative and unfair. And slowly chips away at the man we love and respect so much.

You can't be Pollyanna (perky and optimistic) all the time - that's unrealistic - but it's equally unrealistic to be negative Nelly all the time, too. So pay attention to your moods. Leave work at work. Work out stress through exercise. Get plenty of rest. And spend a good amount of time in the Word of God. Because that same Word tells husbands this in Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." And this in Proverbs 12:4: "A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown." 

Discussion: Do you catch yourself being quarrelsome or nagging? What causes it? How can you prevent it?

Prayer: Gracious Lord, we can sometimes let little things irritate us to a point were we become the irritation. I pray Father we remember to be kind and uplifting to our husbands and not a drippy, leaky roof, so that our husband won't seek a corner of it to live in. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Regional American Wedding Traditions

We have taken a look at wedding traditions all over the world. We've looked at traditions from Poland, Denmark, Seminole, Italy, Ireland, Russia, Scotland, Choctaw, Portugal, Czechoslovakia, England and Hungary among others. And we've touched on a number of American traditions as well, but we wanted to look at each of the regions/states of America to see if there are any traditions unique to the cultures there.

Now here are a few, but they are not all tried and true, especially since we've been a more mobile society in the last century, but you'll find some traditions that more frequent in one area that another. 

For example:

South: The groom's cake got its start here. Many couples in the north have never heard of a groom's cake. Sometimes the groom's cake is eaten at the rehearsal dinner and sometimes at the reception. Some weddings in the South may be held in the church, followed by a short reception of cake, mints and nuts - no meal, drinks or dancing. Also, wedding showers are never held by the mother of the bride, but rather friends of the MOB or bride. There also may be several showers.

Midwest: Bride's often have a personal attendant. This gal will be the go-to person for the wedding, running errands, holding onto emergency kits, making sure the bride is picture ready, etc. Usually this is a close friend of the bride that is not a member of the bridal party.

The Grand March is also a Midwest traditions,where the bridal party and guests form a tunnel that the couple go through at their reception.

North: The Dollar Dance is very popular where guests pay to dance with the bride and groom. In some areas of the county, if you pay to dance, you get a shot of whiskey to drink before the dance. And typically all weddings include a grand reception with a meal, drinks and dancing.
 
California: More often the not the wedding and reception will be at the same venue, and usually not a church.

New Orleans: They're going to have a wedding cake with cake pulls or the Ribbon Pulling Ceremony. Charms are baked into the bottom layer of the wedding cake with thin ribbons sticking out of the cake at the bottom. Single gals get to pull the charm out. Each of the charms has some meaning to predict the future of that single gal. An anchor means adventure awaits; a star means your wish will come true; a ring means you're the next to get married, and so on. 

In New Orleans they also have something called the Second Line signifying the newlyweds beginning their life together. It's a walk from the wedding ceremony to the reception venue. The groom holds a black umbrella and the bride holds a white umbrella. Guests wave white handkerchiefs and the couple, typically following a jazz band, will walk to the reception.

Pennsylvania: This state gets it's own designation for the cookie table. Relatives of the couple are asked to bring a few dozen cookies, which are all put on one table at the reception. You won't go to a reception in PA and not see the famous cookie table. 

New York City: Most weddings will have a Cocktail Hour at the beginning of the wedding and a Viennese Hour at the end. The Cocktail Hour is hors d'oeuvres and specialty drinks, and the Viennese Hour is desserts and after dinner drinks.

Northeast: Usually one bridal shower is held for the bride combining both families and all friends and co-workers. So a bridal shower may have 30-60 guests. Usually the bride's family hosts this.

Texas: Three letters ... BBQ.

Southwest: Expect to see some western elements like cowboy boots or a cowboy hat at some point in the ceremony. 

Hawaii: Everyone wears a lei. Oftentimes the bride and groom will switch leis during the ceremony. The feast includes poi, laulau, poke and a kalua pig. And often the Hawaiian Wedding Song (made popular by Elvis Presley in the movie Blue Hawaii) is played.

Northwest: Only saw one piece of information on this, but apparently Northwest weddings are very laid back and oftentimes the reception is potluck. 

Again, these traditions have blended a bit and may not be strictly to region now, but for many this is where they got their start. You can mix and match and pick and choose whatever you like!

Discussion: Are there any traditions above you've never heard of? Are there any you'd like to try?  

Prayer: Lord God, what interesting traditions are found within our own country. Father, we thank you for the uniqueness of these traditions, and pray each ceremony will be unique to our couples. In Christ, Amen.

Where's My Seat?

Seating chart or opening seating at the reception? That is a question The Knot magazine tackled in their most recent issue, weighing out the pros and cons of both. Pros for a seating chart included expedited seating and organization and the con being the time consuming part of setting that up. For open seating, the pros were saving on place cards and encouraging mixing and mingling, with the con being confusion for guests seeking a seat.

I'll tell you this, I have never been to a wedding with assigned seating for the guests. We've always just come in and found a seat. I don't recall feeling confused. I do remember wishing we were sitting with so-and-so, but seats were already taken at their table. But that's just hit or miss. However, it's true that people do like to be told what to do, so sometimes having that direction is helpful, welcoming and comforting. Plus then, you don't have the late couple come in and one have to sit at one table and one at another if their is only one seat left at a table. Then again, guests sometime pick up their place card and switch it with someone else's to sit where they want, so then the seating chart isn't being adhered to.

We have read that the larger the guest list, the better is it to have assigned seats for everyone. Others suggest having assigned tables, verses seats. That way people can select who they want to sit next to at their table and it's far easier than giving everyone a specific seat ... again saving time on place cards. Plus it seems couples have fun naming their tables. Kayla and Anton plan on naming the tables after songs in their playlist. When the song is played, that table gets up for food.

Sometimes a plated meal verses buffet or appetizers can help dictate whether you have a seating chart. This way if you have eight guests all ordering filet mignon, you can put them all at the same table, helping the servers. This doesn't work for the couple where one orders chicken and the other orders steak, however.

If you do decide to assign seats, be sure every guest has one person they know at the wedding they can sit with. This can't be helped in all situations, but do what you can so folks have someone to visit with.

So if assigning seats, put co-workers together, church friends together, college buddies together, people of similar interests together, family members together and that person you wanted to set up with another friend together. Don't have a singles table and don't have a kids table if you can avoid it. Apparently both can come off patronizing. And regardless of whether you assign seats or let folks choose seats, it's suggested the bridal party and immediate family have always assigned seats near the newlyweds.

If not using a chart, throw caution to the wind and let guests find their own spot. They are going to get up after the meal for dancing anyways!

Discussion: Which method above do you prefer and why? If you've been to a wedding that used either of the above options, which worked better?

Prayer: Father, we pray you give our couples guidance as to whether they should use a seating chart or have open seating. They do not want their guests to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, so help them determine what works best for their reception In Christ, Amen.

For Posterity ... And A Few Tears

Daddy and I watched our wedding video the other day. I don't think we've watched it in 15+ years. Blame that on the invention of the DVD player, since we just haven't had a VCR hooked up in forever. But it sure was a walk down memory lane to watch the cassettes. Video is so real compared to silent photos. You see the personality of the people. But it was seeing faces I hadn't seen in years that brought tears to my eyes. When my Grandma Haas was introduced to Daddy's family, I wept. She was so vibrant and smily. It had been years since I'd seen her that way. And then to see my Grandparents Swain. Grandpa handed me his handkerchief to wipe away my tears as I was hugging friends and family in the receiving line. That was typical grandpa. My heart ached to hug these souls I missed so much. Uncle John Haas, Uncle Ted Rovinski, my choir director Mrs. Sutter, neighbors, several older ladies from our church ... in 28 years, people who were active members of my environment were gone. Yet here they were in my living room "visiting" with me. Even many who are alive, I rarely see. People I grew up with and loved, they live too far away for me to enjoy. It was a mixture of emotions in watching the video: heartbreaking for those who I've missed so much and a complete joy to get to relive such a priceless time.

But I tell you what it did teach me ... that you need a wedding video. Whether done professionally by a videographer or a family friend willing to shoot raw footage without editing it, it's important to have that as a remembrance. We have the technology, so to not have that very special moment captured for all time is a terrible missed opportunity. I think if you asked your grandparents if they wished they had a video of their weddings and receptions to go back and "visit" with family members long gone, you'd get a resounding yes. And I remember that first year of our marriage, when Daddy and I were on our own in Tennessee, watching that video a whole bunch of times.

So be sure to have someone with a video camera in hand catching those candid moments of the day. You will want to see what others are doing (especially your fiance prior to seeing the wedding day), since you will be pretty busy yourself. And make sure it's an outgoing someone, willing to step up to strangers and ask for marriage advice or messages for the bride and groom. Make sure it's someone who has operated a video camera prior to this day - you won't want to have missed precious memories because someone forgot to take the lens cap off, forgot to turn on the mike or couldn't tell when the camera was recording. Make sure it's not someone who will constantly talk over the action in the video. Make sure it's someone who takes direction well, but yet is spontaneous enough to catch something you may not have thought of. Make sure they have a good camera that does well in low light and has an amazing zoom. If you can get two different people shooting video, you'll have double the footage and twice the angles to edit together later. If they have a tripod, that will take the shake out of various events like the ceremony and dancing.

So if you haven't given much thought to this, take the time to do so. You'll never regret having it, but you will certainly regret it if you don't.

Discussion: Do you have a wedding videographer? What are specific things in the wedding you'll want to watch later? Have you ever watched others' wedding videos? What parts did you enjoy? What was a waste of film?

Prayer: Lord God, you have given us minds to keep sweet memories, and we thank you for the capability today to capture events as they happen to watch again later. Thank you for that chance to visit with people we love so much when they are no longer around. In Christ name, Amen.

Getaway Car With Style

It's a southern wedding tradition Anton is not very fond of ... trashing the getaway car for the bride and groom. A car filled with birdseed, styrofoam peanuts, glitter, confetti or rice, smashed with eggs, sardines under the hood or covered in shaving cream, plastic wrap, cheese whiz, vaseline, silly string or toilet paper ... for a very unique decor check out the getaway car in the movie Steel Magnolias. For some it's endearing. For others, it seems mean. And depending on the materials, could damage the finish on the car. Depending on the extent of the "damage," the response by the wedding couple could be positive or could strain a friendship. So trashers need to be cautious.

A safer more edifying tradition is decorating the getaway car. That's been going on for years with people tying aluminum cans or shoes on strings to hang from the car bumper. In some countries, they decorate the couple's car in tulle and flower bouquets. Others will have a sign on the car saying "Just married." In the day of our marriage, the car was covered in tissue pom pons, streamers and signs. 

Some suggestions:
Tissue pom pons in the couple's wedding colors
Streamers or curly ribbon
Chalk markers to write on windows
Vinyl decals
Just Married sign
Balloons

Avoid using tin cans cause they can spark or fly off the car and hit other vehicles and that would be bad.

Usually the groomsmen decorate the getaway car (although bridesmaids and family members can take on the duties as well). Hopefully you trust your friends to embellish your transportation. If you don't ... you may want to trust the keys to someone you know who will be kind and/or hide the car until the moment before leaving.

Discussion: Have you ever seen a trashed wedding couple's car? What was the couple's reaction? Tell about the best decorated wedding car you've seen.

Prayer: Lord God, decorating a car for a newlywed couple's first drive away from the wedding or reception can be fun and honoring. We pray our decorators will have fun and respect the couples and that the newlyweds will be pleasantly surprised. In Jesus, Amen.

As Far As It Depends On You

Today there will be a lot of folks posting pictures of the Twin Towers in NYC on social media. For anyone who was around on this date in 2001, it matters to us all. Like our grandparents before us who remember where they were during the attack of Pearl Harbor, we remember vividly where we were when we heard a plane crashed into the World Trade Center North Tower. We remember watching the television in horror and disbelief as a second plane hit the South Tower. We were under attack, and we all knew it in that moment. And it scared us. War was brought to our homeland. And our country changed forever. Our economy, our security, our trust and our patriotism were forever altered by those events. Regardless of our backgrounds, we all had a common enemy. Regardless of our relationships, we all were brokenhearted. We wept for our lost Americans in New York City, Washington, D.C. and Pennsylvania. We saw their faces and we heard their names. The phrase, "Let's roll," became a battle cry. We prayed for our emergency responders. We prayed for our president. We prayed for the families of the lost. It took only moments, but its effects linger these fourteen years later. We will never forget.

What does this have to do with marriage, you ask? It shows how in the blink of an eye your situation can change. It reaffirms what should be your goal as a couple: to delight in the moments you have with your loved ones. Because they are fleeting. It reminds you that you are His, in His care and serving His children as if they were your own.

My sweet darlings, our prayer is you will never, ever see something like that again in your lifetimes. That your children will live in a world of peace and love, empathy and forgiveness, grace and caring. The chance of that, based on our history and sinful natures, is not good. But we'll be praying for it nonetheless. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Strive to love each other passionately, deeply and sacrificially. Delight in your moments together. These are precious times. Regardless of the number of minutes, days or years you have, those times together are such a gift. Enjoy them. And remember that truly, we are all one huge family on this planet with one amazing Father God. Remember to love those family members as such.

I have a friend whose only child, a son, was born on this date in 2001. While the world was changing, a sweet face entered it. While she remembers what happened in our country that day, she sees in her son, the hope of our future. And while there may be heartache in that future, there will be joy, too. Seek it.

We have learned a lot as a nation and as people since this date in 2001. Praying it pushes us, inspires us, warns us and softens us. And praying it's enough.


Discussion: What do you remember about 9-11? Did you learn anything as a result of it? Do you think Americans have?

Prayer: Bless us, O Lord, for we have heavy hearts when we remember what happened on this date. We see, Lord, our failings and, Father, the moments of joy and blessings in the midst of it. Lord, we thank you for never leaving us. And we thank you for being our God in control of everything. May all come to know and love you and love your children. In Christ, Amen.

Bird Day

Just recently a former colleague shared a sweet story of celebrating fun accomplishments in her family. This is what she shared.

"We celebrate Bird Days. Early in our marriage, someone gave me this dorky little crystal bird that held a birthday candle. Sigh. Soon after, one of the kids came home with news of a fun accomplishment that deserved to be celebrated. So I grabbed the bird and put it her place at the supper table. When we all came to the table, we lit the candle. She got to share her good news and we sang, 'Happy Bird Day," while she blew out the candle and made a wish. Bird Days became our way of celebrating promotions, good grades, good deeds, rights of passage, you name it. The kids were eager to whisper "Mom, I think that deserves a Bird Day." My daughter and son will now tell me their spouse deserves a Bird Day next time we gather for a meal. God inspires! Grab those memory making opportunities that unite you and run with them."

She added that she recently purchased her pregnant daughter a pewter bird to begin her own Bird Days. Now we're not necessarily suggested you get a bird candle holder, but her point about celebrating those accomplishments and sweet moments is certainly valid. There are so many challenges in life that people deal with, that to take time out to celebrate the special moments and precious victories is worth it and so much fun. It's similar to our Joy Jar (blog Dec. 31 of last year) talking about writing down special moments to remember and read about at the end of the year. But this is endearing in that it truly celebrates the joy in the moment. Kinda like when we got ice cream cones for every first and last day of school. With all life throws at people, we need to celebrate all we can.

It's part of edification and building up one another as in 1 Thessalonians 5:11. "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." Enjoy those times and celebrate as often as you can. Those are memories worth making for the people you love.

Discussion: What are ways you have celebrated special moments or acknowledged accomplishments in your beloved? Is there something you would like to do similar to Bird Days?

Prayer: Lord, we are so blessed by you and we love to celebrate those blessings. Help us remember to pause in life to rejoice in those special events. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Naked? Problem Solved.

Argue naked. Yep, that's what the advice said. I asked friends just recently for some marriage advice for this blog since we're coming to the end of the 365 days to Rob and Ayla's wedding and the idea stock is running low. And that was one piece I got. Argue naked. Immediately after that, it said, "This is fun and exciting and solves problems in a hurry." Of course, I laughed out loud, but honestly, I wondered if it worked. So Daddy and I tested this theory just yesterday morning. Tensions were rising, so I immediately stripped down. "It's working," he said with a smile. He started to try to make his point again and started stuttering. "What was that argument about again?" he asked. I laughed and said, "I don't know, but I was probably right."

Naked arguing could solve a lot of problems in marriages. Then it would get heated in a whole different way, hubba hubba. I mean, how can you keep an argument going when you're there staring at the beautiful soul God gave you right there in the literal flesh. The last thing a woman wants to do when she's angry with her spouse is to get intimate, so why not nip that in the bud before it gets to that point. Now if you do this, you may want to be in the privacy of your bedroom, because when kids come along, naked arguing will be super creepy for them.

A friend told me she and her husband had a plan that when arguments got heated, they would walk away or ask for time to think and pray. Then come back when ready to discuss by lighting a candle at the dinner table and pouring a glass of wine for the two of you. Again, haven't tried this but may be worth it. Come back naked to the table and I'll bet that will also help.

For that matter, naked could make a whole lot of things more fun. Vacuuming, laundry, bed making, dishes. You just have to watch for unguarded windows and unexpected company. And I would avoid more dangerous jobs like ironing, repairs requiring a nail and hammer and cooking (although with that last one, Daddy would say, "Then just put on an apron.")

1 Corinthians 7:4 already tells us that our body belongs to our spouse: "For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does," so putting those bodies to good use - like preventing escalating arguments - can only be beneficial to a couple being obedient to God's Word. 

So remember this for after the wedding ... get naked, make up and have fun.

Discussion: Do you think naked would be a good argument solver? What might be some other ways to solve an argument.

Prayer: Lord Jesus we are fearfully and wonderfully made! May we always appreciate the beauty in each other. And I pray we don't let arguments escalate, but have respect, love and appreciation for our spouse. In Christ's name, Amen.